I've got plans! And capes. As you will see, this post is going up a mere five days after the last one. That's deliberate; I'm hoping to get the rest of S4 done faster than I've been going up until now.
"Writing reviews is easy, I tell you. I can do anything!"
Written by Corey Powell & Meghan McCarthy
26 Apr 2014
My original rating: 7.5/10 (=★★★)
IMDb score: 8.2
Thoughts:
Honestly, my views on this episode haven't changed a lot over the years. I still find it a little bit of a plod, even though watching Rarity become ever more unhinged should be comedy gold. The puppeteer character is quite interesting (though his voice is really strange) but he just fades out of the story. The dark magic spellbook is quite a nice touch, though as with many of these things it's all a bit convenient. On the good side, this is another brilliant performance from Tabitha St. Germain, not quite matching "Simple Ways" but not far off. I also thought the moral was a decent one and – as alluded to in "The one with" – this episode used Owlowiscious quite effectively as a kind of external conscience for Spike. Funny ending too, with Spike's perhaps excessive honesty towards Twilight! On the whole, though, this is just decent for me. Still a three, but I'm nudging it down just a little bit from the very high three it got in 2014.
Choice quote: Rarity: "What does a bird know about architectural design?"
New rating: ★★★
Next up is "Equestria Games", an episode where I honestly have no clue how I'll react, since I've barely watched it for the last seven years.
Want a short review of this one? "Less then the sum of its parts" aptly sums it up. And to be honest, I'm struggling to add much more. I only rewatched this 3 weeks ago and already it's mostly slipped from the mind.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that it lacks in fun content. Rarity is a joy to watch in this one as exemplified by Tabitha, from ice-cream chewing ham through to mad aesthetic mare, even if it doesn't break her to quite the same level as "Simple Ways". Owlowiscious is pretty great himself, honestly, and highlights one way he could have been kept useful, as a good source of conscience-prodding. Alas, he's about to vanish from the show - just cameos in "Twilight's Kingdom - Part 2" and "What About Discord?" alongside photo cameos in the Haber era in store for this avian going forward. And the puppeteer is quite fun in his brief role, with his design, voice and dialogue making for quite a showy personality. The funny moments you mention are all great, and there are others too.
It's worth mentioning that, as much as I don't care for the romantic side of the Rarity/Spike relationship (to say nothing of most fandom interpretations), the friendship is quite sweet. He's always had a chivalrous side, most exemplified in "A Dog and Pony Show" - this time the dragon's doing the rescuing. There's quite a lot connecting the two characters well - the gemstone connection, Rarity being the most traditionally feminine while Spike bears the evidence of being raised by mares and being almost exclusively around them. And, of course, Spike is usually naive and not ambitious (it's amazing how his whole personality makes perfect sense when you consider his upbringing by Twilight), the polar opposite to Rarity, so there's always potential for unorthodox character dynamics.
But I think it leads to Spike being too passive here, and while there is an escalation to his increasing doubt about going along with Rarity, such that his reactions aren't all the same, they're still too samey, and the episode's middle act is left as mostly a series of obligatory Mane 6 cameos while the viewer begs for Spike to cotton on and pony up. Not a good recipe for viewer satisfaction.
That's another reason this episode fades from memory quickly. Elements shift in and out of the script quite mechanically, leaving it episodic in a disjointed way. The puppeteer vanishes after his two early scenes (worth noting that in earlier drafts, he was only present for the inciting incident, and then for an epilogue that showed his puppet show), and I already mentioned the other Mane 6 cameos. The dark spellbook's origin is convenient and pasted-in (though better then being simply in the Golden Oak library on a shelf). The list goes on. This will happen when you end up rewriting most of a script in a hurry.
Lastly, the episode's frantic revision after its 1st draft, while an undeniable improvement, left scars on the script, with many elements unexplained (I'm quite fond of why Rarity was making a puppet theatre in the first place, to branch out her artistic skills). Though the main culprit, that being the abomination of the puppet theater's design, is one of the rare cases of being DHX's fault, given it was scripted as being Rarity's gems and decorations that made it unusable, rather then the end result of its proportions, meaning it couldn't be just stripped of those things. Bit of a mind boggler, that!
[You might gather a lot changed with this episode's production. Check out the Production Changes for more.]
Like a lot of Spike episodes, this ends up being amusable and diverting, but the undercooked nature to much of it prevents it from rising much higher. Whenever this episode comes up, people almost invariably have a "oh yeah, forgot about that one" type reaction, which is quite fitting. Pity, as there's nuggets in here, they're just buried too deep to resonate much.
