Tuesday 24 October 2023

Looking back at Sunset's Sales Snag

This is an idea I nabbed from hawthornbunny. Well, I don't exactly expect Hawthorn is the only person to do this, but still. Pick a fic I wrote and write a little bit about it. I couldn't decide which story to choose, so I let the RNG take the strain. And the first on the block is... drumroll, maestro, please... Sunset's Sales Snag. Whew, an interesting one to start with!

SSS is one of my most poorly received fics, with a thumbscore of +18/-7 as I type this and a total of 446 views – not a high total for a story published more than seven years ago. Do I think it's that bad? Well, no. I wouldn't call it one of my finest achievements, but that's another matter. I'm fairly sure I know the biggest reason for all those downvotes, and I'll get back to that.

The fic was written, as it says in the longdesc, as a "bit of silly fluff for Sunset Shimmer Day". On those terms, I think it does all right. Sunset (the normal EqG version) is now 21 and in a dead-end sales job for a cake firm. This is just a convenient setup for some silly – and, by my standards, slightly innuendo-laden – dialogue between her and the slightly creepy man who answers the door.

It's a comedy of misunderstanding. The man believes that a young woman with a name like Sunset Shimmer must surely be involved in a rather... particular branch of the entertainment industry. When she reluctantly reveals she works for the Lyra Heartstrings Company the man feels vindicated. Sunset, meanwhile, is constantly having to bite back sarcastic responses.

What is bad about this fic is that it has a very, very weak ending. It's a one-line gag, and not even a particularly funny one-line gag. I've written feghoots with much better finishes. (As an early Fimfiction comment suggests, it wasn't even my first published version of said last line.) If that had been the reason for those downvotes, I could have had few complaints.

Sadly, the reason is duller: the [Sex] tag. These warning tags were new at the time, and I wasn't sure whether a fic with no actual sex but with significant innuendo needed one. I played it cautious and put one on the fic. Then, of course, a bunch of readers who'd loaded up SSS expecting hot Sunset clop action got annoyed when there wasn't any. I removed the tag, but too late. Oh well.

The humour in this story reminds me a bit of my earlier Kicking Back, which is probably a slightly better fic and is also probably the one to pick if you just want to read one of my stories in this mould. Still, reading the story again now, I still get a few smiles out of it. Even from the utterly shameless "Cakes. Why did it have to be cakes?" line I gave to Sunset

4 comments:

  1. I did really enjoy Hawthorn's look back at his fics, so this was a pleasant surprise! Obviously you're not gonna do this for all 34 fics you've got, not even slightly, but whichever ones make the cut, I'll enjoy it. Today's fic, not one I've read or are likely to read, so I don't mind the spoilers.

    Sunset (the normal EqG version)
    I've read struttingly few fics with non-FiM Sunset. Seeing this fic dates from September 2016, , I am curious. The trend of exploring Sunset's human counterpart we never see: did that peak with the fanfic output peak (Summer 2014) and trail downward since? Was it as its most popular in the wake of Friendship Games, when Sci-Twi became a core character? When you published this fic, mere days before the 4th EqG movie would debut? Or is it one of those things that never really peaked or dipped, but was always just a topic of mild interest in perpetuity?

    Then, of course, a bunch of readers who'd loaded up SSS expecting hot Sunset clop action got annoyed when there wasn't any.
    Ooh, yeah, I've heard this can be a thing. Weirdly, I don't think I've noticed anything like this ratio of dislikes on the fics I've read/reviewed with similarly cautionary Sex warning tags, but possibly that's because Sunset as a character attracts a lot more… interest of the sensual variety than most, shall we say. Perhaps also viewers have gotten more used to the tags being used in a cautionary manner since then.

    Similarly to this, I'm reminded of an old post of yours I found comparing the ranked ratings of all your fics with your own personal ranking, an idea you got after other big names like Horizon, Chris and Estee had done it. Now that was a corking read! Never a bad time for a do-over there, you've written 8 more completed fics since and had a lot of shifts in the ratings of the existing ones. Literally, I checked.

    I've been tempted myself, but at only five fics and rather small rating differences between them (56:2, 43:1, 34:1, 30:1 and 20:1 respectively), it just wouldn't give much to talk about! Maybe when I reach the point of ten fics and a wider range in ratings, it'll be worth it then (excepting the most recent story that's still light on foot traffic and the boost from a future EqD feature, they range from 34.4K to 53.6K).

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    1. I am curious.

      You'll have to remain so until someone with more pertinent knowledge comes along, I'm afraid, as I really don't know. I've never paid a massive amount of attention to EqG stories, and although that's changed slightly recently (helped by my discovering some fine writers in the field, EileenSaysHi for example), back when I wrote SSS I spent really very little of my ponyfic time on them.

      comparing the ranked ratings of all your fics with your own personal ranking

      Yeah, I guess it's possible I might have another go at that at some point, though as ever don't hold your breath. Checking just now, though, I see that Sunset's Sales Snag is rated rock bottom of all my fics. I certainly wouldn't put it there, even if I wouldn't place it especially high either.

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  2. I've certainly also been a victim of having a story (relatively) savaged because I put a tag on it in an abundance of caution.

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    1. Yeah, the warning tag system on Fimfiction isn't really that helpful, especially when someone plasters the [Narcotics] tag on a piece simply because a pony has wine with a meal.

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