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| I hadn't noticed before how ridiculously tiny this train's wheels are |
Written by Meghan McCarthy and Ed Valentine
25 Jan 2014
My original rating: 7.5/10 (=★★★)
IMDb score: 7.9
Thoughts: A Discord episode, okay. A Twilight and Cadance episode, ooh. That was my thinking before this rewatch. Sometimes things don't work out quite as you imagine... Fluttershy is packed off to see the Breezies – of whom more in a few eps' time – and indeed the other Mane Sixers play rather minor roles. (A good thing in Pinkie's case, as she's embarrassingly characterised at times here, classic film reference notwithstanding.) Instead, it's Discord and his "blue flu" that take centre stage as he winds and twists in much the kind of ways you tend to expect by this point. Twi and Cady bonding on their unexpected adventure is a very nice aspect of the story, and the Tatzlwurm (never named in the episode) is a different if odd and rather unexplained opponent. However, the dialogue is sometimes unmemorable for a Discord episode, and even the draconequus's patter song – fun visually, but no classic – can't really make up for it. The term "quality time" is also repeated far too often here, enough to become annoying. I actually find myself enjoying this a bit less than I did in 2014. Again, startlingly for a Discord ep I found it almost dull at times. A high-end two may not be a terribly popular score, I suspect, but... yeah. Afraid so.
Choice quote: Applejack: "Go on, have a hootenanny with your kinfolk."
New rating: ★★
Next up is "Pinkie Pride", which is a great episode. You know that already, I know that already. Looking forward to it very much!
What a boring, nothing episode. Cadance is dull, Discord's annoying, the 'song' sucked, the plot doesn't start until about the halfway point. All it really did was add to Star Swirl's mythos, and even that didn't stick around in any meaningful way. :|
ReplyDeleteOkay, not repeating the "Rainbow Falls" fiasco from last week. This time, I'm only commenting after having rewatched the episode.
ReplyDeleteI think I liked this a bit more than you, but only in a splitting hairs sort of way. And Present Perfect hit the nail on the head with… actually, most of his points, but especially the plot not starting until almost halfway through (Discord appears to Cadence and Twilight at EXACTLY the 10-minute mark of a 22-min episode), when it should really be reached at the first act break.
It's quite striking how padded the two prior sequences - everything prior to Discord's arrival, and then him just mooching about with the Mane 4 - turn out. Some condensing there could have allowed the middle third to actually have some more meat to it. Instead, it's basically just, "Discord surprises the other two, sweet-talks them into taking him back to Twilight's place, has his song, and then - meep, running out of time, got to set the stage for the Act III fetch quest!". Which is a pity, because Discord and Twilight butting heads is easily the best card this one has to play, and there's not nearly enough of it. It's probably this lopsided pacing that results in the less-then-memorable dialogue you point out here, Logan, what with a condensed middle.
Thankfully, the episode does pick up a lot more steam in that final third. The Tatzlwurm is a really nicely-designed monster (doubly so for being portrayed like a Graboid), and the fight against it quite fun, as action scenes against monsters in this series go. Though I oddly remembered it being longer than the minute and a few seconds it actually occupies.
A few other points to discuss. The problem with Cadence, I find, stems from the fact that, even discounting her inclusion back in Season 2 coming from Hasbro, she was designed around the plot of that two-parter (this goes further: Britt McKillip was cast on her ability to play Chrysalis-disguised-as-Cadance, so after that episode, the character's personality doesn't give her much room to work with), as opposed to from a character standpoint first. Not a good place for even a semi-recurring character to be. She's sweet and nice, and has her intelligent moments, and that's kind of it. Her desire to have some quality time (that phrase IS overused) doesn't give much to work with - it says a lot that her confession at the end about enjoying some excitement is among the most characterisation we'e had for her thus far (this IS her first non-two-parter, as a reminder).
The patter song was a little duller then I'd expected (might have to adjust my ranking there!). I still enjoyed it, and the visuals are delightfully wacky, but it's kind of just there. Much like the episode itself - superficially entertaining, but kind of broken and more dull then a Discord episode has any real right to be.
One last thing: this episode doesn't contribute even superficially to either the seasonal arc, or Discord's, or Twilight's with him, or anything. In the grand scheme of Season 4, its purpose seems to be just "oh yeah, this character exists, and he's by and large the same sly jerk/trickster he's always been". The balancing act with his behaviour in tis one is a tightrope then it just barely avoid falling off, and just barely - for as many moments that work, others of his fall off into the Chasm of Annoyance.
