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| The rabbit is doubtless Angel's worse-tempered cousin |
S4E18: "Maud Pie"
Written by Noelle Benvenuti
15 Mar 2014
My original rating: 8.5/10 (=★★★★)
IMDb score: 8.8
Thoughts: Noelle Benvenuti's writing debut was a big hit with fans on release, and it's still a lot of fun today. I was very positive about "Maud Pie" in my 2014 review, but I was concerned it might have lost its allure slightly now the element of surprise had been lost. Really, no. Maud is still great value (props to Ingrid Nilson) and here we see Pinkie on the upswing of her yo-yoing portrayal in S4. Why can't she be written like this more often this season? Rainbow Dash is particularly good value, too. And of course, rock poetry. Who could ever forget rock poetry? On the downside, what could have been an audacious and brave moral ("Your friends' friends/family won't necessarily become your friends") was slightly downgraded to a decent, quite satisfying but more kid-cartoon-expected moral. Maud's superequine powers were perhaps a little excessive, too. I really liked the sketch method used when Pinkie was explaining Maud's backstory. Rarity's absurd hat divides opinion, but I found it (mildly) amusing rather than annoying. Boulder is brilliant, but Maud steals this show. This episode will be keeping its four-star rating.
Choice quote: Rainbow Dash: "Is she even moving?"
New rating: ★★★★
Next up is "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils". I remember Sweetie's "dream" episode as being quite solid, though I wasn't quite as taken by it as some were.
I don't like Maud like most of the fandom seem to, so this episode is a dud for me. The story revolves around her, and when her whole point is she's exaggeratedly boring, the whole thing suffers.
ReplyDeleteLike the Boulder deal. I don't get it. Maud's largely so dull and unimaginative that her poetry is just stuff about rocks, so she must know the pet rock isn't actually alive. Yet she acts like it is. It's just an off detail that itches the more I scratch it, like we're supposed to wonder if she's actually crazy enough to believe something so obviously untrue or if she's suddenly some meta-level deadpan troll for this one thing alone.
Then there's the fact the episode is already one of MLP's draggy ones. Then you get the sort of grown-up-but-not-really moral that's definitely out the window once she later becomes a recurring cast member anyway. Then there's the "rocks equals boring" aspect, which as someone who likes e.g. geography and earth science, really gets up my nose as a lazy writing cheat.
I wish I could like this one for its attempt at a more mundane and subtle point, but I think it works too well at making Maud hard to like. She doesn't even have any real flaws. Take out the dull-as-ditchwater angle, which is more to wag the finger at the Main Six anyway, and she's just there. She's even a random late-season retcon.
I don't know if the ep would be better with a different character in Maud's place, but that'd be the first place I'd start looking.
Seconding this. I would really quibble with the assertion that Maud "is still great value", for all that she put in a good show in that one season 9 episode that I liked. This episode is basically the TV equivalent of one of those stories where a character is bored and the reader is trying desperately not to be. I don't get Maud, I don't see why people like her, and I still resent the retcon backstory for the new secret sibling OC. :| Seriously, we mock fanfic writers for doing that.
DeleteI would really quibble with the assertion that Maud "is still great value"
DeleteIn this case, I meant "still great value on rewatching", not "still great value all the way through the series". There are some episodes later on starring Maud that I don't like much at all.
But I'm afraid, Anonymous and PP, I'm not with you on this one. For me this ep didn't drag much at all, and nor did I find Maud herself boring. I'm pretty sure she is doing some of it deliberately, in any case: her expression when she says, "It doesn't talk. It's a dress" makes me think that.
Boring of me to go with the fandom default I know, but on this one I am shamelessly following the crowd! :D
The damming thing is, there's no reason for her to have been a retcon at all. Literally, they could have just used the character model of one of the two Pie sisters from the flashback in "The Cutie Mark Chronicles" for the Pie sister in this episode, and avoided introducing a new one altogether. They don't speak there, you've got free reign as voice goes. No cutie mark either, and with the character aged up, personality, hairstyle and even outfit are fair game. Just have to retain coat, hair and eye colour.
DeleteAnd if someone feels Maud's personality wouldn't match with how the Pie sisters act in that flashback… it's Pinkie's recollection of those events! Of course she's going to remember them as being more giddy and joyful then they might have actually been!
