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| The dream sequences really show how far the animation has come since S1 |
S4E19: "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils"
Written by Dave Polsky
22 Mar 2014
My original rating: 8/10 (=★★★★)
IMDb score: 8.7
Thoughts: After everyone (ish) disagreeing with me over "Maud Pie", what will happen today? There's a strong case for saying S4 was Dave Polsky's best season, with solid eps including "Rarity Takes Manehattan", "Twilight Time" and now this. Actually, this episode might get my vote for Polsky's best episode full stop. Sweetie's mixed relationship with Rarity comes across well here, and you can tell she's a little closer to teenage argumentativeness than to the more childlike complaints of "Sisterhooves Social". I like her casual use of a little magic, too. The other CMC provide nice backup ("Serve Her Right!"), and the visuals are very pleasant as you'd hope to see in a Rarity episode. I like how Luna is written and shown, too. She's there to help, but that doesn't mean she's going to accept any old whining from Sweetie and she can be stern when required. The dream sequences are interesting and give us a little backstory, too. I'm still unsure how much I actually like Sapphire Shores, who (I suppose unsurprisingly) does have a hint of diva-ishness about her. Watching this ep again, it's interesting that I'd forgotten it was a Polsky one. It seems a bit more restrained than many of his efforts, and in this case I think it's all the better for it. Good character work for Sweetie in particular sees this episode sticking with a four-star verdict.
Choice quote: Sweetie Belle: "I... prefer show tunes."
New rating: ★★★★
Next up is "Leap of Faith", Applejack's key episode and one I've never been more than moderately enthused by. Perhaps that will change.
“For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils” - Production Changes
ReplyDeleteBuck up, this one's an absolute doozy of changes, as Pinkie Pie might say. Thankfully, all for the better.
PREMISE
Dave Polsky wrote this one from the start. Quite accurate, accounting for missing details given the one-page length. Only things of note include Luna showing some of her past with Celestia to Sweetie Belle during the dream. And the sabotage was vague and had Rarity trying to fix it, but not knowing what's wrong. Sweetie Belle's too short on time to fix it any other way but to confess, which Rarity thankfully understands.
OUTLINE
Rarity appears to have delivered each costume as she finished it, as she delivers the final one during an act break. She also almost stays to watch the play, until Fluttershy reminds her they're tight on time to finish the work for Sapphire Shores, and they also gently send Sweetie Belle off after her rant to finish. This continues with Sweetie Belle's ear against the door in a series of dissolves until Fluttershy is gone that night. The nightmare starts out differently, with Sweetie Belle fleeing a frightening Luna, then getting lonely when being alone, and then chasing a Luna that flees away from her. The birthday party flashback is different and simpler, with a Younger Apple Bloom and Scootaloo present and Sweetie Belle being present, but getting “upstaged”, as she sees it, by Rarity’s special party hats and bibs. Sweetie Belle chases after a vanishing Luna, while reflecting on how Luna must understand due to having an older sister who also shone more brightly.
The next morning has Sweetie Belle banging on her friends' doors but they are tired after revising the play since they thought it needed work after last night, which Sweetie Belle doesn't appreciate, especially when they spent the trip going over the changes with her. The final few minutes are quite different, with a different character rather then Luna helping Sweetie Belle fix things. This continues through to the scripts.
SCRIPT
The first script has a higher-then-usual number of tiny, incidental changes, as well as two massive differences that don't get revised until the animatic.
Some differences get revised in the 2nd draft - the scene with all the adults after the show originally used established characters (Snips, Snails, the Cakes, Granny Smith), but was changed to incidental ponies, probably to save on extra voice actor fees. The bit of Sweetie Belle explaining why she didn't ask for Rarity's help sooner was also added here. Oddly, the "big bummer" bit of Rarity's was originally her struggling to remember what it was in French, sensibly removed to avoid mentioning a real-world language. The nightmare scene started with a party for Sweetie Belle, rather then an awards show, and various other changes to the dream scenes, like the specifics of Rarity's career dovetailing, are made. A short scene of Sweetie Belle barging into Scootaloo's room to gather them for the mission is sensibly cut. And the final chase scene is revised to mostly eliminate the new character from above, plugging Luna back in though they still fulfil a small role.
The remaining scripts only make a few tiny changes.
ANIMATIC & OTHER CHANGES
Based on the script, we can boil changes down to two categories. First, normal time cuts, or board revisions, not accounting for small chunks of lines or single lines:
[animatic changes continued below]
[continued from above]
Delete* The cold opening had a part of Rarity musing she doesn’t want throw everything but the kitchen sink at her work, and Sweetie Belle starting to remove the sink - it explodes with water a few lines later, which Rarity repels with her magic, and after this happens a second time, right after asking for the costumes for tomorrow night, Sweetie starts fixing it while Rarity holds the water at bay. One funny bit that also got cut her was Sweetie Belle asking what Rarity’s “je ne says quoi” means, Rarity saying “I don’t know”, and Sweetie Belle mumbling as to why why she said it. The “je ne said quoi” line itself almost got cut, but The Hub requested it be retained.
