Text Review Roundup: My Little Pony: The Movie (part 1)

Come on, I could hardly not do a TRR for this, could I? Unsurprisingly, there are a lot more review sources than for show episodes, so I have had to pick and choose a little bit. I'm prioritising freely accessible, non-paywalled sites, but I am not giving priority to those reviewers who happen to agree with me. This is intended to be a reasonable cross-section. Also, the amount of syndication in US movie reviewing is ridiculous.
 
As a large number of these are professional reviews, there have been many more text-based reviews than we get for an episode – a YouTube video just won't cut it if you're writing for a national publication. So it's a long list – seriously, a long list! Off we go, then. As it's inevitably very spoilery, I'm using a page break – come past the cut for the reviews!

Note: I will probably do a separate TRR at some point for reviews from British sources, and maybe even another for text-based reviews of the movie from within the fandom.


The All State – very negative ("Everything about the plot is very rushed and lackluster ... nothing about this movie reflects [the show's] genuine quality ... a disappointment to the source material")

Alternate Ending – mixed (2.5/5; "a conspicuous stylistic monstrosity [but] I admire the film's color palette ... it is too damn long ... A better toy commercial than any given Transformers picture, but still.")

AV Club – negative ("will not do much to dissuade those non-believers ... definitely has its moments [but] Equestria Girls did a better job")

AZCentral – positive (3.5/5; "all joyous silliness, as a My Little Pony movie should be, packed with clean humor and pony puns")

The Best Darn Girls – fairly positive (3/5; "surprisingly watchable ... not spectacular [but] has a good amount of laughs and some notable songs")

Blu-ray.com – mildly positive (6/10; "isn’t much in the end, but it does offer a pleasant message on the value of inclusion and friendship, and provides enjoyably active animation and performances")

Catholic Spirit – positive ("Jayson Thiessen deserves a great big hug for keeping the adventure moving and juggling multiple characters")

CBS Detroit – very positive ("perfect for the entire family ... [i]f you’re looking for a fun family adventure, you won’t go wrong")

Celebrity Insider – positive ("Kid [sic] who love My Little Pony should find My Little Pony: The Movie a perfect way to spend the weekend.")

Chesapeake Family Magazine – broadly positive ("Pleasantly self-aware and consistently amusing [but] feels about 10 minutes too long")

Chicago Sun-Times – positive (3/4; "an utter delight ... plot is boilerplate kid’s fare ... catchy, empowering songs")

ChristianAnswers – mildly positive (3/5; "a somewhat darker pony tale, but evil is overcome by love and friendship")

CinemaBlend – positive (3.5/5; "quite honestly, one of the best kid's movies we've gotten this entire year ... definitely feels a little bit light when compared to the cream of the crop in kids' movies [but] a truly magical comedy adventure")

Cinemalogue – negative ("might charm small kiddos enough to spark toy sales ... rudimentary animation ... would be more tolerable without the forgettable songs")

CineMarter – generally negative (4/10; "isn’t going to be enough to endear those not already indoctrinated into this fanbase")

Common Sense Media – positive (3/5; "Positive messages, some scary stuff in sweet, sparkly romp.")

Cornell Daily Sun – mixed ("The visuals are the movie’s greatest strength. Unfortunately, characterization is its greatest weakness.")

Daily Hive – positive (3.5/5; "I am happy to report that My Little Pony: The Movie is a sheer delight.")

Deluxe Video Online – negative ("does nothing wrong; it also doesn't do anything right ... safe, pedestrian")

Deseret News – negative (1.5/4; "pales next to superior animated fare ... humor and writing ... are weak and often cringeworthy")

Destructoid Flixlist – very negative (3.5/10; "Straight to the glue factory ... contrived, soulless, and sparkly")

Detroit News – mildly positive ("won’t disrupt the Best Animated Feature category at next year’s Oscars (despite any potential Brony protests), but for a message of friendship, you can do a lot worse")

Dove – very positive ("a colorful, entertaining adventure ... deliver[ed] on heart, inspiration, and truth ... my hopes were not high going into the theater…but by the end, I was a believer") 

Feelin' Film – very positive (4/5; "I can genuinely say that I had a wonderful time ... music stands out ... Fluttershy and Applejack are somewhat lost ... beautifully animated ... If being a brony is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.")

