Ponyfic Roundup 379

Read it Later story count: 96 (+2) 

I think I've pretty much settled into the four-review groove now, though of course it's tempting fate to say that! Don't be surprised if next week something horrible happens and I have to change the number, can the reviews entirely, replace PR with a long treatise on the cultural impact of G2 toys on the Spanish market, you name it. Still, four today at any rate, to wit:

Roll for Initiative by Prak
Orange Shade of Hay by Mochas Dungeon
Swirl of Chaos by Bunker Buster
The Ocean by Bad_Seed_72

★: 1 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.

Roll for Initiative by Prak
Mane Six and Luna
Comedy; 23k words; Oct 2013—Jul 2014; Teen

Armed with swords, spells, snacks, and a bag of dice, five heroes test their mettle against brigands, monsters, and a necromancer's undead army in the saga of gaming night in Ponyville.

As the description above suggests, this is a story about ponies playing Dungeons & Dragons. Okay, the game isn't named, so it could be Oubliettes & Ogres, which (with the words that way around!) existed in comics canon by late 2013. Twilight is the Dungeon Master, naturally, and the others are the heroes. Though Rainbow keeps on getting her character (usually Daring Do... at first) killed and one or two of the others are a bit shaky on the "role" bit of role-playing. So much so that Twilight does something about it. Now, there's a lot to like here. The slightly fuzzy but nevertheless there distinction between player and character is nicely portrayed, the dungeons have good variety and Luna's appearance halfway through brings an especially amusing dynamic to the fic. Plus it gives Fluttershy a meaty, interesting and funny part in proceedings. The downsides? The biggie is that it's very clearly aimed at people who know D&D.  For example, you're at least half-expected to know why everypony is fine with one of the party playing a lute in the middle of a battle. My knowledge of RPGs is pretty thin, so I didn't get many of these jokes and references until I looked them up, and that did grate slightly. The very last line of the fic comes across as a "thing D&D people say", but not being an insider I don't fully share the joke. Pinkie's character has an incredibly annoying way of speaking, one that doesn't become less so just because it's deliberate. (Sample: "I don't thinks we're goings anywhere.") Finally, and I agree with Chris here, the fights can be – quite literally – a bit by-the-numbers at times. Don't get me wrong, this is still a really good, fun fic that in places (especially when Fluttershy is active or Luna's around) really shines. For many D&D players, I suspect this will rate a four. For me, knowing I'm slightly the outsider here, it's a high three. ★★★

Orange Shade of Hay by Mochas Dungeon
Rainbow Dash and Applejack
Porn; 1k words; Feb 2017; Mature (Sex)

A quick clopfic wherein AJ takes Rainbow

I'm not sure offhoof, but this may be the first [Porn]-tagged fic I've reviewed. It's maybe worth quoting the long description: "Rainbow gets tied up and ravaged by AJ in this quickie. No plot, just plot." Now, there's nothing especially off-putting about that, as long as consensual bondage clopfics don't repel you; the bondage is only lightly touched on anyway, odd considering that Rainbow spends the entire fic hogtied, but there we are. AppleDash is a perfectly (in)decent pairing, too. Unfortunately it's not a good clopfic. For example, at one point we're told out of nowhere that Dash hasn't had sex for almost two months – pretty startling given how intimate she and AJ are here and how it's clearly not a new relationship. Surely there's some interesting story behind that abstinence? But no, it's immediately forgotten about. There are several awkward phrases ("Rainbow gasped sexually"). Worst of all, though, is the moment where a dildo "slipped through [Rainbow's] cervix into the womb itself". Yeeeah, I think we'll leave this one here. ★

Swirl of Chaos by Bunker Buster
Celestia, Discord and Other
Sad/Alternate Universe; 2k words; Feb 2014; Everyone

The guilt from her past keeps Celestia awake once again.

Late one night, Celestia is reading a letter she received long ago from someone special. Discord interrupts her, much to her annoyance – but there's another reason why she doesn't want to see him right now. This is a rather intriguing alternative view of Discord's past, albeit one that is now wildly non-canon-compliant. I appreciate Discord's voice being quite good, too. It's a shame the setup isn't explored a bit more deeply, and the reveal is rather obscure unless you're concentrating. I'm not sure I entirely buy the letter that ends the fic, either. A mixed bag, then. Two stars, but in the upper reaches of that band. ★★

The Ocean by Bad_Seed_72
Applejack and Rarity
Romance/Sad/Slice of Life; 10k words; Aug 2013; Everyone

Applejack and Rarity finally admit their feelings for each other, but at one of the worst possible times. Can their love survive the distance?

More shipping involving Applejack, but very much more family-friendly this time. Why it's the worst is that Rarity is about to move to Canterlot for her career. AJ, naturally, doesn't want her to go. This narrative is interspersed with flashbacks to the start of their relationship. I like the way the two principals interact here: it's a quiet story, not a flashy one, and that suits the melancholy nature of much of their thoughts. There are also some lovely little touches involving the two girls' sisters, such as Apple Bloom lowering her voice at one point "so the stars wouldn't hear". I don't really like the non-translation of the Swedish poem in the end A/N, though I guess Google Translate can sort that out. A few minor quibbles otherwise: I'm not sure what "pithy obstacles" are supposed to be, and "Celestia's sun" is rarely any better than mildly irritating. It's a gentle, sweet story, though, and it gets my second three this week. ★★★

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Next time, I'll be doing a kind of special edition, reviewing four fics that FanOfMostEverything might have submitted for consideration to the Royal Canterlot Library had that not closed its doors. (FOME actually named five, but the fifth is much longer and so will have to wait for another day.)