Ponyfic Roundup 405: A Thousand Words Contest fics – Part Five: Gold Medallists

Read it Later story count: 89 (nc) 

Well, here we go. This is the PR when I look at the winners of each of the five categories, which to refresh your memory were Fluff, Angst, Humo(u)r, Grim and Experimental. I'm writing this intro before reading them, and I'm both excited and intrigued. I don't really know what to expect, since contest winners often stand out in surprising ways. That being so, I should probably stop rabbiting on and get on with the reviews! Here we go...

Wednesdays are Sacred by Aragon
Alicorn Ascentionism Tantamount to Plothole by Botched Lobotomy
As Above, So Below by Reviewfilly
The Sweet Sounds of Spring by Rambling Writer
Womb by mushroompone

★: 0 | ★★: 0 | ★★★: 1 | ★★★★: 3 | ★★★★★: 1
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.

Wednesdays are Sacred by Aragon
Mr Cake, Mrs Cake, Cake Twins and Pinkie Pie (EqG)
G4 EqG; Slice of Life; 1k words; May 2022; Everyone

Mr. and Mrs. Cake choose to commit a murder in their kitchen. A feelgood story.

That shortdesc and the chapter title ("A Fistful of Silver Cyanide") will alert you to the fact that this Equestria Girls fic isn't your everyday Fluff story. But really, from this author would you expect any less? So, a feelgood tale featuring killing, demons and cross-dimensional nastiness? Yes. Really. This story would be a total mess in the hands of many writers. Probably even most writers, but then Aragon is not most writers. It's not conventional fluff, but I see why it was entered there: it is genuinely heartwarming and life-affirming, and Pinkie is the perfect character to tie it all together. Points too for bringing Cheerilee into things in a small but vital role. One mildly irritatingly predictable bit regarding Fluttershy, but that's maybe my own prejudices talking. A strong start to this week, and a strong four. ★★★★

Alicorn Ascentionism Tantamount to Plothole by Botched Lobotomy
Twilight, Spike and Luna
G4; Drama/Sci-Fi; 1k words; May 2022; Teen

A sentient fanfic dreams of becoming a real show.

Fair warning: this fic does not work properly at all on an offline e-reader. It includes inline pictures as an integral part of the tale (note: one broken link is deliberate). Normally I'd grumble about that, but as this is the Experimental winner I can accept it. The only chapter is called "Chapter 5", and that's just the start as we plunge into a mixed-media world of allusions, wordplay and really non-traditional perspective. Inevitably there will be James Joyce comparisons (as the author clearly knows) and I'd imagine readers who love Joycean fiction will love this too. For me personally, this is a fic I admire (and I do; it's incredibly impressive) more than I enjoy. I will be completely honest here: although it's utterly fascinating and would doubtless repay long study, I did find this too difficult a read to love, just as I've never really enjoyed it any time I've tried to get to grips with Finnegans Wake. The judges clearly adored this, and I can't quibble with its Gold Medal, but even their glowing comments made me feel a little inadequate: I don't completely understand all of those. So a three for me, but I am fully expecting it to be a five for some, and I really couldn't say they were wrong. ★★★
NB: The author has made this blog post (spoilery) about the fic. Worth reading.
NB2: My thanks to the author for being kind enough to answer my PM clearing up a query about the story.

As Above, So Below by Reviewfilly
Cherry Berry
G4; Sad/Tragedy; 1k words; Apr 2022; Teen (Death)

A mare flies into the sky with her balloon, a mare returns to the earth without her balloon.

The Angst winner is not what you'd usually expect from that word, in that it's not melodramatic at all. That's what makes it, I think. Here we get the thoughts of Cherry Berry (an earth pony, remember) as she considers what will happen now she knows her balloon is faulty and her future is suddenly different – and much shorter – than she imagined such a short time ago. Cherry's ruminations on life and death and what happens next; the quiet progression of her thoughts from mildly humorous asides to utter fatalism to an almost inspiring finality; the way she addresses... well, who? That's all part of what makes this story fascinating. As Bicyclette says in their judge's comments, stories about ponies' thoughts as they fall are common. Stories that come close to matching this are not. Beautifully written and beautifully painful. A high four. ★★★★

The Sweet Sounds of Spring by Rambling Writer
Fluttershy
G4; Comedy; 1k words; Apr 2022; Teen (Sex, Profanity)

Fluttershy finds birdsong wonderful. Regardless of what that birdsong is about.

Reading that shortdesc, I suspected I could make a decent stab at where this Humo(u)r Gold Medallist was going. After all, I've read Songs of Love & War. In the event, I was largely right: this is a fun, very nicely turned fic about Fluttershy knowing that what birds sing about is largely sex and violence, but loving it anyway – even when Rarity turns up. This 'Shy rings pretty true. It's a smooth, entertaining read, not especially surprising once it gets going but certainly enjoyable as we read exactly what the birds are saying. It gets a four-star rating because it's a full three-act play and yet never feels rushed, impressive in this small a space. Of all the category winners, this is the one to pick if you don't want to be haunted or challenged but just want a damn good read. ★★★★

Womb by mushroompone
Sunset Shimmer
G4 EqG; Dark/Horror; 1k words; Mar 2022; Teen (Gore, Death)

We must have shared a womb. Sometimes twins eat each other in the womb.

Of all the stories in this contest, Womb perhaps created the greatest stir, so I was intrigued to see what all the fuss was about. And... my goodness. This Grim victor could perhaps also be considered Experimental in its way, but I found it considerably easier to get to grips with than some other Experimental stories I've covered. Easy reading, though? Not a bit of it. Womb takes the common Equestria Girls poser of "but what about the other Sunset Shimmer?" and not only runs with it but takes it to its hideout, calmly hits it over the head and buries it in a shallow grave before heading out for lunch. The narrator is mad, but this is a cold, logical, forensic, terrifying kind of mad. Although the [Gore] tag is probably justified, this tale is much more a chiller than a splatterfic, and to me that makes it far more frightening, as does the deceptively straightforward prose style. I found myself dreading the ending but needing to get there. Having got there, the dread did not go away. I'll end by saying this. I recently reread W. W. Jacobs' classic horror short "The Monkey's Paw". In its own way, mushroompone's story unsettled me just as much. Womb is my pick as the best story of all 28 I have read for this series. Five stars. Read this now. ★★★★★

---

What a way to end! Next time, it'll be back to a normal Ponyfic Roundup. Probably also back to reviewing only four stories, but then they won't all be a mere 1,000 words long...