Ponyfic Roundup 342

Read it Later story count: 147 (+4) 

The biggest increase in my RiL list for a little while – but, well, it was a convention weekend. People at cons will insist on telling me about stories they like and making them sound as though I need to read them, preferably before the end of the day. In the circumstances, I'm quite glad I didn't end up breaking through the 150 barrier again! Anyway, here's today's trio:

Of Birds and Bees and Awkward Things by JoeShogun
Poolside Pandemonium by Knox Locke
NightmareBoss by RainbowDoubleDash

★: 1 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 0 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.

Of Birds and Bees and Awkward Things by JoeShogun
Twilight and Celestia
Comedy/Slice of Life; 11k words; Dec 2013; Teen (Sex)

A young Twilight interrupts Celestia at an inoppotune moment.

Celestia had always told Twilight she could come and seek guidance at any time, but she hadn't counted on a knock at the door just as she was ready for a hot, sexy date. The first chapter is very funny, containing not only Tia's akwardness but a few bits of very interesting world-building (I really like one about clocks). Then it's down to giving Twi... The Talk. This could have been cringe-inducing, but JoeShogun treads the path carefully, allowing some quite interesting – and detailed – information about sex to be imparted to the Princess's young student without making me feel sick. (I must stress that Celestia does not say or do anything improper. I'd never review a fic like that.) There's also a little more world-building here and there, showing that the author has thought about how things work in Equestria, rather than just shoe-horning in a human approach. Problems? The writing itself is occasionally uneven: a couple of annoying word choices ("plot" and "clopping" both appear) and there's a tiny bit of this: "...and fled in terror bravely galloped..." – which almost never works well. This landed on the three/four boundary for me, but checking back now I noticed a truly heart-melting line of Twilight's that, call me a pushover if you like, nudged it into the higher category. ★★★★

Poolside Pandemonium by Knox Locke
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash
Comedy/Slice of Life; 1k words; Mar 2021; Everyone

When Rainbow Dash brings Fluttershy to the public pool with her, she's shocked to discover that Fluttershy seems afraid to go in the water. Rainbow might just have to do something about that.

A much simpler story now. Perhaps unsurprisingly, as it comes from a speedwriting contest. That does occasionally show in a few slightly clunky moments ("rainbow-maned friend", argh) but it's not at all bad technically for speedwriting. The mystery of why Fluttershy – a perfectly good swimmer – doesn't want to enter the pool did keep me reading, too. The problem I had was that the reveal, though one I haven't seen before, not only seemed a little out of character for 'Shy around her oldest friend but also unconvincing in context. (See this spoilery Fimf comment for why.) That means I can only give this a low score, though if you don't know what's coming the mystery itself has some interest. ★★

NightmareBoss by RainbowDoubleDash
Nightmare Moon and Mane Six
Comedy/Random; 1k words; Feb 2012; Teen

Rock ON.

Ever wondered what the creator of the Lunaverse did before creating the Lunaverse? This. It's the guy's first published ponyfic, pre-dating the initial version of "Boast Busted" (the first Lunaverse fic) by a few weeks. In this story, set at the time of the S1 premiere, Nightmare Moon shatters the Elements, but Twilight challenges her to a rock-off. What follows is an expletive-filled bit of weirdness that's (apparently) based heavily on a Tenacious D track. For all I know it's done brilliantly, but I don't know or like the song and so it's just a bunch of ponies swearing at each other a lot. Fluttershy gets a raw deal, too. Given that, and remembering I score mostly on how much I personally like a story, not on trying to measure objective quality, there's not really any other rating I can give it but this one: ★

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Next time, stories reviewed should include bookplayer's Potion Maker Apple Bloom fic A Guide to Magic.