Ponyfic Roundup 104: Why Me?

The whole Jeremy Whitley FlutterDash thing? I'd prefer not to have any pairings involving the Mane Six, regardless of the gender of their partners. Even Trenderhoof annoyed me; it's refreshing to have a show starring young-adult characters which isn't romantically focused. My headcanon is that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash have a romantic friendship, and that this suits them both very well. New/background pairings? Sure, knock yourself out. But not the Mane Six, please. Right:

Twilight, There's a Ghost in your Basement by KitsuneRisu
This Side of the Mirror by Baal Bunny
Alone With Dark Thoughts by Snakes
S̼̹̫̟͇̱͖͌ͩ̇̅͐̕h̸̬͚̗̿u͓͖̮͐̉̅ͧͪ͟b̰͡-̡̣̈́̈͂C̺̜ͥ̉ͮ̇͡a̱̾ͩ̒ͧ̚͠d͔͕̣̙͗͒̊̎̍ͬ̕u͙̻̪̤̰͖͗͆ͧͤ̕r̴̥̤̩̺̹͍̂͒ͩ̈̒̇̚ͅa̺̳̖̥̦̱͚͐t͍̻̼ͧ̀ͅh̬̭̪͍͙̞̜ͯ̈ͧ̋ͦ̀ by PresentPerfect
When Life Gives You Lemons . . . by trombrony98
Super Trampoline and BABSCon Authors Write Ponies by Super Trampoline et al

★: 2 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0

Twilight, There's a Ghost in your Basement by KitsuneRisu
Twilight, Fluttershy and Spike
Comedy/Drama/Mystery; 9k words; Feb 2014; Everyone

Ghosts belong in books, not in Libraries. Now Fluttershy, Twilight and Spike must make sure it stays that way.

This is the story I was referring to in last week's teaser – for whatever reason, I kept nearly reading it, but then picking up something else. Now I have read it, it turns out to be quite a lot of fun, with good characterisation of both ponies, and there are some delicious turns of phrase – "like a squid on fire" is maybe the best; it works in context, honest! On the downside, Fluttershy is in annoying, and not particularly funny, super-timid mode as though it were still 2011. This is the author's RCL entry; I didn't like it that much, but it's a strong three-star story and certainly worth reading if the setup appeals. ★★★

This Side of the Mirror by Baal Bunny
Cadance, Shining Armor, Crystal Ponies and Other
Slice of Life; 1k words; Oct 2015; Everyone

After learning about their human counterparts in the world beyond the mirror, Cadance and Shining Armor begin to wonder about the pony counterpart of Abacus Cinch.

It's always interesting to see what a really good writer can do in a tight space, and here Baal Bunny shows us a little of the relationship between Equestrian!Cinch and the Crystal royals. I'd love to read more about all the things going on around this scene, but what we do get to see is highly readable. Shining Armor is referred to as "Armor" throughout – mildly distracting, despite the author's explanation. There are several interesting, and rather disconcerting, echoes of certain Earth societies, and the whole thing is just the length it needs to be. Recommended. ★★★★

Alone With Dark Thoughts by Snakes
Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor, OC and Other
Alternate Universe/Anthro/Random/Romance; 2k words; Aug 2015; Mature ("just to be safe")

Grace Husky and Princess Luna are the last people in Equestria.

I really don't know why I RiL'd this one. It's not outright unreadable, but it is hard to tell what on earth is going on. The poor writing doesn't help, and there's a good deal of gratuitous swearing. It feels like a rather uninspired trollfic, but apparently that wasn't the intention. I still have no clue where Grace Husky came from, and the canon ponies are wildly out of character. The author's own verdict – in the long description, no less? "I'm admitting this is Shit, poorly written." ★

S̼̹̫̟͇̱͖͌ͩ̇̅͐̕h̸̬͚̗̿u͓͖̮͐̉̅ͧͪ͟b̰͡-̡̣̈́̈͂C̺̜ͥ̉ͮ̇͡a̱̾ͩ̒ͧ̚͠d͔͕̣̙͗͒̊̎̍ͬ̕u͙̻̪̤̰͖͗͆ͧͤ̕r̴̥̤̩̺̹͍̂͒ͩ̈̒̇̚ͅa̺̳̖̥̦̱͚͐t͍̻̼ͧ̀ͅh̬̭̪͍͙̞̜ͯ̈ͧ̋ͦ̀ by PresentPerfect
Shining Armor, Cadance, Starlight Glimmer and Other
Comedy/Horror/Random; 3k words; Feb 2016; Teen

Sometimes, when you've tried your hardest, there comes a point where you just have to say, "Good enough."

I liked the sound of the genre mix here, though the Lovecraftian title had me thinking, "Not again". For about two-thirds of its length, this ridiculous fic is very good fun, and even its inevitably outdated view of Flurry Heart doesn't spoil that. Unfortunately, that's enough time to fool us. It then degenerates into a blatant trollfic, complete with a real-world running gag that's more annoying than funny. Kept as the surprisingly non-trolly comedy-horror of its first part, this could easily have been a three-star fic, but it really lost me in that last third. Also, that bloody title. Still, despite my deep dislike of trollfics I'll grudgingly give this one a two. ★★

When Life Gives You Lemons . . . by trombrony98
Mane Six, Discord and Mayor Mare
Comedy/Random/Slice of Life; 4k words; Sep 2014; Everyone

Life gives lemons to Ponyville. Hilarity ensues.

I was surprised to see that this was a 2014 story; it reads much more like an old-fashioned, 2012-vintage ensemble piece. Not that there's anything wrong with those (I'd actually like to see more), but a few things do jar, such as the notion of the Apples having a rival family nearby. Although it's nothing special, this grew on me precisely because it wasn't overreaching itself. Just scrapes into the three-star bracket, partly because I like what Applejack says at the end. ★★★

Super Trampoline and BABSCon Authors Write Ponies by Super Trampoline et al
Mane Six, Other and OC
Random; 1k words; Apr 2016; Teen (Sex)

Armed with multiple legal and illegal substances, Super Trampoline enlists the help of various authors at Horizon's author party to write a crappy story about Spike's eighteenth birthday party held at Twilight's castle that has a lot of chaos..

Thank you so very much, person who told me to review this... thing. Anyway: as a way for those who were at the convention to remember what a good time they had and how many gallons of booze (at best) they necked, this is doubtless the height of hilarity. Sadly for the rest of us, it's published, which means that it gets reviewed as a proper story – and as a proper story, it's simply five minutes of my life I could have spent more productively emptying the bins or descaling the kettle. I mean, however smashed you are, spelling "hurdy-gurdy" wrong is entirely beyond the pale. Also, since the demise of BUCK we no longer have any big brony cons in the UK, so I'm feeling bitter and vindictive and need a target to take those emotions out on. This fic is perfect. ★

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Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: Logan will probably still be trying to forget that last story from this week. Alcohol may be less help than usual, given the circumstances.