Ponyfic Roundup 416

Read it Later story count: 93 (nc)

Little things have been frustrating me quite a bit recently, so I'm glad I've been able to escape into the wide world of Equestria from time to time. Happily I did manage to get the hoped-for four stories read, so this edition of PR is as long as usual. With just as much of Logan waffling as usual, so bad luck! Anyway, this time we have:

An open spot by Verzeih Turncoat
When Ponies Fly by Lets Do This
To Me, the Roaring Ghost by locke_jaw
The Trial of Faux Pas by Wise Cracker

★: 1 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 0 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.

An open spot by Verzeih Turncoat
Wonderbolts, Spitfire and Other
G4; Slice of Life; 1k words; May 2016; Everyone

Fire Streak becomes an teacher. Time to say good bye.

Fire Streak is the Wonderbolt whose retirement leads to the events of "Newbie Dash". It's not a bad way to fill in that gap, and I like that it's done from his own perspective. We also get an explanation for Rainbow's startling 100% test score. However, I find it hard to credit Spitfire doing a couple of the things she does in this, given her hard-nosed professionalism. Also, another fic that could do with a thorough proofread (unless Spitfire really was hoovering over her desk...) and so this is probably largely a fic for those are who really interested in its premise. ★★

When Ponies Fly by Lets Do This
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Applejack
G4/G5 AU; Comedy/Drama/Alternate Universe; 6k words; Mar 2022; Everyone

Earth-pony Twilight Sparkle has always been a little "out there". But while testing her latest crazy idea, she finds that there are places even farther than that...

As the shortdesc hints, this G5 is not the one we now know, but is based on the older concepts in which the G4 Mane Six would have formed the basis for the next generation's core characters. Twilight's scientific bent remains, but here she's still closer to her S1 self than her post-alicornication character. She's also more of an inventor, who builds wings that leave her only friend Applejack rather bemused. But Twilight discovers she can use those wings to fly above the stars to other worlds. In one of those, she meets something entirely new to her: a pegasus! She and Rainbow Dash bond quite fast and I loved following Twi as she discovers and explores with the help of her winged friend. Lets Do This incorporates a few bits of dialogue from the canon S1 premiere in somewhat new contexts, but perhaps surprisingly these don't feel forced. Even more impressively, this has an actually vaguely justifiable use of "a cyan, rainbow-maned pegasus"! I'm usually up for a good story written in the small-town style of early FiM, and this is one. Recommended, and the sequel's going on my RiL list. ★★★★

To Me, the Roaring Ghost by locke_jaw
OC
G4; Comedy/Random/Slice of Life; 1k words; Apr 2019; Everyone

He knew it was there. He can't see it. But he knew it was there.

Ah yes, the old "I bought an old house and there's... something in there" setup. Nothing wrong with that, and indeed there's a bit of quite pleasant imagery in this story: clouds as "lonely islands" in the darkness, for example. On the downside, this isn't really a Pony fic. You could change about ten words ("hoofsteps") and so on, with no change to the story itself, and it would be original fiction. The ending is very strange and anticlimactic, and if it's a nod to another story or fandom I didn't get it. More irritatingly, the first 250 words or so are repeated word-for-word (bar one or two words that don't have any significance) for no obvious reason. At first I thought it might be one of those creepyfics where the same scene plays out but not quite the same. But no, they're virtually identical. So as things stand, a story that's more irritating and confusing than creepy. ★

The Trial of Faux Pas by Wise Cracker
Changelings, Chrysalis, Celestia and OC
G4; Dark; 8k words; Oct 2012; Teen (Death)

A changeling stands on trial for his actions during the Canterlot raid. But what's his plan?

First up: if you don't like pre-Thorax stories with sympathetic changeling characters, move on. Because this is one, and an interesting example at that. Faux Pas is the Hive's War Engineer, their term for a military strategist. As one of the few changelings with full free will, his trial before Chrysalis turns into a battle of wits – although given their species, neither she nor Faux Pas are particularly shy of using violence too. Elsewhere, a group of refugee changelings reaches Equestria and asks Celestia for permission to settle there. I like her depiction here, as just but not soft-hearted: she doesn't kill them on the spot, but she certainly doesn't welcome them with open hooves either. They have to show her why Equestria should accept them. This is quite a wordy fic, with a good deal of exposition-y headcanon and a rather abrupt end. I also can't decide whether the question from Chrysalis to Faux Pas "You decided to have your way with the fillies, is that correct?" was supposed to read as intensely creepy as it actually does. (It's referring to draining love, but it does make you think...) PaulAsaran gave this a "Needs Work". Me? I'm kind of on the fence: I'm probably more forgiving of the expo-dumps than he is, but I agree with the author's A/N acknowledging "obvious 'old-fic' problems", such as an out-of-nowhere "thou art" from Faux Pas at one point. There's a considerably longer sequel, and this story has done enough that I may read that at some point. But as it stands this fic is both interesting and slightly frustrating. Top-end two, I think. ★★

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Next week, I hope that stories reviewed will include shortskirtsandexplosion's... something or other, PROTOTY. I feel it's been long enough now since I read a Skirts story and had no idea what the hay was going on. Also it's short.