“Inspiration Manifestation” - Production Changes
ReplyDeleteCorey Powell wrote this alone at first, but Meghan McCarthy and Dave Polsky took additional writing credit from the 2nd draft onwards. Dave Polsky vanished in the final script (which had no changes otherwise) - never before have we seen someone lose a writing credit! As we'll see, something very unusual happened with this episode, which will explain the above writer shuffle.
[I sometimes wonder if people even read these. Well, despite the length, and explaining this episode's problems, these changes aren't all that interesting. So I wouldn't blame you for skipping this one!]
PREMISE
Not even a placeholder title at this stage, funnily enough. The Premise is much shorter too, only one paragraph spanning half a page. It cuts off as Spike realises he has to tell Rarity the truth even if it means losing her as a friend (so, at the third act), and the inciting incident is simply Rarity being in a creative slump. But otherwise, this is a solid pitch (due to cutting off before the climax, it reads like the minutes from a writer's retreat).
OUTLINE AND 1ST SCRIPT
Much like Leap of Faith, this episode's outline has the same broad plot, but is vastly different in specifics and shares very little specific incident. And this carried through to the first script, before the 2nd script scrapped almost everything and started over. Any differences between the outline and 1st script, for there are few, will be noted at the bottom.
Episode starts on Rarity working frantically in the Boutique, saying she needs to diversify. Spike is present for her first Rare-iot (it's reduced to a cameo in the final episode, but is a constant here). When the puppeteer dismisses the impractical mess, he also calls Spike out on obviously lying - once he's gone Spike still insists it's great despite Rarity's questioning. As such, no Foal and Filly Fair inciting incident. Rarity cannot find it in her to improve the Rare-iot.
Spike finds the book in the Golden Oak library on a normal shelf, with Owlowiscious eventually pointing him to it (we also get him admitting the Rare-iot isn't good or useful, but it's great because it's Rarity's). There's no flashy visual of Rarity being taken over by the dark magic - it's only when she says the book needs to look nice that it suddenly does. Spike only notices something's amiss when he bows, claps and applauds as Rarity mentions ponies doing those things for her.
No second scene with the puppeteer - the next few scenes show Rarity "improving" her friends, though the specifics and order differ. She gives Big Mac a large apple hat and puts Applejack in a pony-sized sandwich board pointing to her cart. She ruins Fluttershy's running drills with butterflies (yeah, it is weird) by enlarging their wings/decorating them with glitter. Rainbow Dash's dress weighs her down rather than her erratic flying being a result of trying to get it off. Finally, the party is a snobby, fancy garden party that Rarity messes by adding more candles to the cake (the pony yells at Pinkie that they're not that old), among further mishaps, all to Pinkie's desperation in trying to fix things.
At this point, the episode starts diverting more, as Rarity makes the grass blue and gives ponies flowers in their hair (a pegasus can't tell the sky from the ground and a unicorn sneezes from the roses), makes the lamps by dancing trees with glowing orbs, makes a massive square fountain, paves the roads with valet (which tangles carts and legs). Twilight is far more on the case, citing all the damage and more (hazardous building of lace and flowers, a sharp sidewalk of jewels that hurts to touch, drooping plants in the blue soil, etc.), while Spike feigns innocence. The gazebo is also threatening to tip over from being crystal, or starting to.
[outline and 1st script continued below]
[outline and 1st script continued from above]
DeleteThe real difference comes in the climax, centred at the Boutique as Rarity sets her sighs on the two heading to Manehattan to spread her work. Spike tries to use the packing as a distraction to get the book, but Rarity's instantaneous changes to her Rare-iots knock it onto a table.
What follows is three whole pages of Spike trying to get the book, but getting gradually immobilised by Rarity's changes. A heavy sweater for the cold Manehattan weather locks his arms; a poncho forces him to inch on the floor like a worm; others ponies get as locked same as Spike when Rarity muses they should dress like him; he overflows with traction from rosebuds and cottontails, forced to roll. Finally, right as Rarity says everyone should breathe fire and have spikes, Spike yells, knocking the book far away enough for Rarity to snap out of it. His confession and pointing out everything gets Rarity to see the light, and she uses the book while in control to free Spike. They both realise the lesson (there is a little more emphasis on Rarity's ideas perhaps needing time and work to be good), and are about to burn the book when Twilight interrupts, leading the others. It's a library book, and they need it to fix the work of the perpetrator. Spike says he'll be there to help.
The episode ends on Spike's narrated journal entry as we see him helping Rarity fix things (keeping Rarity in check as she uses the book to fix things), turning down one fabric Rarity presents such that she thinks hard before picking a better one, and everypony enjoying a show from the puppeteer on an improved Rare-iot.
Discounting more detail from the longer length, very little changes from the outline to the script. The puppeteer calling Spike out on lying is replaced with him saying Rarity couldn't have spent any time on the theatre, because she would have realised it's useless. Also, the final narrated journal entries has half from Spike, and half from Rarity.
