Wednesday 23 August 2023

Ponyfic Roundup 455

Read it Later story count: 93 (-1)

Words read this week: 30,857

Plenty of things going on at the moment, but almost none of them remotely interesting. My life in a nutshell! So, let's move on to ponyfic, eh? And huzzah, I've kept my word count above 30,000! Admittedly almost half of that is taken up with one story, but I'll take it! As usual, there are five stories on the desk this time around. Here they are:

Muffins' Angel by Short-tale
Midnight Bloo by Impossible Numbers
Pipp of Theseus by Casketbase77
Let the Weather In by gloamish
A Love So Strong by MissytheAngle

★: 0 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 1
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.

Muffins' Angel by Short-tale
Derpy, Maud, Lyra, Bon-Bon and Pinkie Pie

G4 EqG; Romance/Slice of Life; 4k words; Apr 2023; Everyone

Muffins never met a girl so beautiful and calming, she turns to her friends Lyra and Bon Bon for advice on what to do.

Muffins (so named here as it's canon in EqG) has never had a romantic relationship, so when she falls for Maud she doesn't know how to react. She's written as neurodivergent in this fic, something very easy to get horribly wrong – all the more so with Muffins herself narrating – but which Short-tale manages satisfyingly and sweetly. Indeed, "sweet" is how I'd describe the story. I tend to agree with EileenSaysHi that Maud's Maudness is slightly overdone, and fellow Brits should bear in mind that one passing comment Lyra gives relates to something in (some) US states' age-of-consent laws that we don't have,¹ but these aren't big deals. The fic as a whole is fluffy and cute and warm. A high three. ★★★
¹ Think age gaps. Don't worry, the fic's E rating is wholly justified.

Midnight Bloo by Impossible Numbers
Other and Luna

G4; Drama/Slice of Life; 15k words; Sep 2022; Everyone

What happens to the candy on Nightmare Night? And why's Bloo so depressed about it?

I was going to leave this for a Nightmare Night edition, but I lost patience – and I'm glad I did. This is a wonderfully inventive tale of spooks and ghouls and freaks and fools. Bloo (a canon but very much background pony) lives in Ponyville with her mother Libertee, who Disapproves of Bloo doing things like having fun or eating candy in a way mildly reminiscent of Pinkie's parents. (Pinkie herself features, but only briefly on-screen.). Every Nightmare Night, Libertee and Bloo host the "Monsters-Under-the-Bed" – but this year, given the story is set in S2, there's a new visitor. People have mentioned The Nightmare Before Christmas and Monsters, Inc., and not unreasonably – but I caught more than a whiff of Terry Pratchett here as well.¹ The story breezes along and there are great lighter touches to leaven the darkness. Luna's characterised very nicely for her "Luna Eclipsed" era and the fic wraps up satisfyingly. It's not quite perfect – perhaps Libertee's backstory falls slightly between two stools in how much we're given – but it's not far off. Of the far too few people who've read this story, everyone seems to love this fic. So do I. A delight. ★★★★★
¹ There are at least two lines I guessed were direct references, but that's not all that feels Pratchetty.

Pipp of Theseus by Casketbase77
Pipp and Zipp

G5 AU; Slice of Life; 2k words; Nov 2015; Everyone

There's a reason Pipp Petals has inconsistent eye colors.

The author noticed that Pipp's eyes weren't always represented the same way in various G5 media, and from there came this snippet. As with G4 Princess Erroria fics and indeed old-fandom changeling stories, this takes an animation mistake and places it squarely in Equestria itself. Pipp being Pipp, there's social media involved from the start, too. Some interesting ideas, such as a way to justify a changeling being called Pipp – but this is quite a fragmented fic, flashbacks making it bounce around a fair bit. Points for the clever chapter title, though I was less keen on that reference being extended in-story. Less keen still on a "love of Faust", even as a social media comment. Unsurprisingly smoothly written, but don't go in expecting another masterpiece like Stop Number Twelve (PR 450). A highish two is the best I can do this time. ★★

Let the Weather In by gloamish
Fluttershy

G4; Slice of Life; 6k words; Aug 2023; Everyone

A newly come-of-age mare, Fluttershy descends from Cloudsdale to live at the fringes of Ponyville and walks, slowly, into the natural world.

