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| "I was told this image was an old meme now, but I didn't listen" |
4 Apr 2015
My original rating (for the whole premiere): ★★★★
IMDb score: 9.0
Thoughts: This was great. Starlight is a deeply threatening villain, powerful and intelligent, with a range that runs from her use of imprisonment and brainwashing, to her clear intent to do harm to the pursuing villagers, to her willingness to yell over one of Twilight's speeches. (Okay, that one I can sort of understand.) The brainwashing section is creepy, what with the use of non-stop slogans over loudspeakers and the way the Mane Six are locked straight back in the moment they don't come around. It's about the closest to Orwellian you could imagine in a TV-Y show aimed at six-year-olds. Party Favor is shown no mercy until he "repents", either. The Cause trumps all. Fluttershy gets a good role in this half of the episode, with her oddly naive behaviour from part 1 being turned into a secret weapon. Starlight doesn't just accept her unquestioningly, though, and without Party Favor's self-sacrifice Sugar Belle at the very least might also have ended up in the Ministry of Equality building. Though who knows, given 'Shy works very hard not to betray anypony? There's not a huge amount of humour this time around, though "even tweets don't make sense any more" always amuses me. Pinkie's "barrel of laughs" line is kind of funny, but also pretty starkly shows how bad things have got at that time. (Pinkie is written well throughout this premiere, I'll note here.) Despite the paucity of laughs, there's certainly plenty going on, and the last third is action packed. Even with their cutie marks restored, it takes everything the Manes and the villagers (notably Double Diamond) have got to tackle Starlight, and even then she manages to escape... for now, at least. Custom end credits music, too! As with part 1, this was hugely watchable. As with part 1, it gets a full five stars.
Choice quote: Starlight Glimmer: "QUIET!"
New rating: ★★★★★
Next up is "Castle Sweet Castle", which was a bit overshadowed by this premiere but which did at least address something we'd all been wondering about.
I don't know if I can even try to wax my usual analysis. This episode is just SO great - almost without question, my personal favourite part of a two-parter. The marginal sacrifice the previous one made in a solid if unspectacular opening 4 minutes to get to the new location means this one, literally from the very first second, is nothing but tension, tension, tension the whole way. And unlike Part 2 of "A Canterlot Wedding", it's not just sugar (that's not a slight against that episode, honest).
ReplyDeleteEvery strength from last time - the tight, layered writing, the effective execution of a villain balanced between self-serving and actually believing her own ideology, the brilliant balance of the Mane 6 even if some of them don't technically do much (Rarity does even less in this one then last time) - applies here. And we get the added delight of Fluttershy going undercover and struggling through but making it. Then there's the thrilling ravine chase that may well still be one of the best setpieces in the whole show due to the small but effective character work done for the four featured villagers and a great balance between weaponised silliness and, you know, the threat of actually losing their marks. And it all wraps up with just enough of a reminder of the seasonal "arc" (or, well, what it could have been) to tie the episode back to that without even affecting the overall experience, as many pilot or premiere type episodes often too.
It's light on humour, and most humour that is here tends to be bleak, but it is never a downbeat slog (I mean, I don't have a kid to hand, but I'm sure Cloptimist can provide evidence on how this fared for the target audience).
I'm sure I'll look back at this comment later and think "ugh, could have discussed that!" But let's be real, everyone loves this episode. You don't need me to tell you why its fantastic.
P.S. This one has a ton on the Production Changes - all for the better, and I think that really shows how driven they were to make this an effective a piece as they could. Check it out below!
"The Cutie Map - Part 2" - Production Changes
ReplyDeletePREMISE
Like Part 1 there are two Premises, the second just adding stuff. The Revised Premise will be recounted, with aspects absent from the original noted at the end.
With Spike being held back from warning the Mane 6, Starlight is able to stop them from getting the jump on her after their marks are removed. With many villagers already contaminated with the Mane 6's ways, Starlight vows to not let them ruin her utopia, and has the spy that set the Mane 6 up, Wind Drifter, keep the Cutie Marks safe by constantly moving their location.
