Chris's excellent One Man's Pony Ramblings blog hasn't updated for over a month now.
Read it Later story count: 341 (-4)
Yet another three-fic week, which really does irritate me. Had the snow relented before the weekend, there'd certainly have been one or two more. I now have some (scheduled) dental appointments coming up, so how much I read over the next couple of weeks will depend on how those go! Still, I did manage to read the story I trailed last week, so there's that. Today's trio:
The Web Untangled by Impossible Numbers
Peachy Pie's Very Special Somepony by VitalSpark
No hard feelings by SeptimusMagistos
★: 0 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0
The Web Untangled by Impossible Numbers
Fluttershy and Mane Six
Drama/Slice of Life; 18k words; Feb 2017; Everyone
Enjoying a peaceful end to a hectic week, Fluttershy contemplates the nature of Twilight's latest diplomatic mission. All while entertaining some unusual house guests!Fair warning: there are spiders in this. Lots of spiders. Assuming you can deal with that, though, this is an interesting look at an aspect of Fluttershy's "animal caretaker" vocation we don't get to see in detail in the show. She's set up Special Spider Time in her cottage while Twilight fusses about meeting the ultra-pernickety Hair-Splitter Nation. It takes quite a long time for these plot strands to come together, enough time for me to get a little impatient, but eventually they do – albeit in a way that I suspect will divide opinion: some will love it and some... won't. I'm still not entirely sure how much I like the Hair-Splitter reveal in the final chapter. Impossible Numbers' prose is generally a delight, and so it is here: there's some lovely phrasing and several light-touch S1 references. The arachnology is impressive, if perhaps occasionally a little on the dense side – I kept having to stop and look up words like "vinegaroon". A top-end three because of my various small reservations. The fic does have Fluttershy being extremely Fluttershy, though, and that's never a bad thing. ★★★
Peachy Pie's Very Special Somepony by VitalSpark
Other (Peachy Pie and Sunny Daze)
Romance/Slice of Life; 3k words; Feb 2015; Everyone
Sunny Daze helps her best friend look for her very special somepony.A change of pace here, with a simple bit of cuteness that could almost have come from the show itself. Peachy Pie is sad at being single on Hearts and Hooves day, so Sunny attempts to find her somepony special. There's nothing especially tricky or bizarre about this, which is why it works well: we get a pleasant, Equestria-appropriate few hours in the company of two fillies. The ending is also a really lovely one. If you like slice of life, give this a go. ★★★
No hard feelings by SeptimusMagistos
Mane Six and Spike
Slice of Life; 3k words; Dec 2011; Everyone
A scene taking place after the end of "Mare Do Well"Now we're going back a bit! This is something of a fix-fic, probably inspired by the complaints that were rife at the time about how the episode had been unfair to Rainbow Dash. The characterisation is mostly okay for the era, and the closing letter to Celestia (yes, it's that old) is unobjectionable if unexciting. Some technical oddities in the writing and I doubt it'll make anyone change their mind about the episode in 2018, but it's a reasonable quick read. ★★
Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed will include... I don't know just yet. I have some ideas, though. And no, I haven't forgotten D G D Davidson's Love on the Reef. That will be in PR 196.
Your timing in posting that intro is amazing.
ReplyDeleteI've just been catching up. I wondered whether to delete it, but instead I've added an extra paragraph at the top. The end of an era, indeed.
DeleteAw, you should have left a comment or something like you did last time. I almost missed this, and I do love receiving reviews, critical or complimenting.
ReplyDeleteRight-ho, let's take a look.
"this is an interesting look at an aspect of Fluttershy's 'animal caretaker' vocation we don't get to see in detail in the show."
If only because everyone would go ape seeing that many spiders at once. Seriously, though, since this was partly inspired by watching a nature documentary, I'm starting to wonder now to what extent Fluttershy's animal care has been explored, be it in the show (I've been sort of out-of-touch since Season Six) and in the fandom.
"It takes quite a long time for these plot strands to come together,"
Fun Fact: in the original draft, they had nothing whatsoever to do with each other, and the vignettes were going to be just that. Not sure if this is a cause or a coincidence of that delay-like feeling, so I mention it just in case.