Maud's fine in the right circumstances, but this episode isn't it - after the first few awkward silences, the joke runs old fast. By the time we got to the 3rd one-on-one session, I asked myself "are we seriously doing this with all of them? Not summing them up in a montage, or recollecting them?". It's a shame, because I applaud them for trying a style of humour not nominally for the target demographic (something the folks at the Hub had itchy feet about, as seen below). And I kind of like Ingrid Nelson's performance in small doses. Pinkie is great through this one - yes, she functions much better as a lead then a side character this season - and there isn't a shortage of actually funny or charming moments (brilliant choice for the image header!).
But in the end, I admire this episode more then I actually enjoy it. And the episode getting cold feet about the moral doesn't help matters. Hard to say much else about it. It's not a washout, retcon aside, but if the praise when it came out and its IMDb rating still reflect its modern-day perception… yeah, kind of underwhelming. Don't think I'm not choking on the verdict.
Weirdly, I always associate Maud with the Haber era (like with Trixie), given most of her appearances come from there - only a cameo in "Make New Friends But Keep Discord" and a small ensemble role in "Hearthbreakers" otherwise. So rewatching this was a weird exercise for me. Not as weird as the massive gulf between Discord and Starlight in their respective debut two-parters, as the best villains the show gave us, and their later versions from different eras of the show that don't even feel like the same character(s) - Maud is consistent throughout the whole series - but weird nonetheless.
“Maud Pie” - Production Changes
ReplyDeleteLike "Somepony to Watch Over Me", a new writer, Noelle Benvenuti, wrote the Premise, not just the outline and script. The early Season 4 days of changing writers between the Premise and Outline seems be behind us, though those could have been scheduling conflicts.
Also, amusingly, the episode and character are named "Maude" until animatic feedback, when it was floated to change to "Maud" as they don't usually use proper names for ponies. This explains why some official sources still used Maude, including the 2nd script for "Make New Friends But Keep Discord" (submitted 2 days after "Maud Pie" aired, so they would have been relying on this episode's scripts) - it was changed in later drafts.
PREMISE
Maud's personality is different here - she's described “as eccentric as Pinkie, but her odd fascination and unusual disposition falls on the opposite end of the spectrum”. She’s likened to Aubrey Plaza’s April Ludgate from Parks and Recreation (with Minuette also being likened to Del from that show in the "Amending Fences" script, clearly a lot of people involved with FiM liked that show! As if proof was needed). She's kind and eager to make friends, but her quirkiness causes difficulties, with differences abounding in the one-on-one's, like Maud preferring a spider over woodland animals (there's no rock element yet, as the candy necklaces are just straightforward friendship bracelets). The picnic also serves a different purpose, being Maud's idea to try and bridge the gap for Pinkie's sake, but as she holds it in the Everfree Forest, it goes badly, so it takes the place of the obstacle course. Episode ends on all ponies actually successfully bonding over their love for Pinkie.
You can never really tell from a page-long Premise whether this would have worked, given the vague and wish-washy nature gets smoothed out as the plot develops in the outline, and what is so quirky about Maud isn't fully clear (well, maybe if you're a Parks and Rec fan). But it's interesting for those who feel the episode and character didn't land.
OUTLINE
This outline is ten pages instead of five, though some of that is down to a larger font size. It's generally very accurate though, surprising given the detail. Some gags are different but share the same purpose. The only thing that doesn't survive to the script is right after the others tell Pinkie they haven't bonded with Maud - Pinkie is only sad for a beat, had an idea, and dashes off, coming back just after Maud's returned from fetching rocks (we also saw her leave). Probably done to give a better act break, generate sympathy for Pinkie at her friends not bonding, and show regret on the part of the Mane 5. Makes sense!
SCRIPT
The obstacle course section had a totally different layout originally, with the rock wall being first and Pinkie's demonstration going off fine - it was as the others were reluctantly traversing the course, and Pinkie was plussing it with more ridiculous stuff, that she slipped from a vine and fell towards some sharp rocks, and Maud pounded it to dust (sand in the outline).
The 1st script clocks in at 35 pages, so obviously there's a lot of extra bits. Amazingly, some of it gets cut by the next draft - most of a prelude to Rarity's one-on-one where she muses to Opal about having the right fabric for Maud, some tiny bits from Twilight's scene with Maud, and Fluttershy and Angel waiting for Maud and Pinkie by the cottage.
In the 2nd draft, alongside the usual expected dialogue adjustments, the obstacle course scene is revised to match the episode as we know it. The scene after Maud leaves was also originally in the library, but moves to be the same scene as the previous one here. The early scene in the bakery is also extended, which happens again marginally in the polish draft. Final script is 34.5 pages.