This fic's author only signed up in June, but on this evidence I hope they stick around. Here we have a nice look at Fluttershy's early days on the ground, including her struggles to adjust and her first animal caretaker activities. I like the characterisation of 'Shy here, which feels subtly different from even her S1 persona in a satisfying way. Though untagged, Rainbow Dash plays an important smaller role in the fic. Occasional odd phrasing ("four in the AM") and perhaps trying a little too hard for a literary tone at times, but it's generally a smooth read. There's also one clever piece of misdirection that hit me quite hard.The A/N at the end is worth reading if you don't mind the author's decision to write it in (very nearly) all lower case,¹ though it does open with a dril quote that isn't appropriate for an E-rated fic. Still, the fic itself is worth a look – especially for a Flutterfan like me, something which contributes to its rating here. ★★★
¹ Judging by their Fimfiction comments, they do this a lot. The story itself is conventionally capitalised, though.

A Love So Strong by MissytheAngle
Rainbow Dash and OC

G4; Sad; 5k words; Jan 2013; Everyone

Every year on a specific day, she goes to visit him. While tonight was not that night, she went anyway. No romance tag.

Just after the events of the S1 premiere, Rainbow Dash goes quietly away to visit her grandfather Gliding Heights' grave. He had been the one who encouraged her to one day try for the Wonderbolts (in this fic, they are founded during GH's lifetime) but Dash is now hurt by the thought she spent so much time training that she didn't spend enough time with Gramps. The conclusion Rainbow eventually comes to is fair enough, if obvious, but the story suffers a bit from overwriting – perhaps because the author had (as the end A/N states) their own grandfather in mind. It's quite an old-fandom story in its simplicity, so bear that in mind too. ★★


As I've said before, two things I enjoy very much are giving five-star reviews and discovering interesting new authors, and both have happened today! Here's to more of that. Anyway, enough of this week; here's the slate for next week:

Forsaken Shores by garatheauthor
The Great And Powerful Trixie Falls In Love With A Pine Cone by angelofrombelow
Nosflutteratu by Charcoal Quill
In the Sun's Shadow by Rare80
Parsnip by Admiral Biscuit

21 comments:

  1. My first five-star rating! WOOHOO! n.n

    This is seriously galvanizing. I want to write twenty more of these things.

    "This is a wonderfully inventive tale of spooks and ghouls and freaks and fools."

    Teach me more about this Rentaghost, Mr Loganberry.

    "Bloo (a canon but very much background pony)"

    Who only exists for a few seconds from one episode in the entire show, no less. But it's amazing what you can grow from such a scanty seed of a concept.

    (In some ways, it actually helps, as it's the bare minimum anchor for expansion, and ironically this starting limitation is incredibly liberating).

    who Disapproves of Bloo doing things like having fun or eating candy in a way mildly reminiscent of Pinkie's parents."

    I generally interpret Pinkie's parents as being more liberal than they first appear. Sure, they run a tight ship on the rock farm, but you have to be somewhat open-minded to accept Pinkie's radical fun-loving turnaround so quickly, to say nothing of at least letting her move to a more lively town like Ponyville.

    Heck, I think it'd make great comedy, seeing these two humourless parents stoically not bat an eyelid at their crazy daughters' antics.

