Ponyfic Roundup 99: You and I in a Little Toy Shop

I'd hoped to enter the latest Writeoff MLP minific contest, but didn't because the chosen prompt ("It's Your Funeral") was the one I least wanted, for a variety of reasons. It's a shame, as half the Writeoffs are now non-pony anyway so pony minific contests don't come around that often. I've entered a small flashfic contest elsewhere instead. What I'd really like, though, is a contest specifically for stories between 1,000 and 2,000 words — a length neither Writeoff format allows — since that's something I enjoy both reading and writing.

Anyway, this is the final two-digit Ponyfic Roundup ever, at least unless I switch to hex. This week there are seven stories under review, to wit:

Going Home by GrassAndClouds2
Help! I'm Trapped in a Shipping Card Game! by Belgerum
Rough in the Diamond by Sharp Spark
Where Did Daddy Go? by UniqueSKD
The Wrong Side of Tomorrow by Pascoite
Hatred would be better... by Gabriel LaVedier
Apple Surprise by Derpator

★: 1 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 3 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0

Going Home by GrassAndClouds2
Sunset Shimmer, Twilight and Spike
Dark/Sad [and Equestria Girls]; 5k words; Sep 2015; Teen

Sunset has a very important question for Twilight

I don't love many Equestria Girls fics, but this one is a real exception. I didn't see the twist coming, which probably helped, although it really needs an [Alternate Universe] tag to get around this Twilight being quite so... what she is. Be warned, though, it earns that [Dark] tag: the general tone of some of the fic even reminds me of the one in the "optional" chapters in the Hard Reset series, if for different reasons. It can't have a five-star rating because it really is too [AU] for a fic that doesn't carry that tag — but it gets a four with some ease. If the mooted sequel is written, I'll read it. ★★★★

Help! I'm Trapped in a Shipping Card Game! by Belgerum
Cheerilee and Twilight
Comedy/Dark/Romance; 3k words; Jun 2014; Teen

What are you doing? Stop scrolling and get me out of here! HELP!!!

Cheerilee is trapped inside Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder. If you don't have any knowledge at all of TSSSF then where have you been? you might find this a little hard to follow, but you certainly don't need in-depth knowledge. This is very silly indeed, which for a fic like this is a decidedly good thing. If you've read xjuggernaughtx's Cheerilee's Thousand then you'll probably feel at home with this one. (Mind you, Fridge Horror: now that TSSSF is officially defunct...) ★★★

Rough in the Diamond by Sharp Spark
Rarity and Rainbow Dash
Slice of Life; 5k words; Dec 2014; Teen

Rarity and Rainbow Dash aren't exactly close. After all, they're very different ponies with very little in common. Or so Rainbow Dash thought. A trip to Canterlot reveals that Rarity isn't exactly the pony that Dash thinks she is.

Although not all that old, this fic is set in the fairly early days of the show, so bear that in mind. How much you enjoy this story will depend on how much you like the central idea: in general terms, a pony fight club. Unfortunately, it's one I don't like at all, and a couple of the details outright disturb me, so I can't enjoy the story as a whole all that much. It's well written, as you'd expect from a Writeoff third-placer, with good characterisation of both Rarity and Dash — but if I had to read a non-[AU] story about ponies fighting, it'd be the IDW comic's wrestling issue, and if it had to be a serious take on the idea, xjuggernaughtx's brutal but excellent The New Crop (PR 82) is better. Only two stars from me, then, but those who don't mind the plot should add at least one star to that. ★★

Where Did Daddy Go? by UniqueSKD
Derpy and Dinky
Sad/Slice of Life; 3k words; Jul 2014; Teen

Derpy Hooves is asked the one question she has dreaded hearing from her daughter.

That question being the one in the title. This is written in a fairly verbose style, with Derpy's dialogue sometimes coming across more as narration. It also has enough tense shifting (especially late on) to be mildly distracting. I must say, I didn't see the answer to Dinky's question coming — the problem is that I'm not sure I really find it believable. There's a sequel (by another author with UniqueSKD's blessing), but like all too many sequels it's enormously longer and still unfinished. ★★

The Wrong Side of Tomorrow by Pascoite
Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo and Spike
Drama; 7k words; Feb 2014; Everyone

Scootaloo only wants to spend her birthday with her idol. Rainbow Dash would normally love to accommodate her, but… she doesn't want to talk about it. So nopony'd better ask.

This Royal Guard fic is an interesting take on Rainbow's relationship with Scootaloo, with very believable characterisation. It's clear from early on that Dash is worrying about something relating to Scoots that will happen soon, but I didn't work out what it was before the reveal. The time between is basically Rainbow/Scoots bonding and not a lot else — which is fine if, like me, you enjoy Rainbow/Scoots bonding, but there aren't really any significant subplots. Once you're put out of your misery, it all falls into place nicely, but it's a tiny bit frustrating waiting for that to happen. That's why I eventually came down on the low side of the three-star/four-star boundary here. (I'm not too fond of Cloudsdale having police officers, either.) When JohnPerry reviewed this story ages ago, Pascoite commented in some detail — it's spoilery, so read it after you've finished the fic. ★★★

Hatred would be better... by Gabriel LaVedier
Apple Bloom, Zecora and Granny Smith
Romance/Sad/Slice of Life; 4k words; Dec 2011–Mar 2012; Everyone

... than the sting of condescension

Apple Bloom is in love with Zecora. This seems to be accepted by the Apple Family, even though Granny Smith is a horrendous racist. There's a passing, unexplained, reference to "Cannonites". Applejack and Rainbow Dash are an established couple. And the spelling "Applebloom" is used throughout (okay, it's an ancient fic). There are some things here that I like, such as an explanation for Zecora's rhyming, but not enough for me to enjoy the story as a whole. A good deal of the confusing stuff is apparently explained by world-building in the author's other stories — but as there's precisely zero indication of this in the story, its description or even an Author's Note, I have to review it as a standalone. Treated on that basis, I can't recommend it. ★

Apple Surprise by Derpator
Babs Seed and Other
Slice of Life; 4k words; Jul 2014; Everyone

Babs Seed gets an interesting letter from Apple Bloom that may change how she views her family.

This was promoted by the not-at-all-partial Bad_Seed_72 and explores how Babs might have reacted to the revelation (in "Pinkie Apple Pie") that the Pies and the Apples may be related. A not-strictly-G4-but-pretty-well-known character is also involved. It's very much [Slice of Life], exploring feelings and thoughts more than deeds, but there's a fairly heart-warming story here. I quite like the interaction between the characters, and if only a little more had actually happened it could have made a four-star rating. A solid three, though. ★★★

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Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: Logan celebrates the series' 100th instalment by reviewing a bunch of obscure stories that hardly anyone has read.