FilmBook – rather negative ("fans will feel the same magic they get from the series, but for non-fans, while harmless, this movie will feel like one of those time-wasting animated musicals from the 1990s")

Flayrah – rather negative ("[The show is] so good, that for the new My Little Pony: The Movie, being okay is nowhere near good enough.")

Gamerheadquarters – mixed (6.3/10; "animation was good ... soundtrack could not have been better [but] the film did not do a good job at introducing viewers to the franchise ... very predictable ending")

High-Def Digest – slightly negative (2/5; "I can see how this likely has appeal for many. I’m just not one of them ... harmless fluff made for the almost inexplicably large fan base")

Hill Country News – positive ("Kids of all ages should enjoy the film ... and if you’re a Brony, this movie won’t disappoint.")

Hollywood Reporter – very negative ("Attention The Emoji Movie: Your status as worst animated feature of the year might well be in jeopardy when My Little Pony: The Movie trots into theaters")

The Hot Pink Pen – slightly negative ("With its clunky plot and tedious running time, all that can be said for My Little Pony: The Movie is that it has its moments.")

IGN – negative (3.5/10; "It’s going to leave fans of the series frustrated and everybody else completely baffled ... falls back on tiresome action-adventure clichés")

Kentwired.com – very negative (graded D-; "exactly as unbearable as you could imagine ... generic and derivative")

Lainey Gossip – very negative ("The television show ... is adorable and charming ... None of this translates to the film, which is a ceaseless nightmare of forced merriment ... The pacing is TERRIBLE ... And the voices. Dear god, the voices.")

Los Angeles Times – mixed ("there are times ... where it truly drags ... but for those who already love it, it’ll be just right.")

Mark Reviews Movies – negative (1.5/4; "rudimentary animation and ... formulaic story")

Movie Deputy – mixed (4.5/10; "aimed at a very young audience and is reminiscent of the Care Bear Movie")

Movie Nation – extremely negative (1/4; "the movie, like the TV series it spun from, is insipid pap ... flat, gummy-bear colored poppycock")

National Post – fairly positive ("not going to win any Oscars, but it’s a solid time-waster for anyone obsessed with tiny equines")

Newsday – very positive (rated 5 smiles)

One Guy's Opinion – mixed (graded C; "colorful, with vibrant pastel animation [but] hobbled by a [clichéd] script ... blandly Disneyesque songs ... the series’ legions of fans ... will probably be enchanted")

Online Athens – mixed ("one of the few decent family flicks 2017 has managed to produce [but] I’m disappointed in its choice to pay homage to the scarier aspects of ‘80s kiddie flicks")

Pajiba – positive ("offers a sophisticated message about trauma and self-love")

Parent Previews – broadly positive (graded B; "For all its faults, the movie is also full to bursting with moments of trust and friendship.")

The Purcell Register – generally positive ("flat performances aren’t helped at all by the film’s animation [but] I really did enjoy this movie ... the main characters are really likeable, the music is fantastic")

QNetwork.com – mixed (2/4; "I can’t say that I really enjoyed it ... often comes across like a hyper puppy [but does have] imaginative ideas, complex plotting, and a genuine sense of humor")

Rappler – mildly positive ("cute for kids, tolerable for adults")

Ready, Steady, Cut! – very negative (3/10; "my daughter ... thought it was wonderful [but] she's not writing the review ... It’s lazy, uninspired, generic, overstuffed and unfunny, and it’s proud of that.")