Distraught at being powerless, the Mane 6 try to find the marks, but Wind Drifter remains one step ahead. While reflecting, Twilight realises that Starlight didn't use the magical orb she mentioned before to remove their marks - it almost seemed like her own magic… a special talent. She sends Spike to spy, and he discovers she has a mark.
The group hatches a plan that looks to be trying to find the marks again, but this time they pull a fast one on Starlight - she doesn't realise until the village is gathered and they've exposed her mark. Wind Drifter is the most devastated of all. She doesn't buy Starlight's rationale of needing to keep her magic to remove the others' marks and that she must carry the burden, and leads everypony to the vault.
After they find the Mane 6's marks missing, we get the ravine chase, several villagers eventually forcing Starlight to return the marks. She flees, vowing revenge, which Twilight takes seriously but vows to be ready for. The village celebrates their returning talents, and the Mane 6 sing a song as a counterpoint to Starlight's one last time, about how being true to yourself and showing your talents is the key to making true, lasting friendships. Returning home, Twilight's friends are confident they'll be good representatives for her from now on, and Twilight agrees. Their strength is why they've been called upon. She's sure they can face anything, a sentiment she'll add to her next journal entry.
[What's different in the first Premise? Most middle material on Wind Drifter wasn't there, and neither was the orb deception or Spike finding Starlight's secret, as he already knew. The big one, is that the Mane 6's marks weren't separate, meaning no ravine chase, and Starlight fled and vowed revenge after the song. The early Premise reads as an unfinished document, not worth dwelling on.]
OUTLINE
A lot to unpack! The broad strokes are the same, but the longer length only emphasises the differences present in the Premise.
The vault is still entrusted to Snow Drift and Night Flight. Since the Mane 7 already “contaminated” much of the village, Starlight has them expelled rather than trying to sway them to her cause. Stuck outside the village, after moping about their lost talents, they send a volunteering Spike to gather intel. We actually see him returning, and we see the Mane 7 discussing Starlight's secret, with Twilight formulating a plan.
Exposing Starlight plays out differently, using wayward carts to direct her and her loyal followers to the town’s centre, where they expose her mark with ropes pulling on a bucket. After Snow Drift and Night Flight lead the way to the vault, we find out Starlight has the Mane 6’s marks. The ravine chase has the marks recovered one-by-one by various villagers - once Twilight’s is retrieved, she detains Starlight. Their back-and-forth is broadly the same, though Starlight gives an abridged take of her backstory (which she gave in Part 1's Revised Premise). Twilight releases Starlight, letting her get away rather than simply not pursuing her.
Finally, the episode ends with new Representative cloaks for the Mane 7, a reprise of Pinkie’s “Are we there yet?” gag on the journey home, and Rarity coining the term “Royal Guardians of Friendship” for them.
[continued below]
[continued from above]
Delete1ST SCRIPT
Like Part 1's 1st draft, this is much closer to the outline than the final episode. The moving vault is gone, as are loyal ponies double-crossing the Mane 6, but almost everything else is carried over from the outline or adapted. It cannot be overstated, only a small handful of dialogue and action is a perfect match to the final episode.
After an unnecessary scene of The Mane 6 being lectured on and put inside the cottage, rather than starting in there, with the ponies being despondent, Spike sneaks out of the equalisation cottage. After trying to get help from Bubble Burst, he bears witness to Starlight’s actual mark.He reports back to the Mane 6 and they concoct a plan (though Twilight can’t contribute, with her powers drained, as is shown through a few jokes), Spike sets up the water trap, which fails due to being spotted and having to rush, though the distraction is enough for Rainbow Dash to expose Starlight’s Mark. Her having the Mane 6’s Marks is held back until the Mane 6 all find out.
