Read it Later story count: 92 (-2)
Words read this week: 31,201
First up, I must warn folks that I will be at Worcester hospital next Wednesday having lasers fired into my eyes. (No, really. It's not Twilight's fault.) As such, I doubt I'll be in much of a frame of mind to respond to stuff on here when I get home. There will be a Roundup on 5th June, but comments may take a little while to get read. I won't know until a little after then whether there'll be a PR on 12th June or whether I'll take a week off. Right; back to today!
The Root of the Problem by BlazzingInferno
One Storm at a Time by Impossible Numbers
The Afterparty by Honeypelt945
Tracks in the Sand by DwarvishPony
As the Sun Sets, Twilight Covers. by Pickleless
★: 1 | ★★: 0 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 2 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.
The Root of the Problem by BlazzingInferno
Rarity and Spike
G4; Romance/Comedy/Drama; 6k words; Mar 2018; Teen
Rarity is turning into a plant, which proves to be the least of her troubles.
This fic won the Rainbow Dash Award (for coolness) in EFNW's Scribblefest 2018 contest. The setup is silly but funny: a mix-up between tea and fertiliser means Rarity has drunk a potion that turns her into a plant. Poor Spike is worried sick and badly wants to save her, and so takes desperate measures. I'm not massively keen on elements of this Sparity angle, since a slightly icky joke is played rather too long for my liking, but things do work out in the end. Starlight plays a supporting role and is, bluntly, a little obnoxious (possibly influenced by Trixie), so YMMV on that angle. Overall, though, horizon's comment of "Fun little story" is my takeaway as well. Worth a three. ★★★
One Storm at a Time by Impossible Numbers
White Lightning, Cloudchaser and Other
G4; Drama/Slice of Life; 8k words; Aug 2018; Everyone
White Lightning doesn't think like other ponies. Heck, she doesn't even speak; she's happy enough quietly hiding in the background. So when an overambitious boss tries to organize a spectacular storm, she's not exactly well-equipped to deal with it…
This is one of Impossible Numbers' less viewed stories (687 views at review time) but perhaps that would suit its protagonist. White Lightning doesn't speak in the show, and IN has given us the very interesting idea of not only making her mute, but an introvert to boot – and then by way of contrast, putting her right in the eye of the storm. Actually more than one storm, given how her seriously aggravating boss (no, it's not Rainbow Dash) carries on. I was certainly cheering for White and her quietly determined way of dealing with her limits before long, though perhaps it's slightly obvious – at least in broad terms – where the story is going to end up. Solid stuff for a cloud-based fic and a top-end three. ★★★
The Afterparty by Honeypelt945
Mane Six, Celestia, Thunderlane, OC and Other
G4; Romance/Comedy; 4k words; Oct 2015; Everyone
All the fighting is over, and it`s time to party!
According to the longdesc,¹ the party is to "celebrate Nadine's return". And who, you may well ask, is Nadine? Therein lies a big problem with this fic: I think it's an unmarked sequel to The Third Sister, but there's no indication you need to read that so I didn't. As such, I was totally confused by the setup, not least the presence of an alicorn named Starlight – who it turns out isn't Glimmy but somepony else. Calling her sister "Shaun" is an... interesting decision, too. Mind you, so was "Nadine" unless that was set up in story one. It's a shame, as the writing itself is serviceable with occasional flashes of something more (actually giving Blueblood a plus point, for example). A pretty easy two stars if you have the background, but since I don't it makes no sense and so I can't give it more than one. ★
¹ Still having "I`ll fix this description later" in there after nine years is perhaps sub-optimal...
Tracks in the Sand by DwarvishPony
Pinkie, Sunset and Gummy
G4 EqG AU; Drama; 10k words; Nov 2017; Teen
Pinkie Pie discovers friendship amidst the ruins of Canterlot.
This is the author's RCL entry, so I went in with high hopes. Happily, they were satisfied. The story takes place in the same post-apocalyptic universe as Pieces of Me (PR 486) and this one is also very good. Pinkie is really well characterised, utterly believable both as the girl caught in this strange and awful situation and as, well, Pinkie. She meets Sunset Shimmer and befriends her, not entirely without difficulty. Yes, the latter is trying to return to Equestria – a hope which brings one of the fic's harsher and more eye-catching scenes. As with Pieces of Me, this isn't for you if you want blazing guns and wild action. If you're after fascinating character development and a look at how even Pinkie can be damaged by this damaged world, you've got it in spades. The ending is perhaps (emphasis mine) not the happiest, but this will stick in your mind. PaulAsaran really liked this. Ghost Mike really liked this. And with apologies for following the crowd, Logan really likes this. ★★★★
As the Sun Sets, Twilight Covers. by Pickleless
Celestia and Sunset
G4; Sad; 3k words; Apr 2021; Teen (Profanity)
Celestia converses with Sunset through the journal, shortly after she runs away.
