Read it Later story count: 91 (-3)
Words read this week: 45,884
It's been ten Roundups since we had a Spotlight looking at a longer story, so let's fix that right now. I'm sure the author of today's fic needs no introduction if you aren't absolutely new to ponyfic, but I will say here that this is the sequel to the much shorter and explicitly [Comedy]-tagged A War of Words - the Opening of the Guard. I read and liked that one a long time ago (PR 49!) and you should probably have read it too before starting on this sequel.
The Night Guard - Night Mares by Georg
OCs, Celestia and Luna
G4; Slice of Life; 46k words; Nov–Dec 2024; Everyone
For centuries, the stallions of the Royal Guard have protected Equestria from every danger imaginable. Now they face a new threat to their position that will not be so easy to defeat. Mares.
This story has inevitably dated somewhat since 2014 since in more recent years Royal Guard mares have become established canon. You really have to accept that this isn't so as the fic begins, and accept that it's still so in the matriarchal world of Equestria, otherwise much of the story doesn't work. Of course, you could imagine that the events described here are what led to these changes! Anyway, four mares are attempting to become the first female Royal Guards, and Luna in particular is very keen to see them succeed. In the background and steadily becoming more significant are the events of the S3 premiere up in the Crystal Empire. This is quite a fast-paced story, with a fair amount squeezed into under 50,000 words, but wasn't a dealbreaker for me. The four candidate mare OCs are quite good fun, though I became rather tired with an overused running joke about one of them lactating (she has a young colt, and he plays a significant role later). It's also one of those stories where I occasionally wonder about that [Everyone] rating, but don't quite object to it. A high three. ★★★
Naturally, from here on in there are spoilers aplenty!
I can see why Georg chose not to give this story a [Comedy] tag as well as the [Slice of Life] one, although I don't think I'd have had much to object to if he had tagged it with both. It's more of a light piece than an out-and-out laugh-fest, with most of the amusing moments coming as a result of everyday (for Guards in this situation) events. For example, I loved the explanation of what "Pingers" stood for (you'll have to read!) and later in the fic Celestia is a great balance between regality and utter tease. On the other hoof, as already mentioned, the running joke about Thermal being known as "Milkmaid" and why she was nicknamed that got boring fast.
Since I've mentioned her, I'll pause to consider the OCs in general. There are four female cadets, who unsurprisingly get the lion's share of the attention. I was pleasantly surprised by Banehammer, who on first appearance seemed likely to be a one-note-joke of a character but in fact grew on me quite substantially as the story went on. The other OCs aren't bad either, though Rose in particular was rather anonymous and not used that memorably. (Grace was fine.) I found the way Kudzu's accent was written – mostly standard but with the odd "sur" – really quite distracting. Commander Snowy Peaks was relatable, and I occasionally detected whiffs of Discworld's Vimes in his character, which is a good thing.
For all I was a bit irritated by the milk jokes, Thermal's actual foal, the colt Standing Water, was a really nice character. I could probably have done without him trying to suckle from Princess Celestia, but then I expect she would have preferred that too! I'm glad Celestia dealt with that so efficiently; I would have expected nothing less from her. When Standing Water went missing late in the story, everypony swung into action in a way that demonstrated pretty effectively that the new mares had become an integral part of the team. That brought the story (bar a kind of epilogue) to a suitable conclusion – there is mention of a sequel in the final Author's Note, but either that was a joke or something happened, as said sequel doesn't seem to exist.
Princess Luna was good value whenever she appeared, as she often is when she's going a little against the grain of long-established protocol. Again, you do have to accept that the whole idea of having mares in the Royal Guard is considered strange, which from a 2025 perspective takes a little effort, but it's doable. PaulAsaran opined that it felt weird that, a long way into the story, Celestia apparently decided that Luna's battle to get mares accepted as Guards was in trouble and that she (Tia) would have to intervene. I am of the same opinion. By that time, as Paul also pointed out in his review, there'd clearly been quite a bit of evolution in the establishment's feelings towards their recruits.
The canon event which grounds the in-story chronology of Night Mares is the return of the Crystal Empire and the rise of King Sombra. I think this was pretty nicely done in terms of keeping the reader abreast of events while not bogging down the story too much. The things we're told don't necessarily mesh precisely with the events we know transpired, but that's a good thing as the Guards in Canterlot would be hearing rumours and perhaps slightly garbled reports as well. I was a little disappointed that the new Guard mares didn't actually do anything in the fight against Sombra, but I can see the reasoning behind not turning this into an action adventure.
Something I always mildly dread as a Brit reading a military(ish) story by an American is the appearance of Sgt Hartman (he of Full Metal Jacket) training routines, since these are very American and so don't come across as "general military", if you like. Fortunately, this story keeps a reasonably tight rein on those, and adds in some fun and appropriate use of magic for things like armour. The exception for me was "Ten-HUT!" since that particular shortening is American. (I mean, the real military might do anything, I wouldn't really know, but in fiction using that term rather than "Ten-SHUN!" feels like very much a US thing.)
Some other bits and pieces that crossed my mind. There's some satisfying background world-building, for example about the place of "Nocturnes" (Georg's term for Luna's batponies), or on historic relations between ponies and griffons. Even though some of it was overtaken by canon from S5 onwards, it still works in this story. There's the occasional oddly harsh moment, such as a brief mention of Thermal having been raped in the past. And on a technical note, the story has footnotes. Usually done iisaw-style with the text after the paragraph, which works well, but occasionally and for no obvious reason left much later.
As you'd probably expect, I'll be returning to the more common format of five short fics next time around. Here's what I'll be waffling on about next week:
Remember Vigil by Golden Paw
Interloper by Raugos
One of Them by ThePinkedWonder
Filly à Deux by UmberRose
A Charmed Life by BlazzingInferno
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