Stop the Journey?I can see a couple of places where I could have thought of slightly better wording, but I don't think it's too shabby on the whole. Also, it scans. The number of poems I read that rhyme but don't scan (and not for deliberate stylistic reasons, either) is absolutely enormous. Anyway, you can probably guess what Stop the Journey? is about, but I'll spoiler-tag it in case you'd rather work it out on your own:
Yes, I remember, long ago,In mind's eye still I see
My friends and I adventuring:
A time when we were three.
Those days are gone, no more are weA trio bound as one:
Though memories shall never fade,
Crusading days are done.
Sometimes I dream about it still:That carefree, far-off youth
When all of us, in friendship, sought
To find eternal truth.
Time waits for nopony, of course,And nothing can I do
But wait till we are three again,
Adventuring anew.
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Another runner-up minific by me: Stop the Journey?
My second-place contestfic count is now up to three! This time, my silver medal comes courtesy of the Weekly Contests group's contest #13, which was for poetry and had the prompt "Numbers". I chose not to do the optional challenge of writing about an OC, incidentally. I'm quite pleased with second place, as the winner was a really rather impressive sonnet (which you can see at the link above) and the moment I saw it, I was fairly sure it was going to win. Anyway, here's my poem:
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And once again, that's something that you can certainly be very proud of! I'm certainly really impressed, but then with the quality of your writing, it's definitely good that it's paying off. Who knows, the elusive first place could only be a matter of time!
ReplyDeleteThe poem itself? Well, it definitely does scan, having just read it out loud(ish) and from my own personal point of view, I couldn't see anything that I thought was out of place or was worded wrong. And it seemed, even without clicking the spoiler tag, to have quite a sad feeling. I did figure out what it was about, and more to the point who it was about, and that certainly added to the rather sad, wistful feel. Which definitely came across very strongly, so I'd say you captured that emotion perfectly. I do like those last two lines in particular though, because despite the general theme, that gave hope to it all that one day, they'd all be together again, somewhere.
I don't really have much to say in reply other than thank you! :) And you'll be unsurprised to hear that that little touch of hope was most definitely intended.
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