    "People have mentioned The Nightmare Before Christmas and Monsters, Inc., and not unreasonably – but I caught more than a whiff of Terry Pratchett here as well.¹"

    Firstly, I love that this is the point where you introduce a footnote. You must have planned that, surely? :D

    Secondly, I take that as a massive compliment. The Death series in particular influenced how I wrote Luna in this: dutiful, curious about mortal life, not always as serious as they could be, and yet having a grand, philosophical approach to what I and Neil Gaiman call "backstage". I think this fic actually helped me solidify the IN version of Luna.

    On a tangent, I'm also surprised that, of all the reviews I've seen of this thing, none of them mention Squeaker's part in all this. Admittedly, he's not as central as the two family members, nor does he have the cachet of Luna, but I think of him as an essential component in fleshing out all three (Libertee especially, given that she essentially runs a soup kitchen for old veterans down on their luck, and politely treats Squeaker as a friendly tenant rather than as a horrific monster).

    Also, apparently no one has a problem with his lisping speech (I underlined the lisps to make them more distinguishable from the normal "th" sound), so I'm taking that as a tentative mini-success?

    "perhaps Libertee's backstory falls slightly between two stools in how much we're given"

    I remember Mike criticized that aspect too, though he phrased it more as something unconvincing. Colour me curious. Which two specific stools did you have in mind, or did you mean it seemed somehow generically incomplete?

    It's weird because Libertee might actually be my favourite of the main cast here. Apart from the fact I smuggled in a bit of Rarity when depicting her (the prim and proper aspect), I do love a character whose backstory involves them doing a rebellious 180 against their previous lifestyle. It combines the introspective psychological insight with the layered approach of internal conflict.

    Also, fun fact: I made up one of the character names by slapping the keyboard and seeing what came out. Can you guess which one? :P

    All in all, very, very happy with how this one turned out, and especially with the reception it's gotten so far. n.n Thank you for the encouraging review!

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    1. what the heck episode is she in? :O

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    2. Bloo? She's from "A Friend in Deed", Season Two. Specifically during the Smile Song.

      More details here if you're curious:

      https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/996702/update-give-us-something-sweet-to-bite

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    3. @IN: You're welcome! I know I've given fics of yours strong fours before, so I was delighted to go one better this time.

      Teach me more about this Rentaghost, Mr Loganberry.

      A BBC children's comedy series from the mid-70s to the mid-80s. A recently deceased guy (now a ghost) recruits other loser-type ghosts to work for him. He hires them out to places that have need of supernatural workers. The guy who owns the office is a living human, who only finds out later what's happening.

      For the first three series, this was pretty much the setup. Then one of the main cast died and it was reinvented somewhat. Still popular, but with less of an emphasis on characterisation it gradually became more and more of a pantomime (in the UK sense). So much so that by its final days there was a literal panto horse as a character.

      So... an interesting kids' show that was well written early on, but later turned increasingly to silliness and slapstick, and by the ninth season was a very different animal to what it had started out as. Can't think what that reminds me of... ;)

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    4. @IN (cont'd)

      I generally interpret Pinkie's parents as being more liberal than they first appear.

      Fair. I should probably have said "how Pinkie's parents are commonly represented in fanon".

      [Pratchett]

      The footnote was actually a coincidence, but once I realised what I'd done it had to stay in! :D And the comparison was absolutely meant as a compliment. There's a nice feel of mid-period Pratchett in particular, which is my favourite part of Discworld.

      As for the two specific things I thought were references: the more obvious was "pun, or play on words" -- how you resisted the temptation to write "pune" I'll never know! The other was this:

      "Bloo," said Bloo.

      That's straight out of Mort, surely.

      of all the reviews I've seen of this thing, none of them mention Squeaker's part in all this

      Lack of space, really. If this were a Spotlight review Squeaker would undoubtedly have been mentioned. A great, fun character, who reminds me (again) of 1980s children's TV -- he'd have fitted right into The Trap Door, for a start. As for the "th" thing, I did wonder about it briefly, but I came to what was apparently the right conclusion.

      Which two specific stools did you have in mind, or did you mean it seemed somehow generically incomplete?

