For those of you interested in the longer fics I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I expect to have the first one reviewed this month. I won't yet give away which fic it is, except to say that it's one that's been on my radar for quite some time. This week, I'm looking at these three:
Yours Truly by Thanqol
If My Heart Was A Compass by Astrarian
A Feather in Her Cap by GaryOak
★: 0 | ★★: 0 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.
Yours Truly by Thanqol
Twilight, Applejack and Mane Six
Romance/Sad; 19k words; Apr 2012; Everyone
Distance can drive us apart. It can also bring us closer together.The Mane Six's lives have moved on, and most of them have left Ponyville. Twilight is one, starting a new life in academia – but being around hundreds of ponies doesn't mean you can't be lonely. This story is written almost entirely in letter format, with various sender/recipient pairs involved, and it's one of the most successful examples of the genre I've seen. That's largely because the letters read like letters, without the irritations (unconvincing crossings out...) that so many epistolatory fics fall victim to. I also like the central relationship that builds up between Twilight and Applejack, in particular the side of AJ it allows us to see. The story does show its age occasionally – a few aspects of it wouldn't work with the denser Equestrian rail network of more recent seasons – and the Sparity is dialled up to levels higher than I would personally prefer. Pinkie's character seems a little off at times, too: one line about Opal, though obviously intended as a joke, left a slightly unpleasant taste. The central part of the story, though, the letters between Twi and AJ, is emotionally strong and gripping in all the right ways, plus we get some nice world-building along the way. That's why this gets a four (albeit a lowish four) and a recommendation. ★★★★
If My Heart Was A Compass by Astrarian
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Spitfire
Romance/Slice of Life; 6k words; Jun 2020; Everyone
Spitfire says some things about beds and Rainbow Dash makes some decisions about where to rest her head.More romance! This time, though, PinkieDash is an established fact from the word go. Rainbow is touring with the Wonderbolts but can't sleep well in their luxury hotel. She is, unsurprisingly, missing her marefriend. Dash, who pleasingly is the slightly more mature variety of recent seasons, talks to Spitfire – and her captain also seems to be having sleeping problems. This is unashamed romantic fluff, and why not? What makes it for me is the old-school atmosphere: Dash being a 'Bolt aside, most of this could have been written in S2, when ponies being cute was still all many people wanted from a fic. This is a story to turn to when you've had enough of the real 2020 and just want to settle down into, well, a nice comfy bed of ponyness. Also, I adore the passing reference, also old-school in feel, that among the dubious delights of Las Pegasus are its all-night ice cream parlours. This is a very solid three. ★★★
A Feather in Her Cap by GaryOak
Scootaloo, CMCs and Rainbow Dash
Slice of Life; 7k words; Jul 2013; Everyone
By Scootaloo's age, Rainbow Dash had won many competitions. As Ponyville's Annual Bounceball Competition approaches, Scootaloo dreams of following in her hoofsteps. With her drive, she knows nothing will stop her... except, perhaps, herselfNo romance here, but again it's pretty reminiscent of something that might have happened in the show of the early seasons – we even get a letter to Celestia at the end. Scoot's problem is that she's developing a cold – though the other CMCs are concerned that perhaps it could be something worse. (As an aside, worrying about that seems perfectly relevant in 2020!) Still, Rainbow Dash is going to be there, and Scootaloo can't let her down. With the help of her friends, she will make it. We follow her through her training and to the big day itself, as well as finding out a few things about how Rainbow sees matters. One or two of the jokes don't quite land, notably a bit about AJ and oranges, but I have to credit a story that can plausibly have Scootaloo insisting that she's "not a little hoarse". Nothing staggering here, but it's a cute thing that's a little more than just a time-passer.
One other thing. "This story has been read and approved by Maddy 'Scootaloo' Peters," proclaims the long description. Here's GaryOak's comment explaining what happened. For an active show staffer to openly read fanfic of that show is vanishingly rare. I'm in awe. ★★★
Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed should include Cold in Gardez's The Carnivore's Prayer.
I'm a little surprised "Yours Truly" was brushing the bottom of the 4 level for you, since it's broadly considered an exemplar of good writing. I do have a few problems with it, though. Where they may spoil plot events, I'll keep it vague.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I agree with you that this exudes realistic letter format at all times. I never had the sense that the author crammed things into it that were out of place for the format. I haven't read it in a long time, so I was a little surprised to see you say it was mostly told as letters. I hadn't remembered any portion of it that wasn't. If so, I would consider that a weakness. I've seen that done before, where someone chooses a gimmick for a story, only to abandon it when it becomes inconvenient. In most cases, I'd say that maybe the author shouldn't have chosen that gimmick in the first place.
The main beefs I have with this story are certainly not unique to it, as they're very common conceits in the fandom. The first one is that if any of the characters (usually Pinkie) turn to piracy, it's treated very whimsically, with no effort made by law enforcement to stop it. I'm never sure whether Celestia doesn't consider it wrong or just doesn't care enough to do anything about it. Her friends here certainly don't ever say anything to dissuade her from a life of crime.
Second is that this small group of friends completely or nearly pair up in romantic relationships. Adding in Spike here, there are 6 of the 7 that end up in couples with each other, which is incredibly unlikely.
But again, those two are such common things you just have to accept in fanfiction that they're not going to bother me but so much. The one that did bug me more is that the drama around Apple Bloom felt too manufactured for me. She knew what was happening and how urgent it was, and yet she never made more than the most perfunctory attempt to contact Twilight. Were it a side plot, that might be minor, but as it leads to the whole point of the story, what's a nice and heartfelt climax is propped up by a somewhat rickety foundation.
Still, a good story, and one of the best examples of how to do epistolary storytelling well.
I wouldn't say brushing the bottom of the four-star band, just a bit below halfway. If you think of that band as 3.5 to 4.5, I'd probably give this story a 3.8 or 3.9. It didn't blow me away, so it certainly wasn't a five. On the other hand, it clearly did more for me than even a high three. It would probably have been smack in the middle of that four-star band without the little irritations I mentioned.
DeleteI was a little surprised to see you say it was mostly told as letters. I hadn't remembered any portion of it that wasn't.
The one exception comes just after Pipsqueak's letter, with the passage that begins, "Surrounded by letters, the night princess stood on the balcony."
I was interested to read Chris's review, since it turns out he really did not like Fluttershy's characterisation. Maybe time has changed things, but that aspect didn't especially bother me.
Mind you, something that's struck me on reading a few reviews now is that many go along the lines of, "This is very good overall, and the letter format works excellently, but [little complaints]" – and those little complaints seem to vary a lot from reader to reader.
Thanks for the review, Logan! A few people have commented that they got an old-school vibe from the story, and that's something I'm pleased with. I wonder how much of that naturally stemmed from the fact that a good third of the piece was written in 2016/2017 - I just didn't think of how to complete the rest until this year!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! I do like finding stories which feel like they were written in 2012... but without the problems that tended to plague older fics, eg pervasive LUS. Yours was a fine example. :)
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