Words read this week: 45,329
As I type this, there's snow in the local forecast. How can we have mild weather almost the entire winter and then go back to freezing conditions just as spring is around the corner? I blame Discord. Well, either him or the weather pegasi. Anyway, the now customary five fics to review this week, and one in particular really stood out. Here's the list:
A Moment in the Sun by Chengar Qordath
Destiny or Coincidence? by TalB
The Crepuscularity of an Alicorn by PsychicKid
Flashing with Flash Sentry by Spring Romp
You're Majesty by Ninjadeadbeard
★: 0 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 1
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.
A Moment in the Sun by Chengar Qordath
Celestia, Sunset Shimmer and Cadance
G4; Drama/Tragedy; 26k words; Aug 2014; Teen
Sunset Shimmer is Princess Celestia's beloved student, and her daughter in all but name. But sometimes getting too close just makes it easier to get hurt.
Note the lack of an [Equestria Girls] tag here – the story ends before Sunset goes all human. That doesn't matter, though, as this is a really compelling backstory for her from her foalhood right through her time as Princess Celestia's protégée. Sunset is hugely gifted, but she does not have a good relationship with her birth family, her mother in particular. She is determined to excel, and this runs through her excellent characterisation here. Meanwhile, the closest Shimmy has to a non-absent mum – Celestia – is really good, convincing in her mixture of sensitivity and (usually) hidden toughness. A very nice cameo for Cadance as well: she has a really memorable encounter with Sunset about 60% of the way through. On top of that, some excellent world-building that makes me want to know more. The use of "plot" is irritating and unusual for a serious 2014 fic, but fortunately it only happens a few times. There are a whole bunch of (mostly AU) sequels, but they'll have to go some to match this. Gripping, emotional, intense and indeed tragic. Strongly recommended. ★★★★★
Review requested by author
Destiny or Coincidence? by TalB
Celestia, Luna, Other [Megan] and Mane Six
G1/G4; Dark/Mystery/Sad/Crossover/Human; 10k words; Sep 2021; Everyone
Bringing back a living legendThe first in a series of stories by this author that feature G1's Megan Williams in G4 Equestria. Considering the missed opportunity in the official Generations comic, the setup here is interesting: Megan is worrying whether she was destined to be Ponyland's saviour or whether it was just a case of being in that place at that time. I love the mention of Star Swirl having studied under the Moochick, and it's nice to see Zecora feature briefly, even if she (without explanation) doesn't rhyme. The prose is sometimes fairly weak with some iffy punctuation choices and clunky phrasing, eg "a yellow filly known as Apple Bloom". If you have to specify "(G1)" to distinguish G1 and G4 Twilights, you probably haven't given them distinct enough personalities in the text. Indeed, some of the G4 canon ponies here can feel rather superficially characterised and a thankfully very brief scene with Discord "touching Megan in places that [make] her feel uncomfortable" gives unpleasant vibes for an E-rated fic. A brief mention of Digimon/Pokémon feels forced and unnecessary, while a Chrysalis backstory (apparently Wonder Woman inspired) is imaginative but impossible to reconcile with her official FIENDship origin comic. The lesson Megan draws at the end is a solid one, though – not world-shatteringly original, but appropriate for Pony. There's the kernel of a satisfying story here, though it's rather rough in execution and reads like what it is: the first published ponyfic by a then-new author. ★★
The Crepuscularity of an Alicorn by PsychicKid
Twilight and Celestia
G4; Drama; 6k words; Apr 2018; Everyone
Twilight anguishes over a seemingly ominous letter from Princess Celestia
Celestia's letter tells Twilight that she – and only she, at least for now – must come to Canterlot at once to receive important news. Twilight worries about what this could mean, and her concerns are hardly diminished when Celestia tells her of a diminution in one of her most important powers. What follows is a take on the special status of alicorns that I haven't seen before and one which is all the more touching because of Celestia's history with Twilight. The prose is generally attractive, if perhaps a bit on the wordy side and with the occasional odd choice of tenses (eg "will" where I'd expect "would"), and the ending is satisfying. A high three and well worth a look. ★★★
Flashing with Flash Sentry by Spring Romp
Flash Sentry, King Sombra, Luna and OC
G4; Adventure; 1k words; Sep 2014; Teen
Flash Sentry is on a quest to pursue love and justice in a bright, pastel-colored world full of bitter judgments and harsh verdicts passed down on the innocent.
This fic has a terrible thumbscore (+3/-16) which in truth I don't think it quite deserves. It's a very silly, rambling mess of a meta fic in which the characters argue with the narrator and Flash Sentry is written deliberately absurdly. It's very much dated since the days when "Brad" was the fandom's favourite hate figure, but I couldn't help finding it (mostly) mildly funny. Don't go in expecting a story, mind. Just about a two. ★★
You're Majesty by Ninjadeadbeard
Twilight, Celestia and Other [Majesty]
G1/G4; Comedy/Random; 2k words; Apr 2022; Teen (Profanity)
Seriously, Celestia? What the heck!?