      I think this falls into "personal preference", but I'd have liked either more detail on exactly why Libertee reacted so strongly to... events that she felt the need to uproot her entire life forever, or less detail and only a few hints here and there. The latter is doubtless hypocritical from a reviewer (me) who's occasionally complained about obscurity in your fics, but oh well!

      Can you guess which one? :P

      Probably not Squeaker. ;)

      Finally, again, you are very welcome!

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    5. "A BBC children's comedy series from the mid-70s to the mid-80s."

      Ar, you can tell it's for kids when it's got supernatural horrors in it. Ha!

      Your nostalgia's older than mine. Not that you're obliged to answer, but now I'm wondering how old you are, or if you simply have retro tastes in this case.

      "So... an interesting kids' show that was well written early on, but later turned increasingly to silliness and slapstick, and by the ninth season was a very different animal to what it had started out as. Can't think what that reminds me of... ;)"

      Simpsons, obviously.

      "The footnote was actually a coincidence, but once I realised what I'd done it had to stay in! :D And the comparison was absolutely meant as a compliment. There's a nice feel of mid-period Pratchett in particular, which is my favourite part of Discworld."

      That'd be 90s Discworld, between Guards! Guards! and The Truth? I think I've seen you say before that this was your favourite patch of the series, between the narrow genre silliness of the early and the increasing darkness of the late.

      Myself, I love a wider span of books than that, but I have my cutoffs regardless. I tend to think of Wyrd Sisters*, Pyramids**, and definitely Guards! Guards!*** as the point where the series first really hits its stride (the books before are "good, not great"), not long before Good Omens sort of marks the turning point.

      * This one's a bit dated, but codified the Witches trio and does a ton of Shakespearean parody in a surprisingly thoughtful way around the idea of reputation and propaganda.

      ** Really weird compared to the rest of the series, but arguably one of the funniest books.

      *** Guards! Guards! is a fantastic leap forward, and it kicks off the Watch series perfectly. Easily the first one I'd consider "nigh perfect".

      At the other end, I'm fine up until about Making Money, after which the style just feels too clumsy and unnatural (especially in the dialogue), very different from what came before. Unseen Academicals feels like a slog, and that's one I overall still like. The ideas are there, for the most part, but their expression suffers. I think it was due to Terry's declining health.

      And that's without considering the more obscure side series, such as the Nome Trilogy and the Johnny Maxwell books. Please, stop me if I'm getting obsessive.

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    6. Continued...

      "Bloo," said Bloo.

      That's straight out of Mort, surely.


      Afraid not. Just a coincidence, that one.

      The "pun, or play on words" is a deliberate Pratchettism, though. That deserves to be a recognized phrase! I love the faintly puppy-dog silliness of it, like they're saying, "I did something clever! Did you see that!?" :D

      Lack of space, really. If this were a Spotlight review Squeaker would undoubtedly have been mentioned. A great, fun character, who reminds me (again) of 1980s children's TV -- he'd have fitted right into The Trap Door, for a start.

      More insight into the Logan behind the screen, eh? Another childhood favourite?

      I think this falls into "personal preference", but I'd have liked either more detail on exactly why Libertee reacted so strongly to... events that she felt the need to uproot her entire life forever, or less detail and only a few hints here and there. The latter is doubtless hypocritical from a reviewer (me) who's occasionally complained about obscurity in your fics, but oh well!

      Not sure what to make of this: it seems to me that, as you might have guessed, being clearer would still be an improvement over being too cagey. The point seems too subtle for me.

      Was it that you were confused by the details, or that you got the details but they didn't have the impact they should regardless? I'm curious whether it's a matter of detail or simply one of how that detail translates into impact.

      Maybe I'm overthinking it. You don't seem to mind all that much, so I suppose it's nothing to worry about. More a subjective deal?