The ravine chase follows the Outline format of several villagers ponies recovering the Mane 6’s marks one-by-one rather then Starlight holding onto them until the very end, though it adds her trying to steal the Marks of her pursuers on a few occasions to slow them down - they work together to deflect these, even retrieving Fluttershy’s Mark after Starlight nearly nicks it back. There are also two flashbacks to Starlight’s backstory at the chase’s start and right after, making her more saddened through the anger. Finally, the Mane 6’s last words as the villagers party has Twilight coining the term “Fellowship of Harmony” for the group.
Touches not yet present include the loudspeaker messages, and some of Starlight’s better remarks (no “Quiet!” yet). Though one moment where she tells the Mane 6 that, should they refuse to join, she’ll ask next week, then next month, and then next year - that is properly dreadful. All villagers are unicorns, a peculiar detail that says a lot about Starlight and her preference for her society of “friendship”. And, of course, there are early notions for the seasonal arc - an official ambassador term for the Mane 6 along with outfits to go - that went unused.
OTHER SCRIPTS
Like with Part 1, the 2nd draft here gets close enough to the final episode to just rattle through the changes.
The opening scene in the equalisation cottage has more examples of the equalisation magic (Twilight can barely turn a page - animatic feedback notes they cut things like this as Hasbro only wanted Twilight's magic affected, not her intelligence), no "that staff seems odd" dialogue, and different megaphone messages. The script is very accurate up until Fluttershy bursts out of the chimney - she actually goes to the vault, only to find the marks are missing, and it's on her way back that she stumbles off Starlight's mark being exposed.
Exposing Starlight has some differences: Party Favour apologises first, and his words against the Mane 6 are enough for Starlight to send them back in without even asking if they've seen the light. Fluttershy seeing her friends being so tired and drained is enough for her to take the initiative and splash water herself. Starlight makes one more plea when being surrounded later, but the scene is identical otherwise. The vault isn't shown getting smashed either, we just hear it and see marks shooting out of the cave. The ravine chase is much closer, but has several different visual beats (including Bubble Burst almost retrieving Rarity's Cutie Mark at one point). And the last few minutes lack the "let's start over" dialogue from the four villagers, and Twilight reflecting on their mission and what it means for the future.
[script changes continued below]
[script changes continued from above]
DeletePolish V1 mostly adjusts tiny tweaks not mentioned above - the only notable fixes are adding the staff dialogue, though in a different place in said scene, and adjusting the exposing scene to match the final episode. Easily the weirdest thing is a coda back in Twilight's castle, of Spike in a changeling costume waving bye to offscreen reenactors (“You play a mean Queen Chrysalis, Mr. Cake!”), only for Big Mac in a changeling costume to jump-scare Spike. This is so out-of-nowhere and random for all the wrong reasons, small wonder it didn’t last another draft.
Polish V2 changes all the notable things from above (the equalisation cottage scene, the megaphone dialogue, Fluttershy observing Double Diamond delivering the Marks rather then checking the cave herself, a few edits to the ravine chase), and it adds the two missing dialogue chunks mentioned above, and axes the bizarre Spike coda. After that, the final locked script just trims a few snippets, losing 1/4 of a page, and changes the 5 new characters' names (as noted before, they were originally Aurora Glimmer, Snow Drift, Bubble Burst, Sugar Sprinkles and Night Flight).
ANIMATIC & OTHER CHANGES
Since the script is over 32 pages long, has some action scenes that take more screentime than is evident on the page, and requires some time for a recap, there were a fair share of cuts. Happily, they are mostly smart trims for pacing here and there, as follows. Some other tiny, uninteresting dialogue cuts aren’t mentioned, as normal.
* The equalisation cottage has extra things like a clock, and terrible hay in a trough (which Rainbow spits out when eating during the long night). When Starlight enters, two henchponies refill the water and hay, which is the setup for where Fluttershy gets the water bucket from later (we see her sneaking to it while Twilight talks to Starlight, and she isn’t specified as being airborne either).