That is a LOT of differences. Honestly, it's not too hard to see why it was retooled - the outline/script is muddy and unfocused and padded, which is saying something given the final episode still feels somewhat so. The inciting incident is weaker, there's far more plot holes (the book's in the public library?), many of the changes to ponies and Ponyville throughout the second act are less funny, the effects and morals are presented a bit subtly for the target audience. And those 3 pages of Spike flopping to the book feel fully three times the appropriate length. It's certainly one of the longest 34 pages scripts I've ever had to wade through. Unlike Leap of Faith, where 1/3 of the scenes still broadly matched the final episode in incident and dialogue, almost nothing here carries over - even the similar scenes have different lines due to different details (like the absence of the Foal and Filly Fair).
REMAINING SCRIPTS
The next draft is dated 3 months later, and I suspect was all Meghan McCarthy's work with some assistance from Dave Polsky - they didn't even bother to iterate the previous script, but started from a new document. Perhaps due to this time pressure, it's quite short, just over 29 pages.
Thankfully, it's a good match to the final episode - mostly just the standard array of incidental line differences scattered throughout, present more in chucks of several lines than individual ones. The most notable difference is the bit of Rarity changing the grass to blue and giving ponies flowers is retained. Rarity also puts Spike in a sweater rather then a gem suit (Rarity finds winter the most aesthetically pleasing season), something he has to dissuade Twilight film as she's on the hunt before she's called away to free fliers from a snow bank.
[rest of production changes continued below]
[remaining scripts continued from above]
DeleteThe climax is in the Boutique, mostly matching the final episode, though with some dialogue being different but functionally identical. After Rarity doesn't have the book, she says that everypony should be more like Spike, and everypony is suddenly purple with green manes and breathing fire. After Spike confesses, Rarity comforts him, and she says all the dialogue about what happened and the lesson that he says in the episode. Twilight bursts in on this, informed by Owlowiscious (both Spike-coloured), but they've already fixed things.
Since this was basically the real first draft, given the actual first draft was almost totally discarded, the number of differences above are excusable. Virtually all of them are changed by the polish script. A second iteration changes one line to have Spike mention Owlowiscious by name, and the locked polish dismisses Dave Polsky from the writing credits, giving us a 29.5 page script.
ANIMATIC & OTHER CHANGES
Despite the script’s short length, it still has some line shortening. It’s important to understand that storyboard artists always add lots of visual business, Most of this that requires focused screentime tends to get cut for time due to being unessential. However, the shorter script meant that, after tightening up many lines for better pacing (even if it doesn’t fix the protracted feel overall, it always helps), they could keep more additions.
Notable cuts/changes include:
* The original puppet theatre didn’t work because of Rarity’s embellishments (jewels preventing the wheels from spinning, decorations crowding the display) rather then its proportions. The puppeteer also mentions he always has a curtain rod and an old bed sheet, yelling for a door frame to set up in. Unneeded info, as we see him doing so later anyway.
* The party has different visuals and reactions (Rarity turned a pinta’s contents to jewels and a chocolate fountain to an ice sculpture, to verbal disappointment from the foals). Pinkie also came up before the end, reacting with shock at a cake turning into pimento cheese sandwiches, which, in her words, “never fixed anything!”
* Twilight’s first talk with Spike had more dialogue on her noticing the abnormalities.
* Spike pleading for Owlowiscious’ help to distract Rarity, rather than the owl winking and helping right away. Spike also swallowed the book before Rarity turned around, rather than as a last resort (good change, it’s funnier this way).
* Twilight opening the library door showed Luna and Cadence flying away in the background.
Board additions include:
* The opening shot of the Fair only had two visuals before going inside the Boutique - most of the visuals, including Rarity’s parents appearing, came from storyboarding.
* The ascending staircase to the book, and it crumbling while Spike remained oblivious.
* A more extravagant visual of the magic leaving Rarity - originally it happened off-camera anticlimactically.
* Some mutations by Rarity not in the script.
* Emphasising the “Saved by the Bell” reference when Spike says “I’m so scared”.
Animatic feedback mostly centres on plussing some reactions (especially the magic leaving Rarity). They liked the use of dutch angles throughout and recommended more, and also raised concern about Spike and Rarity being out of view when making most of their changes, so they're not suspected. The Hub had some concerns about the party’s “this doesn’t have a theme!” not landing, given it did have a theme.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Unlike Leap of Faith, which hid its massive revision well and benefitted from it, the scars of doing so here are present, mostly in an undernourished conflict and a padded episode that reiterates a lot. Still, the revisions are smart, that original script was a mess and a chore to wade through. Just because the final result is problematic doesn't mean it didn't improve along the way.