      Lastly, heh, if you still want one for a Nightmare Night edition, I've probably got another candidate for that too. Come on, let me give you seasonally appropriate nightmares! XD

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    7. Not that you're obliged to answer, but now I'm wondering how old you are, or if you simply have retro tastes in this case.

      Both. I watched the latter series as a kid, but the first ones were a little before my time.

      That'd be 90s Discworld, between Guards! Guards! and The Truth?

      Roughly, though extending a bit earlier. Actually, I have a soft spot for Mort. As you say, Pyramids is strange but fun.

      Another childhood favourite?

      Not this time! The Trap Door was on ITV and ours was for the most part a BBC household. Strange to think such a division existed, but exist it did.

      More a subjective deal?

      Oh yes. I'm not even sure of my own ground on that, and it didn't make any difference to the rating -- it was just such a wonderful read that it would have been a five anyway.

      Come on, let me give you seasonally appropriate nightmares! XD

      Fire away! :D

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    8. "Fire away! :D"

      Darn, I just realized you've already read most of my shorter horror works (also, that Midnight Bloo marks my thirteenth reviewed fic by you!). Erm...

      Well, shortest horror/Nightmare Night story left that I can care about is Mistmane and the Torii of Time, at a comfortable 8k. But if you don't mind longer (like, 20k words?), then alternatively there's Zombie of One, which is the one I'm most proud of, or else Eldritch Fun Times, which is a light, fluffy one and has Fluttershy in it.

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    9. Ooh those look interesting. I'm not sure which yet, but I think it's pretty likely you'll have one of those on the list seem the time comes.

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  2. everbody on board the Bloo train, let's goooo! :D

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  3. So few views despite getting top marks from all four currently active Ponyfic reviewers (that I know of) does show, alas, how relatively small of a difference we make these days in terms of getting more eyeballs on fics. Now, the eyeballs we do get in front of them tend to be very good ones, due to our readerbases. But it is still a little sad.

    But yep, Midnight Bloo be that good. Not much more to add there.

    Pipp of Thesus was the only of Casket's fics I didn't delibretly chose to review way back, being more of a "G5 fic from an author quite good at consistent quality? Hm." And it turns out to be a silly drama mined from a dumb joke sort of fic. Which, yeah, an author's welcome to dabble in that, so I won't judge too harsh. But it is lacking next to the average quality of his Snippets, to say nothing of his high water marks like Stop Number Twelve.

    When was Derpy officially named as Muffins onscreen in EqG, curiously? Don't remember that, which probably means it's one of the shorts I saw once and then never again. But then again, relative to FiM, my memory on its humanised spin-off is not what you might call flawless…

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    1. My memory may be playing tricks on me as regards the name, since I was convinced it was the case but now can't find "Muffins" used outside spin-offs (books and the like). Hmm. My brain is failing. Again. :P

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    2. Yeah, I feel like it was merchandise, where in place of her name, there'd be a picture of a muffin or her face.

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  4. "Four in the AM" may be an Americanism. I do occasionally hear that kind of phrasing, but not under normal circumstances, usually when someone is trying to be cute or add wry emphasis.

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    1. Yeah, it's not completely new to me. Just felt a bit awkward and out of place given how the story as a whole was written.

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    2. Can’t say I’ve ever heard it used here in the States (as opposed to “4 AM” or “4 in the morning”)

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  5. Always excited to see the Spring Fling fics getting attention (for extremely biased reasons).

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    1. Heh, pure coincidence I'm afraid. I'm not much of a shipper, and since most active contests these days seem to be shippy ones I'm afraid I don't pay them much attention. This fic appealed on its own merits. :)

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    2. Ah well. I'd give you recommendations, but I'd end up just recommending the entire results page and beyond. Though the top 3 (from evelili, Oroboro, and heartlessons) are very much worth everyone's time imo.

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    3. Anything by heartlessons in particular is likely to be on my radar anyway, so I may still get around to that one at some point.

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