Read it Later story count: 96 (+1)
I must admit, when I said I was going to nudge my weekly story total up from three to four, I rather suspected that something would go wrong almost at once to stop me establishing that new level as the norm. Amazingly, it hasn't, and I have another four fics to look at this week. Here they are:
Telling Tales by James Washburn
The Enemy Within by Jake the Army Guy
Unplanned by Alicorn
The Most Basic of Jokes by CartsBeforeHorses
★: 2 | ★★: 0 | ★★★: 1 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.
OC, Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity
Adventure/Comedy; 22k words; Oct 2012; Everyone
A storyteller comes to Ponyville and, quite against his better judgement, tells stories.
Tall Tales is on his way to a gathering in Connemara, but a good storyteller can always find an audience. So here he is in Ponyville, telling... well, tall tales. Unfortunately one or two of his listeners are less than co-operative, not least the mare he quickly dubs The Pink Devil who seems less than well acquainted with storytelling in this mould at all. (I raised an eyebrow at this, even in a 2012 fic, but it does work in context.) One problem is that the purple unicorn in particular is inclined to quibble on factual grounds, given that she was there at some of these adventures. Tall Tales' mild crush on Twilight is amusing, and there are some nice lines in here: "not a reverential hush [...] but a more confrontational sort of hush" is a good example. The story itself is borderline anthology, with several (often fairly thinly ponified) folk and fairy tales linked with bits of business from the Ponyvillians. My favourite chapter is quite late on: look out for the name Trotsky McGee and you'll be there. However, the Manes get more of a look-in by then, which is a mixed blessing as Pinkie gets too meta occasionally and Fluttershy is (again, even for 2012) excessively timid. Also, one of the tales-within-the-story contains the real eye-roller "he wondered how she'd look in tube socks". This fic is an RCL inductee, but it maybe says something that I was slightly surprised to discover that fact after reading it. Very much a mixed bag, though rather more good than bad so a lowish three seems right. ★★★
The Enemy Within by Jake the Army Guy
Spike, Luna, Shining Armor and Mane Six
Drama/Sad; 8k words; Feb 2021; Everyone
How does one live knowing there's a monster inside of them?
I was mildly startled to see a story set directly after "Secret of My Excess" appearing in 2021 – but having read it, I'm very glad it did. This fic takes a look at the after-effects on Spike himself of his mid-S2 rampage, and instead of the obvious ponies (Twilight, Celestia or Shining Armor) it's Luna who ends up talking to him. This is very well justified in-story, and it works very well. Characterisation is very satisfying, too. And yes, I said Shining Armor: the author skilfully manages to justify his appearance this early in FiM chronology without making a mess of "A Canterlot Wedding". Kudos. I don't have much to complain about here, except that Fluttershy gets less screen time than any of her fellow Bearers – odd for a story set this early, given that it was 'Shy who instantly befriended Spike in the very first episode of the show! There's also a bit with Luna mentioning that there is a remarkable relationship between some zebras and dragons but "The details of which are... complicated" – understandable to avoid going into details to avoid the story getting sidetracked, but rather frustrating nonetheless! Still, the heart of this fic is the bond that grows between Spike and Luna. This is great and the niggles I mentioned are only that, niggles. Recommended. ★★★★
Unplanned by Alicorn
Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Celestia and Mane Six
Slice of Life/Tragedy; 2k words; Mar 2013; Everyone
When Rainbow Dash gets an a freak accident and loses her wings, Twilight decides to help. Even if it means to lose something she loves.
Rainbow is attempting a sonic rainboom (because of course she is) when she crashes awkwardly. Hardly her first flying injury, but this time the doctor informs her that the damage is such that operating would be too dangerous and amputation is necessary. Twilight, desperate to help her friend, talks to Celestia and forms a remarkable plan. This is a frustrating story, because I could see the basic idea having formed a nice little bit of feelsiness, though it would take care to keep it in character. Here, though, the pace is far too hurried almost throughout and you can see the main point of the story coming from space. As the author acknowledges, the end is not exactly thrilling either. This was actually a bit better than I imagined from the thumbscore (+23/-9) but not quite enough to bring it a two-star rating. ★
The Most Basic of Jokes by CartsBeforeHorses
Maud Pie
Comedy/Slice of Life; 1k words; Dec 2017; Teen (Narcotics, Violence)
Maud tells jokes to an audience.
We get a thousand words (almost exactly; Fimf says 1,001) of her routine, and it's... well, it's certainly unique. Maud knows her audience, and she provides a nice range of topics and types of joke, ranging from puns to politics. The problem is that almost none of them are particularly funny, not even in a Maud-type way. There's also a horribly clunky real-world reference early on which entirely fails to work in ponyfic even as pure silliness. As with the last fic, I'm fairly sure this could have been polished into, if not a diamond then at least something moderately shiny. As it is, though, it doesn't catch the eye. Another story which can't quite climb into the twos. ★
Next time, I hope that the stories I review will include Aorts Commander's Twilight/Cadance team-up adventure, The Heart of the Matter.
A real mixed bag this week! Thanks as ever for another interesting instalment.
ReplyDeleteYes, I suppose with four a week now there's more chance of a variety of verdicts.
DeleteRead The Enemy Within first time shortly after it was new, and then more properly a month or two back. I found it similarly excellent for the same reasons you did. The Spike and Luna characterisation, bond and relationship is truly excellent, and the main reason I still remember it reasonably vividly. Though the other details you note are all great too. Hope that's a strong ★★★★!
ReplyDeleteOof, two ★ fics this weeks. As for that storytelling one, I'm not sure about. Maybe worth a casual dive, though I do wish it were shorter so I could more easily justify the time for a fic I'm undecided about. We'll see.
I'd probably share your enthusiasm about maintaining the four-per-week schedule thus far if the RiL list was still shrinking. Yet it still went up regardless! But yes, great that it hasn't broken yet.
Yes, it's a strong four. It really is very good, one of those fics that just works.
DeleteI'm not planning on taking the RiL story count very low. Actually, if it hovers in the 90-100 range, I'll be fine with that.
I had the privilege of helping out with Jake's story, and I enjoyed it quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteWell then, thank you too for your contributions to it.
DeleteWow, thank you for the warm review! The Enemy Within actually began its life as a story about Celestia and Luna being alone for the first time post Nightmare Moon, with Luna working through her guilt over her actions, and Celestia working through her guilt over not seeing the signs and trying to help. As I was struggling to make it work, As I was working on it, I thought to myself, "Wait a minute. If you look at it through a certain lens, there are a lot of parallels between Nightmare Moon and Spikezilla." And that, as they say, was that. I have always had a man-crush on Spike, and his relationship with Twilight is still my favorite thing about the show, mainly because it reminds me so much of my relationship with MY big sister. As for the whole dragon/zebra connection, that was honestly just lampshaded to explain why Zecora knew what was happening to Spike. I am sure whatever popped into your head was much more creative than whatever IO would have written.
ReplyDeleteFor real, my dude, thank you for the kind words. I love telling stories and entertaining people, so knowing that someone enjoyed a story of mine is probably the best feeling in the world. Stay awesome! ^_^
You're more than welcome, and thank you for the insight into the writing process too! As I mentioned to Mike above, this wasn't a story that just scraped a four-star rating, it was a very solid four indeed. Very enjoyable!
Delete