[continued below]
[continued from above]
DeleteANIMATIC & OTHER CHANGES
Based on the finished episode, the following bits were cut from the final script when editing the animatic for time.
* The bakery opening scene received the most dialogue cuts, largely in longer and more a-mile-a-minute spiels from Pinkie, many reiterating the rocky candy necklaces point (many similar lines through the script also got cut too). The picnic setup before Pinkie and Maud arrived was similarly shortened significantly.
* Rarity’s one-on-one with Maud has a short prelude of her with lots of fabric, and then her answering the door for them. She also collapses into her unused fabrics when they leave, musing that the rag Maud took was dirty.
* During Fluttershy’s one-on-one with Maud, after the spider/rock bit, there’s a skit of Pinkie trying to speak Hummingbird, failing, shrugging, and carrying on unabashed. Then a second short scene of Maud lagging behind, as always, and passing over a brown bear in favour of a hole with a snake, though when asked, she says this one doesn’t hold her interest as it doesn’t have the right ratio of spots to stripes.
* Twilight’s one-on one has some trimming (Twilight’s enquiry about whether some poems about about history or magic is shot down) as well as Pinkie popping out to let Applejack know they’ll be late when Maud recites her second poem. The poems were also swapped to save time, so the longer one could be cut off as the scene transitions.
* Some fun visuals added at the boards include Maud having smashed an apple with a rock (originally it was just peeled to the core), her throwing of the rock while with Rainbow Dash to not be shown (makes it funnier) and the animals playing cards in the obstacle course (the script had it as just tickling a sleeping bear and a den of hissing snakes).
The animatic feedback mostly just entailed a couple of pickups for better vocal clarity and a few visual adjustments (one line change to clarify the cider was apple cider), and, naturally, Standards and Practises requiring the chips on the cards table to be removed to eliminate any indication of gambling. And the "Maude -> Maud" idea being floated, of course.
There was one big touchy spot: The Hub felt very unsure about Maud’s flat performance upon seeing the animatic, finding her to come across as borderline braindead. They suggested many things, like a POV section where we hear her thoughts, or exaggeration the cartoony deadpan, varying her cadence, giving an wiry/wispy but forced quality to her voice, some nostril flares/subtle facial expressions, etc. They also asked whether her voice had been sound processed, as it sounded robotic at times. Hasbro and the Hub went back and forth on this and looped DHX into the matter. They agreed to trust DHX, as DHX assured that it would be funny when contrasted against Pinkie’s manic visual actions, and endear the audience to her. Their final request, to make sure kids could get the slow-paced awkward humour not normally present in children’s programming, was to exaggerate the Mane 5’s reactions, which DHX complied with, also saying they would pay attention during the score and sound mix. They thanked Hasbro and The Hub for trusting them.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
The fumbling on Maud's personality in the Premise, and The Hub's massive concerns about her delivery working, are the main takeaways. Otherwise, the cuts and changes are sensible and largely unremarkable, outside of a few occurring at the script stage. Not enough, but I suppose it's better to be on the safe side, don't want to not have enough content? Even though it's well clear, after all these scripts, that 31-32 pages is the ideal length, ensuring it'll be long enough but not requiring too many cuts no matter now dialogue-heavy or light the episode is.
The visual plussing was generally very well done too. Fair play!
I always rather liked this one. Re: why didn't they just use one of the other sisters' character models instead of inventing a new one, I'd say they already had come up with a use for them by then and may have already planned Limestone and Marble's first appearance before this was written. Either way, I'm fine with it. It's not like once you show a throwaway clip once in an episode years ago you have to shrug your shoulders and honor that. In the image you linked, I love how angry the bear gets once he's lost the hand. The only thing I really wish they hadn't later backed down on is essentially invalidating this episode's moral when Maud does become friends with all of them eventually.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the retcon was necessary because one of the chapter books had already explicitly named Marble and Limestone (possibly GM Berrow's work? Whoever it was, they were proud of having the three Pie sisters' initials be M-L-P, which was also ruined by the retcon.
ReplyDeleteBut I love Maud. I think she's terrific, a genuinely wonderful addition. And so that's probably skewed my perception of this, on first viewing and now, but I pretty much love this too.
(oh by the way, it's Nilson with one S)
Typo fixed; thanks!
Deletepossibly GM Berrow's work?
Yes; she wrote all the FiM chapter books. Unless my memory's playing tricks, I remember her mentioning the M-L-P thing at BUCK 2014, where she was a guest of honour.