Ponyfic Roundup 378

Read it Later story count: 94 (-2) 

Today is Candlemas, which gives some hope that this nothing of a winter (almost no snow, mostly just grey murk) will give way to spring quite soon. I suppose it's also Groundhog Day for some, but since we don't have groundhogs here but we do have candles, Candlemas it is! Anyway, four stories as is now the norm. They are:

The Day You Were Born by MintyJoy
The Heart of the Matter by Aorts Commander
Once in a Rainbow Moon by Pineta
Protective by SomeGenericPonyNameHere

★: 1 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.

The Day You Were Born by MintyJoy
OC, Discord, Fluttershy and Mane Six
Slice of Life; 1k words; Jan 2015; Everyone

A loving letter from a father to his daughter, telling the tale of the day they first met.

Intended as a prequel to a longer fic about Flutterheart (said daughter) that was seemingly never written, this is simply the thoughts of Discord about the birth of his and Fluttershy's child; he's writing to her some years later. It's quite sweet and gentle, although Discord's voice only occasionally truly sounds like him. You'll have to at least accept the idea of FlutterCord to get on with this, and in truth there isn't much substance to it. Missing the context of the longer story, it's hard to see whether any of the little details scattered about here have any real significance. As such I can't really rate it above a middling two. ★★

The Heart of the Matter by Aorts Commander
Twilight, Cadance, Shining Armor and Spike [and untagged OCs]
Adventure; 11k words; Jul 2015; Everyone

Twilight and Cadance deal with a truculent prince in a distant land.

The two princesses have been sent off to negotiate a trade deal with Grand Prince Caldrast, who is a fun "love to hate" character, almost on a panto villain level at times but (like those panto villains) really quite dangerous too. His culture is obsessed with "honour duels", though he seems to see little contradiction in treating both guests and his people rather poorly. The centrepiece of the fic is a long honour duel between Caldrast and Cadance. We don't often see Cady fight in ponyfic, but this is the real thing, with serious magic wielded on both sides and no guarantee that both fighters will survive. There's little gore, and there's comic relief from Shining Armor's tolerant amusement that Twilight doesn't quite realise how powerful Cadance actually is, as well as Spike's hero-worship and their seen-it-all-before companion Razor Sharp. There's a nice reinterpretation of Cady's history as Princess of Love (kind of) and there's a good deal of generally satisfying world-building. Myself, I'm not a massive fan of page after page of fight scene, even if here the details are a little less predictable than in many other fics, so The Heart of the Matter does lose a little bit for me there. And minor point perhaps, but this should have been rated [Teen] for the moderately violent fight – not to mention one brief reference to, er, hitting a guy where it hurts. Nevertheless, a very solid fic that I'd think will go down well with anyone who likes it when Cadance does something. She is an alicorn, after all... a top-end three for me, but nudge that up to four if you like long fight scenes. ★★★

Once in a Rainbow Moon by Pineta
Twilight, Celestia, Luna, Flurry Heart and Rainbow Dash
Slice of Life; 2k words; Aug 2018; Everyone

One night in the crystal empire, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash decide to engineer a blue moon.

Twilight is explaining astronomy to Flurry while the latter is lying in her cot, because of course she is. The other princesses, Shining and Rainbow are there as well, and when the discussion turns to the true meaning of "blue moon" Twi and Dash hatch a plan to make a real one for the royal baby. This is a fun setup, and all the characters are used appropriately, though one aspect will depend on how tolerant you are for Celestia playing jokes on ponies. Where it falls down a bit is that, even for Twilight, the commentary on what's happening can read more like textbook than story. It's not a big fault, and I like Rainbow's weather pony experience being crucial – not that common in these more recent fics. If you can take the slightly dry sections in your stride, this is an enjoyable fic with (as the extensive end A/Ns demonstrate) a solid scientific background. ★★★

Protective by SomeGenericPonyNameHere
Fluttershy and Applejack
Adventure; 2k words; Jul 2014; Everyone

A simple errand for Fluttershy and Applejack becomes a struggle to survive!

The two ponies are off in the Everfree Forest to get a specific kind of bug for Philomena to eat. While they're out there, a dragon attacks them and Fluttershy's fear of the creatures means AJ must take charge. It's not a bad setup, but it doesn't really work here: this was the author's debut, and it shows. The pacing is rushed and uneven, there are some strange word choices (twice referring to Applejack as "the Clydesdale"), some at least mildly different LUS ("the fair furred mare" for Flutters) and not all words being capitalised properly (eg "everfree forest" a couple of times). A rather unsatisfying ending, too. It's a shame, as there's clearly quite some imagination here, seen for example in a couple of interesting touches to the dragon's design. I may return to read a later work by this writer, but this one goes in the upper reaches of the one-star band and sadly can't really be recommended. ★

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Next time, I hope that the stories I review will include Prak's gaming-night comedy, Roll for Initiative.