* Rainbow Dash’s “We’re going to get our marks back!” line didn’t interrupt Double Diamond’s line, which went on one sentence longer - she waited for him to finish. Smart editing choice, saving time and increasing urgency and tension. Leading on from that, Rainbow and Applejack are instantly returned to the cottage once they object, rather than with the group shortly.
* Fluttershy remembered on her own to speak up to join - no shove from Twilight. Rarity also got in an “Et tu, Fluttershy?” as part of the deception.
* Starlight’s dialogue asking Fluttershy to rat out the select villagers happened in a different order. It was reedited to be more concise and require less pauses, though no words were cut.
* When Party Favour is trapped, he gets two more lines of despair, one of them lashing out at the Mane 6. * Pinkie gets another “barrel of laughs” moment too, deflating from Cutie Marks being the best thing in the whole world to being “okay, take ‘em or leave ‘em.”
* Fluttershy’s tour of the village has them listing off their regular activities (a library with infinite lend-times, friendship sing-alongs every Tuesday). This is noted to be just a shorthand description of the scene, not a suggestion for the visuals.
* After Starlight reapplies her mark, she goes to check on Fluttershy, and Fluttershy returns to bed just in time, wide with fear and covered in soot. At breakfast the next morning, she almost exposes a trace of soot on one hoof before switching to use another with the spoon. This is the most notable cut.
* When Starlight flees, we see her emerge in another isolated cottage with a getaway cart. And we see her fleeing it towards the mountains. This was changed to the exit being out of a rock near the ravine paths.
[animatic cuts continued below]
[animatic cuts continued from above]
Delete* The ravine chase was actually quite script accurate. The only real differences are Night Glider being taken out with an avalanche early on getting added in storyboard, and the balloon bridge being made over a crater by Party Favor alone, rather than over a long bridge with Night Glider’s help. Starlight muses to herself that she’ll be able to hold off any pursuers easily in the narrow caves when she’s almost there.
* There is a little more dialogue from Double Diamond on the significance of finding his ski where he first met Starlight, and how she was so charming and he always meant to come back for them. Later, after Starlight’s escape, he mentions how he’s almost forgotten who he really was, not having had his skis for so long.
* At the very end, when the Mane 6 join the party, the camera lingers near Starlight’s old cottage, where a small sapling glowing like the Tree of Harmony sprouts through the dirt. Similar bits are cut from all other Map episodes this season - a seasonal arc element that was retooled, it would seem.
Animatic feedback was quite minimal, and mostly visual revisions to moments in the opening scene. They requested a pickup for Starlight to make it clear she knocked over the water bucket (originally it was just “Clumsy fool…” rather than “Starlight, you clumsy fool…” Finally, Starlight was originally shown running away after her last blast at the caves - Hasbro requested her out of sight already, because otherwise, it’s weird why the others don’t keep giving chase. Funnily, the animatic feedback for both parts still calls Starlight “AG” (Aurora Glimmer), even though the name was changed following legal approval three months prior - guess they were too used to her working name from the months of script production!
OVERALL THOUGHTS
The early plot logistics getting overhauled is likely due to Meghan McCarthy handing off her work - you inherit someone else's blueprints, and they're not still supervising, of course you're going to changes things. There are certainly many interesting elements here - one or two right-hand ponies for Starlight that are direct obstacles, more literal equalisation magic, Spike being the spy - but the revisions make sense. The final episode is tighter, more thematically focused, and sidesteps plot holes (if Starlight exiled them, why didn't the Mane 7 just flee and get royal help?). I don't even mind Spike being removed - having Fluttershy be a mole and faking trust adds more tension and feeds into the themes more, and it's a better fit for a cutie mark episode to sidestep the one character without one. Larson already strained to give the villagers ponies screen time and personality (as is evident in earlier drafts, where they did nothing not dictated by the plot), removing Spike was wise. And many over-laboured elements were removed or altered. The episode always had a sturdy skeleton, they were just smoothening it over.