"albeit in a way that I suspect will divide opinion: some will love it and some... won't."
This is the first piece of feedback I've ever received which actually indicated a non-positive response to the ending. Colour me intrigued.
"I'm still not entirely sure how much I like the Hair-Splitter reveal in the final chapter."
Hm, but from what angle? I thought it fit in rather neatly; from a thematic POV, it reinforces the point about species differences and accommodation while also doubling down on the topic of spiders. From a narrative POV, it tied together many of the threads leftover from before, and more importantly acted as a "final exam" for Fluttershy's learning and skill, ramped up in difficulty because she's not merely dealing with tiny, friendly spiders. And from a worldbuilding POV... I don't think it's much of a stretch, considering what's already confirmed to exist in Equestria.
I'm not being smug or anything. I am legitimately intrigued as to where it might be weaker than I predicted.
"Impossible Numbers' prose is generally a delight, and so it is here: there's some lovely phrasing and several light-touch S1 references."
Thank you! This is always the least certain aspect of my work to me, so it's much appreciated to hear others' thoughts about it (I always wonder if I err too much towards being flowery).
"The arachnology is impressive,"
I'm sincerely blushing right now, but it was one of my aims to show off spiders in all their variety. It's not a coincidence Fluttershy the Animal Lover is one of my favourite characters.
"if perhaps occasionally a little on the dense side – I kept having to stop and look up words like 'vinegaroon'."
I should apologize for this, but I can't honestly do it. I had a blast gathering the information together, and feel like it's an achievement if a few more people end up looking up "vinegaroon".
I really wish I didn't feel like I'm overlooking a flaw, here, but in my defence I will say that particular scene was meant to be Fluttershy's equivalent of a kid finding some extremely rare and valuable collector cards.
"A top-end three because of my various small reservations."
That's twice now, you utter tease. I shall take that as a thrown gauntlet, good sir, you see if I don't. ;)
"The fic does have Fluttershy being extremely Fluttershy, though, and that's never a bad thing."
No arguments there, of course. n.n
Thank you very much for the review, and I hope to perform better if ever we cross paths again, Loganberry.
Thank you for your comment, and I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier. It's always a pleasure to get feedback on feedback!
Deletethis was partly inspired by watching a nature documentary
I actually thought of "Attenborough and the Empire of the Ants" while reading, but that came out after you published the story. Wonderful programme, though.
I'm starting to wonder now to what extent Fluttershy's animal care has been explored, be it in the show (I've been sort of out-of-touch since Season Six) and in the fandom.
In the show, it was central to "Fluttershy Leans In" (S7E05), which sadly was widely seen as one of the weakest Fluttershy episodes for some time. It's dull, for one thing, and that's coming from someone who happily reads stories in which Fluttershy makes breakfast for her critters.
The fandom hasn't done a huge amount with it, Estee's Five Hundred Little Murders apart. I'd like to see more, as I think it's an underused aspect of her character. As I think I've said elsewhere, I do have an idea for a Flutterfic that builds on her scene in The Book of Ended Lives. Don't hold your breath, though...
This is the first piece of feedback I've ever received which actually indicated a non-positive response to the ending. Colour me intrigued.
I'm not using "not entirely sure" as a euphemism. I really can't decide. It's clever and imaginative and fits the theme – but I'm just not sure whether it's something I, personally, want to see in Equestria. I rather like spiders, so it's not for that reason. I think, in truth, it seems a bit too out-there for me. I'll confess that my first reaction was "Really?" – though, as you said, canon itself has given us some remarkable creatures.
I always wonder if I err too much towards being flowery
I don't mind flowery if it's enjoyable to read, and your prose was just that. I suppose readers who have a strong preference for a sparer style might be less enamoured of it, but they're not reviewing here!
I had a blast gathering the information together
That certainly comes through in the text.
That's twice now, you utter tease. I shall take that as a thrown gauntlet, good sir, you see if I don't. ;)
I hadn't realised that until you reminded me! Lapidify got a four, though, and with some ease.
I hope to perform better if ever we cross paths again, Loganberry.
