Ponyfic Roundup 374: Spotlight on Refrain

Read it Later story count: 99 (+2)

Although I'm unable to review Nine Days Down (see here for why), I've chosen to stick with the Spotlight format today for another story. This fic is a bit shorter than most I give this treatment to, but on the other hoof it's a bit longer than most I discuss in my regular PRs. This story was runner-up in a Write-Off back when they were on /fic/, so we're going back quite some way in fandom history.

Refrain by NTSTS
Octavia, OCs and Other
Sad/Slice of Life; 25k words; Jul 2013; Teen

My name is Octavia. I play the piano. I'm not sure that's the best introduction, but it's the one I've used for most of my life, so maybe it will do for now.

This is Octavia's story, told in first person, from her early fillyhood to early adulthood. It turns out that her childhood was not especially happy, possessed as she was of a controlling mother who was ever more obsessed that her daughter become a great pianist. Octavia herself doesn't really want to play the piano, but her mother knows what's good for her. In the background lurks the question of where her father might have gone. It's a solid enough tale, with Octavia's voice usually keeping in check the excessive purple-proseyness that can infect writers trying to write a posh character. The focus is quite tight, which is good in some ways but also makes things a little bit relentless. It's a pretty decent character study, especially by 2013 standards, but it's lacking a bit in life at times. ★★★

You can find a few more of my thoughts, together with major spoilers, beyond the page break.

Octavia's mother is, if anything, more of a memorable character in this story than she herself is. Her mum is quite the piece of work: although not actively abusive or neglectful, she smokes and drinks – I like the way this gradually, unobtrusively, gets worse as the story goes on – and she is obsessed with turning Octavia into a Great Pianist. We never quite find out how that relates to Octavia's father's long-ago disappearance, but the implication is very strong that the two things are related.

One of the irritations I had with Refrain was that it all gets a bit repetitive after a couple of chapters. Oh look, here's Octavia having another unhappy birthday. Here's her mother pressuring her to play that song on the piano again. Here's the filly having a lonely, sad time at school and being unable to relate properly to other kids – Minuette's cameo stands out here. You could argue that this is realistic, that some people (and presumably ponies) really do have childhoods like that. However, I'm not sure it's that great for holding a reader's interest.

By far my favourite character in Refrain is Grace Note, her piano tutor. He is the stallion who actually seems to enjoy helping her to learn, and you can tell that Octavia responds to this. I was worried at first that we were going to get the hoary old chestnut of "private tutor turns out to be a creep" but not in Grace Note's case; I was delighted about that. I did feel a little bit short-changed at the way he disappeared from the story, though. Again, maybe realistic in the context of Octavia's fillyhood – but again, a little underwhelming to read. I did briefly wonder if Grace Note was Octavia's long-lost dad, too...

So, what of the instrument that we all associate with Octavia, the cello? NTSTS chose to have this introduced to her by Grace Note, but for some reason we get one scene and that's it. Surely he would have realised her interest in it and at least talked to Octavia more about cello, if not let her try her hoof at playing? As things turn out, we don't actually get another cello scene until the very end, where despite a piano scholarship to a posh Canterlot orchestra, she asks for a transfer.

All in all, I found Refrain a little frustrating. Octavia's mother ending up terminally ill with cancer was another "maybe realistic, but so predictable" thing, as was the frankly slightly jarring scene where Octavia is sexually assaulted at school prom time. Actually, that reminds me: especially for such an old story, the characters feel surprisingly unequine. These could almost have been humans. Maybe that was the point; I don't know. But although it was quite poignant and quietly atmospheric, I didn't quite get what I hoped for from this.

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Next time on Ponyfic Roundup, I hope to review four stories, of which one is planned to be Schacza's drama Insecurities.