Ponyfic Roundup 461: New Blood Contest winners, part 2

Read it Later story count: 95 (+1)

Words read this week: 21,083

Fresh from my little excursion to UK PonyCon (it's a great convention; do attend next year if you can!) it's back to the everyday "job" as far as MLP is concerned, which is to say reading and writing about fanfic! Today I have the remaining New Blood Contest winners: two more Bonus Prize recipients and the four outright medallists (there was a tie for third place). Off we go...

A Modest Proposal by Jymbroni
A Lovestruck Folly by A whisky man
Pitfalls by heartlessons
One day I am gonna grow wings by TheInfamousFly
A Study in Chartreuse by Serketry
Sabot Élégant's Not So Savory Adventure by Chromentazol

★: 0 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 3 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.

Bonus Prize: "An unusual matchup"
A Modest Proposal by Jymbroni
Fleur de Lis and Minuette
G4; Romance/Drama/Sad; 4k words; Jul 2023; Everyone

When Fleur receives a romantic dinner invitation from her marefriend, any expectations of sharing a lovely meal quickly change into an unforgettable evening for both of them.

Definitely a pairing you don't see often, if at all! The title will doubtless make people think of Jonathan Swift's satire, and I'm sure that was deliberate. I like the characterisation of both ponies here, and there's a nice bit of misdirection with Minuette where for a while you wonder whether the author has just run with an old, old fandom idea from when Minuette was still Colgate. No; it's more interesting and discomfiting than that. Perhaps a slightly underwhelming ending, but the chemistry between the pair makes this a good read. ★★★

Bonus Prize: "The main character’s name and identity is never mentioned."
A Lovestruck Folly by A whisky man
Sombra and [unnamed]
G4; Dark/Drama; 2k words; Aug 2023; Mature (Violence, Death)

A unicorn from the Crystal Empire, enamoured with a high royal, seeks madly for the only gift he deems worthy of her.

We know from the tags that the unicorn in question is King Sombra. What we don't know, at least to start with, is who the royal might be. Doomed love is a pretty fertile ground for storytelling, and I was interested in how things might turn out. Points too for the use of a salt circle in sorcery. The M rating is somewhat cautious. The fic does suffer significantly from its purple prose ("Heinous was the cackle on the periphery of my consciousness") and some "ere goest thou" stuff carried so far as to make getting through it a trial. I think I'd have found the underlying story more intriguing without having to wade through that. ★★

Third Prize (tie)
Pitfalls by heartlessons
Cherry Jubilee and Coloratura
G4; Drama; 4k words; Aug 2023; Everyone

Cherry Jubilee does her time.

A slightly strange shortdesc: no, Cherry isn't in prison! One day, a mare comes into Cherry's shop in Dodge Junction with makeup running down her face. What follows is a really satisfying character study with excellently judged interaction and completely believable actions and words from the principals. A recurring phrase feels natural rather than forced – and the eventual destination of the story feels as though it's been flowed smoothly to the whole way. This is a great example of efficient storytelling, with nary a word wasted. My favourite story of all those I've featured from this contest. ★★★★

Third Prize (tie)
One day I am gonna grow wings by TheInfamousFly
Sunset Shimmer, Sunset Shimmer (demon), Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna
G4 AU; Drama/Mystery/Sad/Second Person/Human; 4k words; Aug 2023; Teen (Sex, Gore, Profanity)

After Sunset Shimmer's redemption, Principal Celestia and Principal Luna have some uncomfortable questions.

Not a collection of tags that would ordinarily make me think I was in for a good read. Despite that, though, this is an eye-catching look at the harsher aspects of Sunset's demon transformation and its aftermath. Not least, where her parents might be... We move between the present day (with Sunset in the teachers' office) and several flashbacks to her fall. The first two of these are great, but the third is really too long. A few too many technical errors, too. However, I found the ending to be satisfying and in keeping with MLP's ethos. A top-end two as it stands, but with some judicious editing it could quite easily be a comfortable three. ★★

Second Prize
A Study in Chartreuse by Serketry
Chrysalis, Changelings, Thorax and Rarity
G4 AU; Drama/Horror/Mystery; 4k words; Jul 2023; Teen (Violence, Death)

Crackle Cosette spends the afternoon at a high-class art gallery. Nothing to see here.

As those character tags will tell you, though, that shortdesc isn't telling us everything. This fic is set during Season 2, with Rarity's visit to a gallery during the montage for "Becoming Popular" a key plot point. We don't see much of this kind of thing nowadays, but it was once fairly common. Some nice world-building here, some of which if I'm not mistaken links to an extent into Chrysalis's FIENDship comic – though you won't need to have read that. I do have slight reservations about the author's comment that this will eventually become part of a larger Extended Cut story, in that it makes this story feel slightly incomplete. But it's interesting enough as it stands to make it into the threes. ★★★

First Prize
Sabot Élégant's Not So Savory Adventure by Chromentazol
Rarity, Big Mac and CMCs
G4; Slice of Life/Second Person; 3k words; Jul 2023; Everyone

A mysterious food critic visits a restaurant.

The overall contest winner is a second-person fic, is shorter than nearly all its fellows. Bearing the dreaded [Second Person] tag is quite a handicap to overcome... so it's impressive that the fic manages it rather well. It's fun to see whether you can work out exactly who "you" (as the critic) are supposed to be – there are some clues sprinkled in there. Arguably this would have worked better as a first person narrative, but the details and texture of the food-related stuff are fun and give a sense of a pony who really cares about getting this right. ★★★

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My original plan was to go straight on to the Thousand Words Contest II winners, but I think I'd prefer not to have so many straight weeks of competition stories. As such, I now intend to have a couple of normal editions of PR first, after which I'll get back to the contest fics. As it happens, there's a Spotlight next time, and a rather unusual one at that. It's an extremely rare example of an unfinished fic getting reviewed here, but oh boy do I have more to say about it than that...

A Mighty Demon Slayer Grooms Some Ponies by D G D Davidson