No "if" about it. I currently have two of your stories on my RiL list: one is Hive Versus Hive, which intrigues me as I've only ever read one really fine Breezies fic (Blueshift's Rise; PR 26). The other is When Space Met Time, which looks adorable. There may well be more, but you've been producing at such a rate recently that I just haven't had time to check your newer fics!
"Thank you for your comment, and I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier. It's always a pleasure to get feedback on feedback!"
DeleteThink nothing of it. No harm done, and of course, it's always a pleasure to get feedback on feedback on feedback. ;)
"I actually thought of 'Attenborough and the Empire of the Ants' while reading, but that came out after you published the story. Wonderful programme, though."
Sadly, I never got around to watching that one, though I've heard it's top quality. Specifically, it was Life in the Undergrowth that I had in mind (a bit of an oldie, but still a goldie!). I love Attenborough's classic Life... series.
"In the show, it was central to 'Fluttershy Leans In' (S7E05), which sadly was widely seen as one of the weakest Fluttershy episodes for some time. It's dull, for one thing, and that's coming from someone who happily reads stories in which Fluttershy makes breakfast for her critters."
I think I've heard of that one here and there. It's the one where she's trying to build an animal sanctuary and ends up faced with a lot of skeptical experts, I believe? Hm. A pity it didn't get much focus before then, considering how integral animal fellowship is to her identity and to her kindness, but ah well.
"The fandom hasn't done a huge amount with it, Estee's Five Hundred Little Murders apart. I'd like to see more, as I think it's an underused aspect of her character. As I think I've said elsewhere, I do have an idea for a Flutterfic that builds on her scene in The Book of Ended Lives. Don't hold your breath, though..."
I should look into the Estee fic, in that case. Well now, this sounds like a neglected niche crying out for correction. As I very much enjoyed that scene in The Book of Ended Lives (heck, I can practically hear her tearful voice going over the dearly departed right now), I will gladly wait to see what you come up with.
"I'm not using 'not entirely sure' as a euphemism. I really can't decide. It's clever and imaginative and fits the theme – but I'm just not sure whether it's something I, personally, want to see in Equestria. I rather like spiders, so it's not for that reason. I think, in truth, it seems a bit too out-there for me. I'll confess that my first reaction was 'Really?' – though, as you said, canon itself has given us some remarkable creatures."
DeleteI think I wasn't very clear; I meant non-positive in the broader sense of "not outright praise", allowing of course for your more ambivalent reaction, but I guess I could have phrased it better. In any case, a little disappointed it seems to come down to individual suspension of disbelief, but to each their own. I'm inevitably biased in its favour, (not least of all because I've also cheerfully used scorpion-ponies in at least two fics elsewhere, so presumably don't have an outsider's view on the introduction of such hybrids into the Equestrian ecosystem).
"I don't mind flowery if it's enjoyable to read, and your prose was just that. I suppose readers who have a strong preference for a sparer style might be less enamoured of it, but they're not reviewing here!"
So far, so good! Until someone indicates otherwise, I suppose I can proceed quite comfortably at least with this aspect of writing. Very encouraging indeed.
"That certainly comes through in the text."
I shall take that as a compliment. :)
"I hadn't realised that until you reminded me! Lapidify got a four, though, and with some ease."
Nevertheless, once I aim for a standard, I must either work to claim it, or work to keep it. Either way, I shall work. But this is why feedback is so important, of course, else how would we know where we are going?
"No 'if' about it. I currently have two of your stories on my RiL list: one is Hive Versus Hive, which intrigues me as I've only ever read one really fine Breezies fic (Blueshift's Rise; PR 26). The other is When Space Met Time, which looks adorable."
Yes, breezie-centric fics are regrettably few and far between, especially ones involving that unstoppable and short-tempered Seabreeze as a central figure. Quite a disparate pair of fics you've picked there. I would be most interested to see what you make of them, and of course I hope you enjoy them too!
"There may well be more, but you've been producing at such a rate recently that I just haven't had time to check your newer fics!"
Understandable, though I make no apologies for largeness or quantity: only for lapses in quality. In any case, I do not believe for a moment all those works need feedback, even were it possible; many are simple stories to keep my hand in, and it's probably obvious which are which.
Thanks for the reply! Glad to hear from a fellow Fluttershy fan again. n.n