Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Ponyfic Roundup 123: Nib Ytsud

A thought regarding Zecora's dialogue: to write her truly canon-correct, authors should probably not aim for perfect rhyme and scansion. She really reaches for some of her couplets in the show, after all. I suspect, though, that this is one of those things done officially that wouldn't be the best idea to copy slavishly. Like writing "Unicorn" etc with initial capital letters. Anyroadup, on with the motley.

I'd Do Her by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
It Spills Over by ambion
Pancakes : The Pancakening. by A Rare Sight
Rainbow's Bad Fanfic by Jay-The-Brony
Change in the guard by JediWyrm

★: 1 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 1 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0

I'd Do Her by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity
Comedy/Slice of Life; 9k words; Jan 2015; Teen
You really shouldn't make sexual comments about your friends, Rainbow Dash.
I'm not generally a big fan of sexual humour, so this was up against it from the start. Nevertheless, it largely succeeded in winning me over, not least because there's actually a story here, not just a string of off-colour jokes. There's an edge of cruelty in the whole "dare" setup that I don't much like, but it is in character for AJ and Dash, I suppose, and at least Rarity gets to provide some snappy dialogue of her own. Surprisingly, recommended, at least as light reading. This probably ought to have a [Sex] tag, though, even if just for the dialogue. ★★★

It Spills Over by ambion
Berry Punch, Twilight, Spike, Other and OC
Sad/Slice of Life; 8k words; Mar 2014; Teen
Berry Punch struggles against the alcoholism that has taken control of her life.
The fandom generally treats Berry Punch's boozing as a light-hearted matter, and I don't have any particular problem with that. In this fic, though, ambion takes a more serious angle and considers what life would be like for Berry – and not just her – if she really were an alcoholic. One of the best aspects of this story is Spike's role: he's used in a clever and satisfying way and is written considerably better than he often is. This is one of those sadly quite rare fics that do something really interesting, if in this case not terribly cheery, with a minor character. ★★★★

Pancakes : The Pancakening. by A Rare Sight
Celestia, Derpy, Scootaloo, Shining Armor and Screwball [and Pinkie!]
Comedy/Random; 2k words; Apr 2015; Everyone
Exactly how many Pancakes did Pinkie Pie make with Twilights help?
That oddly-punctuated title made me wary, and to some extent rightly so. Inspired by "Castle Sweet Castle", this is an uneven tale which is really a series of vignettes. Nothing wrong with that in itself, but it does mean there's not much flow to it. There are some fun bits, and I like Pinkie's take on a letter to Celestia, but describing Scoots' eyes as "violet colored hues" doesn't help. For some reason, "muffins" (and only that plural) is consistently given a greengrocer's apostrophe! ★★

Rainbow's Bad Fanfic by Jay-The-Brony
Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Scootaloo
Comedy/Random/Slice of Life; 2k words; Feb 2015; Everyone
Twilight reads Rainbow's fanfiction
This is a fairly by-the-numbers tale, by a guy with over two hundred published stories, in which Dash shows her self-insert story to Twi. Naturally, she's happy to tell Rainbow just how bad it is. I tend to find this sort of story amusing, and this one is – somewhat. The trouble is that, as long as you can deal with the M rating, Idiotcornball's Proofreading Clopfics Sucks (PR 112), though variable, hits heights at its best that this story can't approach. Rainbow's Bad Fanfic might still have got a third star if its ending, involving Scootaloo, had been the one I thought it was going to have. ★★

Change in the guard by JediWyrm
OC, Celestia and Luna
Comedy/Slice of Life; 3k words; Feb 2016; Everyone
Bud Dale is a Solar Guard and is thinking about switching to the Lunar Guard due to possible issues.
This story, set at around the time of the S2 finale, is a strange one, largely because it doesn't really seem very Equestrian. The protagonist's name isn't very Pony, for a start. We follow him through some of his misadventures in the Royal Guard, but the character is ludicrously strong (special talent or no), running in his sleep is just weird, and the way he speaks to the princesses is surely way out of line. I'm no military man, but a soldier asking to speak "off the record" to his commander-in-chief about his history of bar brawls seems... unlikely. The frequent tense mixing is distracting, too. I probably sound harsher here than this fic deserves. It's not terrible and a moderated version of Bud could be a fun character. As it stands, though, it feels more like an excuse to make a favourite OC awesome than an actual story. ★

Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: Rainbow Dash tells us about flying.


  1. More like the show writers should aim for perfect rhyme and scansion, scrubs. >:V Fite me!

  2. Not really defending myself here. His name is a joke off of Bud(wieser) (Clydes)Dale. Some draft animals are actually capable of pulling a cart while sleeping. He's not really a favourite OC, just and idea I had that I wrote to get out of my head.

    1. Thanks for the comment! :) And sure, I've been there with "have to get that idea out" -- some times it works better than others. Must admit I've never heard of the "sleeping animals" thing, and can't find anything about it on Google, beyond the usual sleepwalking like humans do. Just calling it as I see it, since otherwise it would be a fairly pointless review. Mind you, some might say my reviews were pretty pointless anyway. :P