Wednesday 15 February 2023

Ponyfic Roundup 430: Spotlight on Three Wishes: The Cutie Mark Crusaders Before They Changed The World

Read it Later story count: 106 (+7)

Words read this week: 69,046

As I said the last time my RiL count jumped like that: don't panic. I've only read one fic this week, after all. That number will fall again soon – and in any case, my aim for years has been to have it bouncing around 100, not to have it dive much further downwards. With that out of the way, it's time to look at a classic CMC story that's not a million miles away from celebrating a decade of publication. I'd thought about reading this on and off for years, but had never quite got round to it. Now I have!

Three Wishes: The Cutie Mark Crusaders Before They Changed The World by Xepher
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, CMCs [tagged as well] and Mane Six
G4 AU; Adventure; 69k words; Oct
Nov 2013; Teen

The Crusaders learn that they aren't like other ponies. As they uncover the secrets of their origins, the trio grow closer than ever, discovering not only their unique nature, but the incredible power that comes with it as well.

The fillies are in fact not ponies at all, but golems. Interesting! This is not the big spoiler it may appear, as it's revealed pretty early on and it's how the Crusaders come to terms with their true identities that matters. This is done pretty decently overall but covered in a rather uneven way, with some passages almost shouting how much pacier they'd have been if more toughly edited. Other scenes, especially later in the fic, are faster-paced, exciting, moving and satisfying. A few also contain some interesting and quite original world-building. It is worth the occasional slog to get to these – and also worth enduring Pinkie's crucial part in events, which feels much older than late 2013 in tone and is by far my least favourite aspect but which happily doesn't take up much of the overall word count. So, a slightly rough ride in places, but the boat never actually capsizes. If you're struggling with some of the overlong descriptive passages, I think it's worth pushing through. ★★★

Only continue past the page break if you're okay with significant spoilers.

Let's start with the really quite impressive fact that Xepher made a frankly rather silly premise largely work. Although this was written well after Friendship is Witchcraft had made Sweetie Bot a thing, Three Wishes' Sweetie doesn't feel like a copy. Apple Bloom's scarecrow origins have a touch of the fairytale about them, and it's a shame that aspect is barely mentioned later on. Scootaloo's origin is maybe the hardest to swallow, but it doesn't really get in the way of her adventures later on.

The world-building, as mentioned, is quite fun, although there isn't an enormous amount of it. Treating caribou as Viking analogues works pretty well and ties in to the "world tree" Rupert. Yes, Rupert. It's one of the little bits of silliness that the fic can throw at you from time to time, and I found this one really rather endearing. Meanwhile, there's a nice little section in Scootaloo's flight sequence in which she sees the world from above and remembers Luna's help. (When the fic was published, "Sleepless in Ponyville" was under a year old.)

As I touched on in the non-spoilery summary, some of the best stuff in Three Wishes comes in the back half. The fight with the giant timberwolf is a real highlight and is genuinely thrilling and frightening. I'm not absolutely sure that Apple Bloom being able to bring Applejack back from the dead is ideal, even if its "love conquers all" message is very touching – a possible problem for the sequel, if it's ever finished (see below) is that by the end of the fic the fillies seem pretty seriously OP, absent a massively powerful opponent or two. Still, the resurrection scene was apparently the core of Xepher's original idea for the fic, so it's hard to argue too much.

Possibly we see a hint of how this will be dealt with late on, when instead of doling out righteous zaps, the three-legged Sweetie descends from the thousand-foot treehouse to commune and sing with the timberwolves she killed one of all that time earlier. (I do have to acknowledge that a story that can make that work has to be doing something right.) Of course, superheroes make perfectly good, well, heroes – but they do have to have some weaknesses or they quickly become boring. I'll reserve judgement for the moment.

Pacing, as I hinted above the break, can be a significant issue in this fic. While once again things improve after halfway, until then there are several sequences which go on way too long. One clear example of this is the early section with Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow talking about their sisters' origins. The story's apparent desire to mention every little thing for all three fillies means it takes forever and robs the revelations of a little of their magic. Similarly, Scootaloo's race-flying stuff could really have done with a pruning of the detailed science. Mention some, sure, but not that much.