For the record, I read all of these, and they've all been fascinating. :D
DeleteThose changes left out of the party were pretty funny, at least.
Cheers for that :)
DeleteI suppose I more mean it's hard to say much about them. Season 4 is so largely untroubled in production, at least in terms of these official documents (who knows what kind of debate went between executives and crew in the season's gestation and the status quo changes for the sake of Buy Our Toys?), that for most episode, changes are just the natural result of smoothening and polishing it as it goes along. Even I mostly just nod and go "yeah, right call" there to most actual differences. Very rarely is there cut or changed material of actual, proper note, and I usually highlight it when it is. And since outside of season Premieres and Finales, little in one episode affects another, they barely register outside of that episode.
Put it another way, a lot of these Production Changes are dull enough that one wouldn't include them even on a comprehensive behind-the-scenes DVD (notwithstanding that only really works for storyboarded bits)!
That said, keep your eyes peeled for the last three episode of Season 4. I've already researched and documented those and, well… there's some huge doozies in there. There's one earth-shattering thing in "Twliight's Kingdom - Part 2", relating to the status quo changes. Something that makes something across Season 4 make much more sense, and also another thing in the intervening season make sense too, considering what was originally planned. Hope that whets your appetite!
I sometimes wonder if people even read these.
DeleteI always read them, and enjoy them quite a lot! Thank you for taking the time to do such comprehensive breakdowns of the process.
I've got to agree with the apparent consensus here. This is a just okay episode that, judging by its parts, ought to have been top-tier.
Oh yeah, forgot about that one. :V
ReplyDeleteHonestly, other than the book itself (and the horribly questionable "Foal and Filly" name), this really is a forgettable episode. Which is weird, since it's actually one of the darkest of the show's run. I mean, Rarity was poised to conquer/destroy all of Equestria there, something it seems at the climax she's 100% capable of.
I keep forgetting about how conceptually terrible the "Foal and Filly Fair" is - akin to calling it the "Child and Girl Fair"! Then again, thing is the show show who's wedding vows initially pronounced the couple as "mare and colt" - I'm often against phasing out the pony things as the show went on, but for that I have no objection to scaling it back to "husband and wife" in "The Perfect Pair".
DeleteIsn't is always kind of fascinating when an episode is based in some ghoulish, ghastly, nightmare-level scenario that it just never acknowledges, hoping/asusming (correctly) that the fantasy and fiction remove will make such elements not register to the viewer. To be frank, many kids's shows/franchises are based in stuff like this at the ground level (Pokemon: "Shh, don't think about the fact of elementary school children roaming the country unsupervised and stripping wild animals for their natural habitats and forcing them to battle in glorified cockfights, just enjoy the cute little yellow mouse doing cute little yellow mouse things"), and it really is just… bizarre at times, isn't it?
Now, FiM's show setup isn't that, but aspects of some episodes are, like Rarity's degrading madness and what she's starting to do towards the end. We saw aspects of this, like Twilight freeing ponies trapped in the gazebo, but there were many more in the Outline and older scripts. What's acceptable and isn't in kids' shows is truly bizarre sometimes - seems to come down to whether the behaviour is imitatable.
[Course, none of this has a patch in sending a child to Pony Hell when an adult nuclear terrorist was easily forgiven, but let's not go there.]
I also read all of your production notes Mike- I really enjoy them. I just usually don't have anything to say about them because they're so comprehensive.
ReplyDeleteAs for this episode, being one of three episodes this season with an "...and Meghan McCarthy" writing credit, I'd long suspected it was one with a difficult writing process. It doesn't cohere as well as it should do. That said there's enough amusing or entertaining bits that I still find the episode overall quite fun. Highlights include "another carton of vanilla oat swirl", Spike completely failing to notice the stairs collapsing behind him, "Princess Cadance and Princess Luna have much better things to do" and of course Owlowiscious's reactions to Spike's actions. There's also little in the way of character idiocy or things to make me actively dislike this episode, so it's not too bad. Three stars feels about the right call.
I like this one because Rarity is best pony, though it's not the best of her focus episodes. At least the stakes went up each time, but I can only take "Spike can't admit what he really thinks" so much before it gets old. Plus it seemed a very haphazard way of concealing that book in the first place. If it was so important and dangerous, surely Celestia would have come around looking to remove it to Canterlot at some point. On the whole, it's pretty good. Three stars easy, maybe edging to four.
ReplyDeleteIf it was so important and dangerous, surely Celestia would have come around looking to remove it to Canterlot at some point.
DeleteThough, especially as the series goes on, there does seem to be quite a spate of "powerful item left lying around" in Equestria.