And you hit the nail on the head as to why Cadence doesn't work as a character. :D I always said, her main trait is just that she's nice, full stop. Even her interesting backstory from the novels doesn't improve upon that. The only conflict she ever has to deal with is some evil outside force coming to take what's hers. She's just as dull as this episode.
DeleteThough I would be remiss if I forgot that this episode is actually where we get the first mention of Abyssinia (where the cat-people of the movie and comics originate from), mangled though the word is for the sake of meter in the middle of the 'song'.
I've always found the use of "Abyssinia" a bit strange, given that it's a real-life place name. (Or at least it was; it's the former name for Ethiopia.) I'm not sure what they might have used instead, but nevertheless.
DeleteI always figured it was a case of "oh, let's name this place after a breed of cat!" with them never considering what the cats were named for in the first place.
DeleteThat said, the above presumption requires further presumption that they had planned for there to be a land of cat-people back in season four. And that would be giving the show runners far too much credit.
Yeah, PP has the right of it I think. (Historogeographically ignorant writers.) It's too bad, because Abyswhinnya is a no-brainer.
DeleteA major problem with Discord episodes from S3 on is how many of them turn out to be go-nowhere exercises. I contend he can still be an amusing enough jerk to make up for it, but given what a knockout concept it is to try to reform a spirit defined by his antithetical nature to peace and order, these episodes miss a lot of opportunities.
ReplyDeleteElsewhere... Can we agree that Fluttershy was a delight in the opening scene? Enthusiastic Fluttershy is a sight to warm the soul.
Can we agree that Fluttershy was a delight in the opening scene?
DeleteWe can. We most certainly can.
You'll want to read these script changes for Three's A Crowd - there's a few doozies in here!
ReplyDeletePREMISE
Meghan McCarthy wrote this, which has an identical setup, but being light on detail, lacks any blue flu element, and is largely about Discord just wanting to crash at Twilight's for a few days. Her friends try to keep him busy, but he insists on joining the two Princesses, leading to (I'm inferring here) hilarious slip-ups during their bonding time around Ponyville. But Cadance has a great time anyway, thanks to Twilight being so thoughtful and giving, and through making an unexpected new friend in Discord.
I think had they kept Twilight's friends trying to keep Discord busy to AFTER he starts bothering the two Princesses, not before, that could have somewhat fixed the final episode's pacing. As for the rest, could have been better, but given the episode's issues stem from script execution anyway, hard to say.
OUTLINE
Mostly just incidental differences by now (like the planned activities being many things, starting with a spa date - the Breezies are also pony-dragonflies, changed later to foreshadow the Key episode). Discord also didn't know Fluttershy was out or Cadance was visiting until told so, changing his motives a bit. At the very end, Discord himself points out that Cadance got a better time, to which Cadance agrees, then Twilight. Oddly, because Twilight deactivates the health bubble once Discord is caught to be faking, his allergies to the Tatzlwurm cause him to sneeze on Twilight, making them both sick. Thus, the coda has her in bed with the snuffles, barely able to dictate to Spike for the friendship journal as the disease reverses one's speech. Discord is also sick too, but delights in the attention and the personal chaos he's caused.
That was scrapped because, I'd wager, all parties judged it totally unfair to see Twilight punished when she was under Discord's abuse all episode.
SCRIPT
It takes until Draft #2 for Discord to already know about Fluttershy being out of Cadance being in town. Otherwise, the 1st draft has some scenes shorter, notably both Discord and Cadance's explanations after the creature fight. All these bits are added into the 2nd draft - from that point on, it's just the usual dialogue adjustments, and a few cuts (one such bit being Rarity enquiring if the book with the Star Swirl spell Twilight finished and ascended with will be on display, which Twilight confirms - Hasbro not wanting too many callbacks?), until by the final locked polish draft, there's various snippets cut from the animatic.
Oh, wait, no, there's one element which changes with every script. The Tatzlwurm fight. In the 1st draft, it was largely as in the final episode, with some different specifics in the fight. In the 2nd draft - it speaks. Yes, it speaks. What's more, its characterisation changed drastically with each draft, until by the 3rd Polish (normally there aren't that many), it reverted to no dialogue. I'm guessing Meghan, Hasbro or others were constantly second-guessing themselves. Here's how he was in each draft:
2nd Draft: Presented as a laidback hippy with a head cold. Initially, he's okay with them disturbing him by accident, but after word gets back to his guys that could ruin his rep (his words, not mine), he attacks them. The fight is longer due to his banter with them as a result. It also apologies for sneezing on Discord later.
Polish V1: No longer a hippy. Instead, it's got the snuffles, and attacks for bringing Blue Flu germs with them. When Twilight yells they didn't because the magic health bubble keeps them protected, it wants it, and doubles its attack attempts.