While we're in the realm of problems, I have to address Pinkie Pie. Her part is the one bit of Three Wishes that I found actively infuriating. Granted, in 2013 she hadn't quite become the deeper character we glimpsed from "Pinkie Pride" onwards, but she still wasn't as one-dimensional as she is here. Inexplicably turning up in apparently impossible places to offer magic cupcakes from a genie (via a Genie) is desperately reminiscent of very early fics, and I'm talking the first half of 2011 here. By late 2013, the impression given of "It's Pinkie Pie, I don't gotta explain anything" really doesn't cut it in a tale like this. Fortunately, though she's the catalyst for the whole story, she doesn't actually appear much.

Twilight plays quite a useful supporting role as the pony who (of course) is fascinated by the whole golem thing – in fact, she discovers that word – and works hard to help the CMCs when they need her. Scootaloo's admittedly slightly belief-stretching conversion to theoretical-physics-devouring bookworm is a good example. I also appreciated Twi's canon-compliant rejection of the existence of healing spells when AJ lay dying. Fluttershy has a small but nice part, while Celestia turns up a couple of times, though her appearances although important are not long-lasting.

A few other bits and bobs to mention. Oddly, the scenes when the Crusaders actually get their marks feel a little underplayed. Maybe it was the level of adventure that surrounded them. Much the same applies to Sweetie's "paw", even if it does tie in to her later scene with the timberwolves. The unreformed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have minor parts in their bully roles; we didn't know about Diamond's mum at this point, of course. While Lavender Unicorn Syndrome isn't that bad, it is around and "the filly" in particular is considerably overused in places.

Finally... as well as a short Hearth's Warming special, which I expect to read at some point, there's a sequel in progress. The snag there is not so much that it's already almost twice the length of Three Wishes, but that it's been in progress since 2014 and hasn't updated at all for nearly five years. Xepher did state an intention to finish the sequel a year ago, which is more than most authors of long-unfinished fics ever do, but nothing has been added since. I'll probably read it if it is ever done, but it's far from being the certainty it would have been were it complete already.

But Three Wishes itself is an interesting story. Present Perfect's summary was "I won't say this is high art, but I definitely liked it" and that's probably pretty close to my overall opinion too. There is a little frustration that it could have been even better with some technical tidying here and there, a much more convincing Pinkie and a fairly tough touch of "kill your darlings" on some of those protracted descriptive passages. But even as it stands, treat the first few chapters as scene-setting and there's a pretty lively story waiting.


Next week, I hope that stories reviewed will include The Cloptimist's StarTrix romance Âme Câline.

16 comments:

  1. I'm kinda sad I have no real memories of this fic, because it sounds like it was fun regardless of flaws. :)

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    1. Yeah, I had a decent time with it. The big thing was that it was different, and that made the downsides worth the effort.

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  2. It wasn't mentioned here, but the idea of "Viking caribou" undoubtedly came from an offhand comment by Lauren Faust in a 2013 Ponychan Q&A.

    Q: Mrs. Faust, did you have any plans for more including creatures from different cultures of the world, were there and could there be more of them in the future, and could we possibly see more in the future?

    A: Yes, I was planning/hoping for more creatures and more cultures---- I wanted Viking Caribou!!!!!

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    1. Thanks. I probably did see that back in 2013, but I will confess that I had totally forgotten it. Maybe I wasn't keen on thinking about caribou in an MLP context because of a... thing that I can guarantee I will never, ever review here. One reason I was pleased to see them in Three Wishes was exactly that they weren't that... thing.

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  3. I'd just like to add that I've hung around with Xepher a few times. He's a really stand-up guy and fun to be around. One of my favorite pony writers that I've met in real life. - xjuggernaughtx

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    1. That is very good to hear! Thanks for that. :)

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  4. Pacing seems to be a personal taste sort of thing. There are a couple of "fandom classics" that a lot of people highly recommend, that I have wasted hours and hours on, waiting for something, anything to happen. Some people like that sort of pacing, it seems.