Here's a story with a full stop in the title, a glaring error in the longdesc ("who's" for "whose") and coloured text – and yet it's still great. Indeed, for once the coloured text enhances the experience. If you don't believe me, here's Rune Soldier Dan. And yes, those character tags are correct: Celestia is impersonating Twilight. The exchanges between the two repay close attention and give a fascinating extra dimension to the history between them after Sunset's banishment. Now sure, "Celestia working on somepony else while blaming herself" is a very common trope in ponyfic, but this story makes it seem fresh and new. It also uses the journal format really well. There's a lot of meat here for a sub-4k story, but it's worth reading twice anyway. ★★★★
Five more stories next week, and those will be these. As you'll see, it's a pretty heavyweight roster I've got in front of me this time!
Seasonal Shift Day by darkcyan
There's an Ocean Outside Your Front Door by paperhearts
Singles Combat by MrNumbers
I, Opaline by Rune Soldier Dan
We Are All Made From Silence by Lucky Dreams
Interesting Fic Fact: I wrote "One Storm at a Time" partly in reaction to reading a prior writeoff candidate, "Severe Weather Appreciation Week". That was a fic towards which I held a Certain View in the resulting reader... controversy, shall we say?
ReplyDeleteMany of the design choices should make more sense in light of that starting point, right down to selecting Cloudchaser as a co-star.
-Impossible Numbers (sorry, having to improvise at the moment)
I have read Severe Weather Appreciation Week, assuming it's the Cold in Gardez fic we're talking about. Looking back to my review in 2018 I liked it a good deal (four stars) but I will admit that I can't remember much at all about it. Maybe I should re-read that and your fic in sequence. Thanks for the insight!
DeleteAh, there we go! Back on the regular system with the proper name-linked comment.
DeleteSo as I was saying: yep, the very CiG fic. Although "One Storm at a Time" ended up evolving in development beyond that initial seed, it definitely inherited the general "fixfic" mentality I went in with (to the point I'm astonished no one else ever commented on it before... but then again, it's an obscure fic).
Let me test my memory for a moment...
The main controversy as I remember it was Rainbow's behaviour (at least, in the version I read), which came across as pushy, self-centred, and extremely inconsiderate of other ponies' input given the context (even if no one was at risk of harm, property damage seems like a reasonable issue, and geez she actually has a "gotcha" moment when pushing her case). So part of my fic was basically a version where the implications of that were addressed, but from another angle.
White Lightning I'd actually used and developed in a fic before this one, so this was a chance to put her through her paces again (the mute thing was an invention of that prior fic). But this version of her fit the bill for my purposes because she's basically the anti-Rainbow Dash here: obscure both in-universe and out, inward-looking where Rainbow Dash is outward, quiet and behind-the-scenes where Rainbow is the loud main attraction. The fic sorta developed from there based on my own vested interest in the introversion-extraversion contrast of psychology (a personality topic that I take a personal interest in, but I digress), exploring how that expressed itself on both sides.
Cloudchaser was obviously the Flitter contrast: not romantically involved (I couldn't care less about the romance), and not an automatic cheerleader. More to the point, I kinda needed someone to act as occasional "translator" and "wingpony" for White Lightning, but who wasn't as driven or invested in the plot and acted as a halfway house between White's marginal (and sometimes overcautious) view and that of the average pegasus. She's a little more "everymare" here than I'd likely write her these days, but on the other hand I do like how she still provided a sort of "Watsonian" second perspective to White Lightning's "Sherlock".
Crafty Crate was pretty much codified here (he's the jerk cherry-seller from "Putting Your Hoof Down"). I took a lot of inspiration from the "sitcom archnemesis" style of classic Disney character Pete from e.g. Goof Troop and various Disney shorts (partly because I thought his portrayal in the Fluttershy ep even sounded a bit like Jim Cummings' performance). He was meant to represent the dark and extreme end of extraversion: big, booming, loud, craving attention no matter what (of the "no such thing as bad publicity" kind), a control freak, and a little man always looking for more power and pushing against authority. The sort of guy who couldn't stand being in a lowly desk job and loves holding self-righteous power over others, loudly and obviously and with no comprehension for doing things anyone else's way. (Also, I just couldn't bring myself to besmirch Rainbow Dash, as despite her more annoying show moments, I still really like at least her concept and best elements).