* Sweetie Belle having already made terrible dresses that she wanted touched up was a board revision - they felt her anger made little sense given Rarity made dresses like she asked, and you should expect the best from Rarity when it comes to dresses. They changed this to her only wanting them touched up, but Rarity feeling they were so bad as to start from scratch, which she sees as a favour… but for Sweetie Belle, this is stepping on her independence. Thereby giving the underlying motivation and reaction logic and sense, so it felt reasonable and didn’t come across as petty.
* The scene of the CMC waiting backstage for the costumes had a bit about them imagining the play could be successful, they’d be discovered and do it Off Off Off Off Bridleway, or even Off Off Off Bridleway - or even Off Off Bridleway! Mistakingly called “Broadneigh” until the final script drafts.
* Rarity listening with Opal outside Sweetie’s door was originally her and Fluttershy still working, and hearing through the walls. Fluttershy used Angel as an example for letting Sweetie Belle cool off overnight, the one cut line from the visual transplant. This is likely a leftover from the outline, where Fluttershy was the only one helping Rarity, had to tug her away from watching the play, and Sweetie Belle waited for them to finish before sabotaging the headpiece. Probably tying in with Fluttershy’s sewing knowledge.
* Sweetie Belle going to the bathroom offscreen and getting the idea to sabotage was a visual revision - it originally is implied to have come much earlier, as she waited until the lights went out before acting. She also has more “trying to get to sleep” gags, like attempting to hypnotise herself with a pocket watch.
* Some bits cuts from the Ghost of Christmas Future scene include two ponies gossips about how far Rarity has fallen (originally Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, later changed to random mares to avoid extra VA fees). Also Rarity inside her boutique, everything covered in spider webs, and her telling a weaving spider to check its work.
* There was a visual bit of the CMC sneaking onto the train, a result of overthought about them not having the money and not normally being able to travel alone as told in “Games Ponies Play”. This was scrapped due to being overthought and unnecessary.
* The CMC originally got in using a stallion’s hammock as a catapult - this was changed to zip-lining, with the window-slamming gag. They originally used a clothes hanger, but Standard and Practises requested this be changed to not be something easily imitated and common around the home. Hence the tail - not many kids have those, as Jayson notes!
* The keep-away chase scene was almost scrapped, but was saved by the need for the CMCs, and massive revisions required elsewhere meaning they didn’t have time to radically revise it. It was trimmed way down to just a few shots as a result.
* The dolphin visual throughout the episode was added at the board stage - originally it only appeared when Sapphire was putting on the headpiece.
[continued below - yes, we need three comments, too much to truncate into two]
[continued from above]
DeleteMore importantly, and rarely for this show - two scenes were completely done over from scratch, as they were previously a muddled mess (they read like many details were in the writer’s head, but not on the page - a problem common to novice screenwriters, but which isn’t common in children’s shows, because they have to make everything crystal clear for their audience anyway).
The first scene was the dream scene of the birthday party. It barely clarified what she missed and what Rarity did that changed her perception of events, and just had many bits that, honestly, only make sense when we know what the final episode did. Thus, Jayson came up with the re-ordered events that play the scene twice, and make it clear that Rarity was simply keeping the guests for the party, and didn’t take undue credit. This required a lot of new dialogue lines, enough that the scene's of the scene (a rarity!), was over 3 pages long - with over half of that being new dialogue. The scolding filly was intended to be Diamond Tiara, but this was presumably changed either because her VA wasn't available for a pickup in time, or to use a VA already in that episode and booked for a session anyway.
The second scene comes with the episode’s ending. The board artists already eliminated a gratuitous cameo by Celestia stopping Sapphire Shores from dismissing Rarity, and having the Royal sisters remark to each other, once everything was fine, that it’s great when sisters patch things up. However, the episode still lacked any real sense of patching things up. Thus - to the tune of more pickups - it was revised to have Luna help Sweetie Belle with the dolphin idea, to have Sweetie Belle apologise profusely, for Rarity’s anger to fade for confusion at the new stitching, only for Sweetie Belle to assure her it would work. The episode’s last five lines, with the dream allusion, proper apology and Sweetie Belle admitting the play wasn’t much good anyway, were also added - it previously ended with only a wide-shot visual of the two embracing as the royal sisters looked on, which felt unrealistic and not satisfying at all. They aimed to avoid the treacle with end gag there - mission accomplished!
OVERALL THOUGHTS
It's hard to explain the original versions of the two changes sequences, but they truly were a muddled mess - anyone coming to it without having seen the episode would be really confused. This wasn't them making it clearer for the target demographic (though that factored in too) - this was just making it better, clearer, more logical and properly thought out for any viewer. You have to admire it, spotting this late but still scrambling to revise it (and quick - they only had a week to get pickups and redo the necessary storyboards before locking the episode). Does it boggle the mind how no one twigged this at the script stage? Sure. But sometimes, things aren't clear until you watch the episode in animatic form. I shudder to think of this excellent episode with that muddled writing. TV schedules allowing for minimal do-overs can be a dangerous thing.