Two G1 crossovers in the same PR? What dark magic is this? This one is a deliberately absurd comedy, however, in which a G1 pony (Bubbles) transdimensionally drops in on Celestia and Twilight's tea party and insists that Tia is in fact a suddenly-winged Majesty. (Hence the fic's name.) Don't even try to take this seriously; it's just riotous stupid fun, though not every joke quite lands. The late lamented Ninjadeadbeard did his research here, right down to a little joke in which Twilight feels the use of "Tirac" (the G1 villain was spelt that way) when she's expecting "Tirek". A shame that Megan is then misspelt "Meghan", but that's the only clear error. One for a very silly tea-break. ★★★
Next time, I hope to review:
Luna Thinks the Sun is Made of Custard by Art Inspired
Beautiful Lives by Impossible Numbers
Bigger Than Any Heart by Coltured
In Markmoriam by FanOfMostEverything
The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville by McPoodle
A Moment in the Sun is just one of the best Sunset Shimmer fics of all time, no hyperbole.
ReplyDeleteI would also count it as the best story I have ever read whose sequel completely turned me off the series. I'm very interested to see if you have a different take on Freeport.
The Freeport Venture is 111k words, so I'd need to commit to a Spotlight for it. That won't happen any time soon, even more so given your second paragraph. I will probably still read it eventually, but unless I end up adoring it I can't see myself reading all those AU sequels as well.
DeleteSame.
DeleteA Moment in the Sun has been on my RiL list for quite a while, and I guess off a rare ★★★★★ from you, and Present Perfect's praise, I've got to accelerate it up the queue! Luckily it's short enough as to make that child's play, though hearing about the sharp dive the rest of the series makes… well, it got much longer, there was a pretty good chance I was never going to touch them anyway.
ReplyDeleteThat Ninjadeadbeard entry looks appropiately goofy. Was going to read it at some point, of course. Ditto for Crepuscularity, you've sold me on it enough.
I've saw FoME's In Markmoriam story around when it was new, but didn't read it. Curious to see how it fares for me, may influence my decision to read it or not. And an Impossible Numbers story next week too, eh? Very good! They're always interesting…
I've already read IN's fic, as it happens. (As in for next week, not as in years back.) And while I won't spoil what I thought of it, it is indeed interesting.
DeleteHmmmm. I had a very different reaction to "The Crepuscularity of an Alicorn." On the technical side, I thought it was very telly and structurally repetitive. That kind of thing won't bother everyone, but on the storytelling side, it seemed like it followed exactly the same plot that 95% of all immortality angst stories do, up until the very ending.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it did show a lot of promise, especially for being the author's first story (on FiMFic, at least), and the author probably just didn't have that awareness of what's been done many times before.
Not sure how all that would add up to a rating for me. A high two stars, maybe. I'd be curious to read one of their more recent works and see how they've improved... except one's a crossover with something I have no interest in and one's too long for my schedule. That leaves only the newest one, so that decides it.
And... it's meant to be pure slice of life, so by its nature there's not a plot to analyze. It takes a nice snapshot of Twilight's day. The technical aspects of the writing have noticeably improved. It still uses a lot of tell, but the perspective is stronger, and the author's learned to mix up sentence structures to keep it from being repetitive, with only one exception: the "take another sip" rut that plagues authors in this fandom when writing about drinking tea. So yeah, the author's showing good growth. I wish they'd kept posting stories.
Telly has never bothered me as much as it has many readers. That's been the case as long as I remember. I did say that fic was a bit wordy, but it didn't irritate me more than that.
DeleteReading tea fics always amuses me, as an Englishman. An awful lot of writers write tea-drinking as a necessarily complex ritual, especially but not exclusively if Celestia is involved. Given that tea bags exist in Equestria (the singing sort, at least...) I'm sure plenty of ponies just dunk them in a mug. Personally I do use a teapot, but that's as far as it goes.
Checking back now, in Echoes of a Song I was using tea more as a prop for Rarity and Fluttershy's conversation, but indeed I didn't say anything at all about the variety, the specifics of preparation, etc. I will plead guilty to a single "...took another sip of tea" in there, however!
Seeing this comment compels me to ask if you ever read A Most Irregular Tea Party. >.>
DeleteI think there's a conception, maybe just in the US, idk, that people who are really into drinking tea have this mysticism associated with it, and doing things like "microwaving water" or "placing the tea bag directly into the water" or some shit make one a plebeian. I think these people need to stop putting on airs, myself, and just drink the damn tea if they're gonna. >:V
Haha, yes, I agree that it's often given more ritual than it really deserves.
DeleteTo Logan, I don't mind seeing one mention of taking a sip, or even a few, if they're spaced well apart. It's when, during a single scene, you see some variation on "take another sip" with such a frequency that the author clearly doesn't remember they just used it a paragraph ago. In that one I just read, there was a run where it had 3 instances of "she took a sip" or "she took another sip" in only 8 sentences. In the thousands of ponyfics I've reviewed, I see this a lot, and it's really odd that tea makes authors lose their imagination of any other way to word that or anything else people do with their drinks.
@Present Perfect As it happens, A Most Irregular Tea Party is on my RiL list already, though it won't be getting to the top for a little while.
Delete@Pascoite Ah, I see what you mean. I agree, it's strange that tea does this when coffee (which is also given semi-mystical woo-wooing sometimes, even in real life) doesn't seem to. At least, I can't remember it happening, even in fics (eg A Cup of Joe) where coffee plays a role.
"impossible to reconcile with her official FIENDship origin comic"
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't take this as nitpicking, but I think it's fascinating how fandom has decided that that comic is Chrysalis's one true origin story when the story is told by Chrysalis herself, and a large part of that comic is about the dangers of trusting unreliable narrators.
Nitpicking is fine in these parts! But it's a fair point. I didn't change the story's rating based on what I said about Chrysalis's origin, though.
Delete