Rendy Reviews – very positive (rated 4/5 and 82%; "a joyfully inspired TV to film adaptation that brilliantly brings back the magic of ... 2D animation.")

RogerEbert.com – negative (1.5/4; "Shrieky, garish and incessantly perky ... harmless, even though it’s terrible")

Rotoscopers – positive (3.5/?; "plot is tight for the most part ... each pony has their time in the sun ... except Fluttershy, who is terribly under edited ... a lot of fun")

Sacramento News & Review – negative (2/5; "meandering plot is merely a framework to involve as many Hasbro toys as possible ... this cutesy-pie drivel couldn’t possibly interest anyone over the age of 7")

St. Louis Post-Dispatch – fairly positive (2.5/4; "most of the songs are forgettable [but] the film feels like an extended episode from the show")

Salt Lake Tribune – positive (3/4; "by turns cute, charming, funny and even a little touching ... a candy-colored chunk of pure escapism")

San Francisco Chronicle – rather negative ("well-intentioned, but filled with low production values ... looks like the cable network cartoon, simply expanded")

Saturday Mornings Forever – mildly positive (3/5; "Fans of the show and kids will most likely like it, although newcomers and general audiences may fail to find what made the show so magical in the first place.")

ScreenIt – mixed (5/10; "not as bad as I feared ... animation is wildly uneven ... passable enough entertainment for kids")

SFGate – rather negative ("There’s a solid half hour of entertainment here, stretched mercilessly into 1 hour and 39 minutes [though] the cynicism-free vibe is refreshing")

SF Weekly – very positive ("has plenty to offer viewers of all ages, it does not require prior familiarity with Friendship Is Magic, and it’s quite smart ... it's damn good")

Slant – negative (1/4; "Visually plain and ploddingly paced ... only really perks to life during its musical numbers ... banality, repetitiveness")

Slate – fairly positive ("There are enjoyable set pieces ... and it’s pleasing to see the characters rendered in cinematic animation ... [b]ut the ponies’ exploits will feel familiar ... the series’ distinctive charms poke through")

Splash Report – rather negative (graded C-; "For all the hugs and kisses, all the rainbows and flowers, all the unicorns and cupcakes, one cannot imagine a more average film galloping along.")

Star2.com – very positive (8/10; "a fun, exhilarating, fast-paced, action-adventure-packed film")
The above review is written as a letter to Celestia!

The Steve Pulaski Message Board – mixed (2.5/?; "threadbare plot [but] at least marginally entertaining ... so-so music")

Substream – fairly negative (2.5/5; "a pretty shallow experience, which is functionally fine for distracting a small child for over an hour but somewhat disappointing for adults and fans")

Toronto Star – fairly negative (2/4; "Everything great about the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic TV show is retained ... but most of the film feels like an exercise in creating enough plot to hit the 90-minute mark.")

True View Reviews – broadly positive (3/4; "might have a very transparent plot to parents and adults, but young children should find the entire affair exciting and fun")

Washington Post – fairly positive (2.5/4; "Cloying, perhaps, not to mention a little long in getting there. But oh so cute.")

WatchPlayRead – positive (4/5; "incredibly sweet and surprisingly sophisticated [although] at times it is overly polished")

Willamette Week – slightly negative (2/4; "Bronyism hangs heavy over each knowing aside ... can't help but curdle the surrounding ethos of friendship")

Winnipeg Free Press – slightly negative ("may not be terrible, but it simply has no compelling reason — beyond more sparkly, rainbow-coloured merchandising tie-ins — for this leap onto the big screen")

Wizard – positive ("the jeopardy is real, and the stakes high ... The cinematic hug you seek is right here. Everypony, smile.")

The Wrap – positive ("Everything that makes the show so beloved by kids (and their parents) survives the jump to the big screen, bringing unbridled joy to all")

The Young Folks – mixed ("Never short on energy, enthusiasm, sincerity and gummy, gooey sweetness, yet never quite clever, inspired or inviting enough to win you over")