Polish V2: It speaks like a caveman now, half the time referring to itself by name (Vermal). It's annoyed they disturbed its beauty sleep, and thinks their story is just a cover-up so it'll leave them be. Therefore, speaks less during the fight.
[Notes continued below]
[Continued from above]
DeleteYeah… that was kind of weird, seeing THAT many iterations of character for what is, plot-wise, a throwaway monster. I'm all for funky experimentations, but I can't help but think any of the above would have felt/looked out of place (I can't even imagine where the voice would come from on the creature, but that was designed after the dialogue was cut, to be fair). I'll let you all form your own conclusions on this Tatzlwurm business.
Oh, amazingly, the song for this was practically unchanged from the 1st draft (Ed provided lots of musical suggests for Daniel in the script as to what she had in mind). At best, half-a-dozen lines were altered after the 1st draft.
One other point of note: Meghan starts being credited for writing the episode alongside Ed by the polish drafts. Either Ed was too busy and she was actually handling it by then (which was mostly constantly iteration the Tatzlwurm's characterisation and dialogue, with a few other tweaks throughout), or she always does this but did it more then usual here, and because she was the Story Editor, came up with the Premise, and had a lot of clout, got the dual-credit. The policies of writing credits are a dubious affair.
ANIMATIC CUTS
After last episode, we're back to mostly just random assorted moments cut for time. Here's all the notable ones:
* Pinkie’s early excitement about the patio furniture turns out to be about the fact of a free flyer, not the patio itself.
* Rarity offers to comb Twilight’s mane down before Cadance comes.
* When Twilight remarks on the last times Cadance has been around, we get one-shot flashbacks to her pair of two-parters.
* Cadance and Twilight do their Sunshine chant after the bow and the joke afterwards. She also remarks on how she’s still not used to Twilight’s height (implied to be regarding how much she’s grown from when she foal-sat, as well as her ascension), as well as looking forward to some “Equestria’s-not-in-danger” moments.
* In the marketplace, a pony selling apples flees before Discord can sneeze on him.
* Both Twilight and Cadance shoot down Discord’s plea to be carried to bed.
* Back at the library, Spike walks in on Discord in bed and instantly bolts.
* After the song, Twilight excuses herself to scream behind the room’s door before returning too.
* The pair levitate Discord on a couch, rather than physically pulling him on a giant chariot.
Virtually no cuts in the rest of the script! This is acknowledged in the animatic notes, as Act II was so long, they moved the act break from the Tatzlwurm reveal to just before they set out for the flower. The other thing worthy of note from the animatic emails is a visual gag involving the balloon in Pinkie’s mouth being a big no-no for Standards & Practises (it’s one of the way children choke, as pieces can lodge in their throat when it pops). Otherwise, there’s a couple of visual/aural decisions made to imply tone better without getting picks ups from John de Lancie, as the animatic has to be locked for animation before his recording session for “Twilight’s Kingdom”, the only time they’d be able to get any pickups.
THOUGHTS
Well, the different direction in the Premise is thought provoking, but I really can't say if it would have been any better (though the pacing fix I mentioned would have certainly helped), given this's episodes issues come from script execution. Some good calls along the way, like cutting Twilight getting sick and thrown under a bus (okay, I guess it would have been funny…). After that, just the usual assortment of added bits, dialogue adjustments, and little comic bits cut at the animatic to fit 21 minutes. But the episode's main issues were cemented at the outline.
Oh, and they tried fooling around with a characterisation and voice for the Tatzlwurm in several different ways before relenting back to a speechless monster. Honestly, I'm more weirded-out by that then anything.
Vermal.
Deletec.c
Huh.
I never liked much about this ep. It's just boring, but it brings up an interesting thing writers can struggle with.
ReplyDeleteI occasionally encounter stories where the author wants to convey that the character is bored (often as a result of depression, but sometimes just plain old boredom) and uses very dull descriptions and plodding language to get the reader in the character's mindset. Surprise, surprise when this just ends up being boring to read. Getting the reader to feel things along with the characters is good, but there are limits. Scaring them away by making them think the whole story will be boring isn't a good idea, so the author has to find a way of making that boredom interesting. Not an easy task.
The link here, of course, being that writing an annoying character in a way that does nothing but annoy the viewer just makes the viewer annoyed at the show. You have to thread that needle in a way that the annoyance is still entertaining.
This episode did not accomplish that.
I think that's my real problem here: whatever else Discord may be in any given setting, the one thing he should not be is boring.
Delete