DeleteProbably my favourite inclusion is Mayor Laurette, who wasn't identified as a mayor in the show (she appears in "Games Ponies Play" in Rainbow's flashback revealing that the Games were not going to be held in Cloudsdale, but in Fillydelphia), but who filled a gap I needed in my worldbuilding pegasus society. Her limited show appearance gave her a quiet yet commanding voice, and that's basically what I went with: an introvert in power, the sort of pony White could look up to, who without sacrificing her quiet command nevertheless can keep a rowdy, overblown pegasus under control. Plus, I kinda needed a bureaucratic authority for the verisimilitude of real-world health and safety guidelines, without just being a stereotypical killjoy. Given my great interest in Cloudsdale and pegasi, I'm really pleased to have nailed a major political figure for future story efforts in that domain.
I won't go into too much detail for fear of spoiling the whole thing for anyone else, but even though it didn't do well in the writeoff (one likely reason being that in my stubbornness to do this, I pretty much paid little to no attention to the actual prompt, which didn't help my case), I'm glad the fic ended up as a catalyst for both psycho-thematic and world/character-building reasons.
Also...
"one of Impossible Numbers' less viewed stories (687 views at review time)"
Checking my general output... I'd say that's about par for me?
he's the jerk cherry-seller from "Putting Your Hoof Down"
DeleteYep, that I got, and I liked the idea of using him in this new role. Oh, and another thing I didn't have room for: I like the depiction of Cloudsdale. I've never really clicked with the idea that it's some ethereal beauty of a place. To me it's a grittier city which happens to have some fantastic architecture. As a vague analogy, consider some of northern England in its Victorian heyday. Huddersfield has the most fantastic railway station, for example.
Checking my general output... I'd say that's about par for me?
I guess so, but less viewed isn't least viewed. You've got quite a few fics with view counts well into four figures, as you covered in your own blog recently.
"Yep, that I got, and I liked the idea of using him in this new role."
DeleteOh, of course you got it. Fluttershy was involved. Of course! :D
"Oh, and another thing I didn't have room for: I like the depiction of Cloudsdale. I've never really clicked with the idea that it's some ethereal beauty of a place. To me it's a grittier city which happens to have some fantastic architecture. As a vague analogy, consider some of northern England in its Victorian heyday. Huddersfield has the most fantastic railway station, for example."
It's grim up high, aye. Cloudsdale's industrial trappings would be a pretty good angle to explore, especially since you could comment on the craftsponyship versus mass production angle of weather management.
One other thing I will mention as a criticism of my own work is the pacing. I really struggled with word limits in the writeoff, and in this case I think I ended up squeezing the back half of the fic too much. I could definitely see myself expanding on it and lingering on particular plot points more and more (the very last scene of any writeoff fic of mine generally suffers the most). I wonder if that impacted your view of the fic slightly?
"I guess so, but less viewed isn't least viewed. You've got quite a few fics with view counts well into four figures, as you covered in your own blog recently."
It's a relative thing, but point taken. I haven't crunched the numbers needed to pin it down precisely. "Below 1k views" is the normal outcome for me.
Two strong four-star fics, nice! One paragraph is hard to do justice to something like Tracks in the Sand (you don't even mention it's in a desert world of near-perpetual sandstorm), but you capture enough to get folks curious to read it and see. Meanwhile, Twilight Covers. uses it gimmick greatly and by the end, has made Celestia blaming herself for what is mostly others' failings feel fresh again.
ReplyDeleteAnd another hefty supply next week! Two fics I gave a Really Good to (one of which made the top cut of iisaw's Best bookshelf, if it needs more praise), and another that was a very strong Pretty Good. You'll have a solid arsenal to cheer you up in the days leading up to the lasers in the eyes, if nothing else.
Indeed, my potted reviews are limited in that respect over the longer assessments people like you and PaulAsaran provide. On the other hand, it's an interesting challenge to get enough into one para to make people think they'd like to know more -- and it's slightly easier to avoid spoilers, maybe!
DeleteTrying to remember if I've read another story that uses coloured text that well. The Cloptimist's Âme Câline did it quite well, but maybe Pascoite's thousand-worder Daybreak Will Set Us Free is the one that most comes to mind right now.
I've read the first two. I liked Blazzing's story about the same as you and for the same reasons. I think I liked IN's even a little more than you did, but it does atmosphere well, and that plays to my tastes.
ReplyDeleteI quite liked As the Sun Sets, Twilight Covers, and thought the pivotal idea was absolutely brilliant. Haven't read any of the others... yet.
ReplyDelete