Other then that, all sensible changes, streamlining the piece, making for funny visuals, the works. Eliminating Fluttershy's stressed presence due to her past sewing knowledge almost seems like a blunder, until you remember the rest of the Mane 6 have to be there to account for them missing the play. Sensibly, Twilight was given no lines, as there's no point paying her higher LA-based fee when avoidable (we see this again with Chrysalis's poor Twilight impression in "Frenemies").
Really good revisions! Things like this make me happy to see the dedication at this era of the show, even with Faust long gone.
Side note: Celestia still gets VA credit, but so does Granny Smith, oddly. Possibly some unused improv from Tabitha? She has no lines after the first draft.
After "Twilight Time" was our unofficial Sweetie Belle this season, here comes one with no qualms about hiding it - she's in the title!
ReplyDeleteI do not know if people have often compared this episode to "Sisterhooves Social", but for me, it occupies a relationship to that similar to the one "Flight to the Finish" shares with "Sleepless in Ponyville". Namely, a really good episode featuring a specific CMC member that rarely gets starring roles, which suffers only because the prior episode was one of the greats. Arguably, today's case has a bigger issue, for as fantastic as "Sleepless in Ponyville" is, "Sisterhooves Social" is one of the show's best episodes.
Happily, "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" differs in one key aspect from "Sisterhooves Social" - that episode was mostly Rarity-centric, with the mistakes being on her end. This episode reverses that stance, and this allows for a different kind of plot and perspective. It gives it a lot to say about the particular jealously and envy kids can feel for their older siblings.
When you see an episode like this, you really do have to take Dave Polsky's mission statement from BUCK 2014 of writing more emotionally deep and probing stories as his goal this season, because this nails it. It means the jokes that are present generally do land - I'll sidestep the song titles skit and mention the "I'm not a fan!" "We are!" "Not helping!" bit, the way the CMC switch from casual to anticipating the hype after the play, and much of every exaggerated part of the nightmares, especially Rarity's career devolving - "You know I don't do that anymore!"
Even knowing how impressive the dream scenes were visually, I was still quite wowed - they didn't fall into the trap, as many later-seasons do, of the scale looking out-of-place with the design, and it's all visually pleasing and soothing to the eye. This helps the story - Luna's parallel with Sweetie Belle here truly is the best thing, all the more so for the comparison to Celestia being stated once, and then allowed to inform our perception of the events without being referred to again, trusting the audience to not have it rubbed in (this almost wasn't so - see the production changes above to note how this episode was saved last-minute in many ways!)
It does come back to Sweetie Belle in the end, and for the CMC member that, throughout the series, gets easily the least to do, this is a great showcase for her, with the love-hate elements all truly landing, and lots of great lines on both sides (her apology at the end, with "I don't think the play was all that good. To be honest, the costumes were the best part", that gets me every time). The decontextualisation present in elements like Rarity flashback of panicking over perfection is quite the counter to Sweetie Belle's vision of her sister as being always right and perfect. As the CMC dream mini-arc goes, even if this doesn't quite hit the emotional heights of "Sleepless in Ponyville", it's a really solid, worthy, spectacular episode in its own right. Just about inches into greatness for me!
Side note: I'm going to earn the ire of many for saying this, but this episode makes "A Hearth's Warming Tail" feel even more redundant and flawed. Because this is basically A Christmas Carol, but subtly. That makes it more enjoyable for all those who can only put up with so many straight retellings. Which is a lot. Second, the characterisation is just really strong, more so then for a character made up for the story. And of course, Luna fulfilling the roles of all three ghosts, that's a win, and she excels at all of them. It lacks the songs, but that's about it.
If you must take away something from the above, take away looking at "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" in a different, fresh light, rather then reacting to my take on "A Hearth's Warming Tail".
I don't think there's anything left to say after Mike's posts, so I'll just agree that this is easily Polsky's best episode. :B
ReplyDeleteThis one wasn't a standout to me, but perfectly enjoyable. I'd probably rate it a high 3. I do like the touches that the CMCs are starting to get a bit older, and Luna had a nice involvement in that she really wanted an equitable resolution than just solving Sweetie Belle's problems for her. I thought I remembered this one being a bit on the unpopular side when it aired, but I liked it. Sweetie Belle herself often straddles the line between boneheaded and responsible, which isn't a bad thing. It was a rather mean-spirited thing she did here, though the show has never really been on the side of ponies getting much punishment for all but the most evil mastermind schemes. Though I am surprised Rarity would make something with a single point of failure like that, even going so far as to call special attention to it.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow, flashbacks to my old job in engineering and the number of frankly idiotic choices the designers would propose which sacrificed functionality or even safety in favour of aesthetics.
DeleteThough I guess it is already established that for all her visual brilliance, Rarity has a blind spot when it comes to practicality - the puppet show booth (apologies if we've not reached that yet!), her giant unstable hat, her Breezie-dazzling outfit... So this is kind of a continuation of that theme, I suppose.