I also really admire how the tighter focus trusts the audience more, due to implying stuff previously stated directly. Those drafts where we see the Mane 6 receiving the news of Starlight's mark and discussing it - isn't it more effective for that to happen offscreen and for Twilight to ask seemingly innocent questions that set Starlight up as a hypocrite once her Mark is exposed?
I do miss Starlight being either middle-aged or elderly, and not knowing of the Mane 6 before her arrival - that adds so much to her character it's not even funny. And it was clearer in these documents that Starlight's special talent IS removing Cutie Marks - how many viewers actually realised that?
In the end, there's a lot here. But virtually nothing alarming, sans perhaps the arc elements (new Tree, defined terms for the Mane 6 on missions) that got scrapped. Season 5's development gets rough fast, but all the revisions on this fantastic two-parter paid off.
I always thought that Starlight was significantly older than the Mane 6. She certainly behaved that way, well beyond this season opener.
DeleteI also assumed, given the rest of her episodes, that her special talent was misusing magic.
I always thought that Starlight was significantly older than the Mane 6. She certainly behaved that way, well beyond this season opener.
DeleteI don't know if I thought that before, but I certainly couldn't unseen it once I came across this nugget. I guess I just wish it was explicit, though in a cartoon where the design mentality means all adult ponies look the same age until they're elderly, that would be too much to ask. In any case, it is true there are behavioural patterns to support this beyond this episode. They're just strongest here.
I also assumed, given the rest of her episodes, that her special talent was misusing magic.
Perhaps that is so - since this info is largely only clear in the script but less so by the final draft, and not highlighted at all in the episode, I wouldn't even necessarily call it canon, unless someone wants it to be. Just interesting that's the mindset in which her mark and talent were written for her debut.
It's a bit hard to see how they would redeem her if they stuck to that idea. It's kind of like having a cutie mark for kicking puppies!
DeletePossibly why they removed even that implication, when it became clearer that not only would Starlight come back at the season's end, but be a recurring character going forward. This script was locked 3 months (March 25th 2014) before the Premise for "The Cutie Re-Mark" was written (that two-parter episode kept getting page-one rewrites at every stage, but that's besides the point here). So it's reasonably likely it came about due to starting to think vaguely about "okay, what will we do with Starlight when we bring her back?". That's my hypothesis, anyway.
DeleteHopefully not too hypothetical. Maybe they just removed it because they didn't like it. But you can probably tell by now I love this kind of behind-the-scenes info.
I realty enjoy it as well, so thanks again for sharing with us!
DeleteTo answer Mike's question above, this went down very well with the Target Audience(TM). The central plot being very easily grasped, and visually reinforced - Starlight has stolen everypony's cutie marks and now they're all grey and miserable - shouldn't be underplayed in considering how much leeway that gave the show to up the ante on the decidedly dark atmosphere.
ReplyDeletePlus, as Mike said, it's never a slog, there are several moments of excitement (I remember the children being genuinely gripped during Fluttershy's rooftop mission!),there are still some good gags - Pinkie's usual manic demeanour briefly shining through before falling flat, the book full of nothing but equal signs, Fluttershy thinking she must be almost there only to realise she's advanced about three inches, Applejack needlessly smashing Starlight's jug on the way in, AJ's "summer of piglets" gibberish, all got giggles amid the tension - and Party Favor's balloon tech went down a treat.
If the nuances of the menace and threat in the brainwashing cottage scenes or in Starlight's manipulation of Fluttershy to prove her loyalty were largely missed, the overall foreboding atmosphere wasn't, which made the final scenes equally effective for both the kids and the adults in the room. A rare feat!
I love this episode, and just as with last week's it gets a very easy five stars.
Happy to hear it went down that well! I suspected It would, for many of the reasons you cite. It's always great when kids' entertainment can thread the needle between having nuances lost on its intended audience, as a bonus for the older crowd, but which still has everything about its scenario, characters, comedy and tone/atmosphere play to full effect. Not going to claim this episode is Inside Out in that regard, but it's plenty sophisticated.
Delete