    I do not.

    I did finish this but, like PP, I can't remember much about it, except for my dislike of the portrayal of Pinkie, and how slow it felt.
    Looking at my library shelf I see I gave it ★★. at the time.

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    1. I don't necessarily mind languid pacing myself, as long as it's part of a deliberate atmosphere. With Three Wishes it felt unnecessary, and the fact that nearly all the really slow stuff is in the first half means (I suspect) that some readers will bomb out before what to my mind are the much livelier later chapters.

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    2. While not quite as heavily as iisaw, I do tend to lean more towards the school of faster pacing so something happens, as my objective taste goes. Possibly also it's that professionally-published fiction has leaned me on economic writing, and of course I don't expect the same level or density of that from fanfic (when it does show up, it's very nice), but it does make cases of languished pacing more noticeable. I certainly tend to not be a fan of long fics improvising themselves as they go, though of course there are exceptions. That said, I have read plenty of fics and novels that succeeded despite slack pacing, usually where there's a atmosphere or tone being evoked that works, not unlike yourself. It just takes somewhat stronger execution for this ghost, is all.

      In the case of Three Wishes I suspect most of the slack pacing coming in the first half is a result of the author partly improvising the story, growing more familiar with the characters and plot, and all that. That and some of the other issues you discussed sounded like enough that I passed on it, despite its other strengths. I'm always gonna go to bat for a fic that includes a real-world or fictional species as an analogue to a real-world culture when done right, and this sounds along that line.

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    3. Sorry, that was me above. Not like me to forgot to switch from Anonymous!

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    4. @Mike -- That Hearth's Warming special I mentioned is a caribou legend, so I'll be interested to see how that works when I get there. (As the short is complete, I am planning to read it, though I doubt it will be soon.)

      On pacing it's interesting, I think I tend to have less time for slow crawls in professionally published fiction -- and sadly that's hardly immune from this, in some branches of fantasy for a start. Admittedly part of that's personal preference: I very rarely read 800-page doorstop fantasy novels.

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    5. @Mike -- I'd like to make it clear that this is a particular personal hobgoblin with me, and that I know lots of people get a great deal of enjoyment out of "languid" fics. But I'm the sort who cranks up YouTube videos to 1.5 or 2x speed, and text-to-speech readers to 2.5x or more. So, just because I rage-quit a story or vid for being glacial doesn't mean it's objectively bad, just bad for me.

      @Logan -- I find a lot of modern stuff to be Too Day-um Slow myself, and as for doorstop fantasy books, they usually hop around between many different groups or individuals, and in an 800-page boat-anchor, you only get a 100 or so pages with the really interesting characters. As for series... *glares in George R. R. Martin's general direction* ...my vow to not begin reading unfinish fanfic now includes published works.

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    6. @iisaw -- Oh no, don't worry, I got that buddy, you're good. I was implying that I myself only had a less severe version of that – it takes a lot to make me rage-quit something, though that's partially because I carefully scrutinise what I start to begin with. Me stating that most fiction could stand to be faster-paced these days is fully my own opinion here.

      And cranking the playback speed up to 1.5-2.5x speed… that's a flashback to innumerable videos watched during college I didn't expect to have tonight! Not something I tap into much these days, naturally, though perhaps something to consider… I also confess I'm still very much in the phase of finding the artificiality of text-to-speech far too distracting to really make use of it myself. Probably it just takes persistent use until one's immune to it.

      In any case, I can gladly report that when I do start publishing that Ponyfic adventure novel I'm working on (hopefully this year, but not guaranteed), the pacing and density of incident will more than comfortably fit within your wheelhouse. An economy of writing comes when one primarily learns creative writing via screenwriting in their youth. :)

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    7. "...the pacing and density of incident will more than comfortably fit within your wheelhouse."

      (Channeling Bluey) Hooray!!!

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    8. Some time ago, I remember reading a ponyfic that was deliberately written at a ridiculously fast pace, I think because Rainbow Dash was telling a story and wasn't the sort to hang around. It was actually good fun, but I can't for the life of me remember the title now.

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    9. Sounds like fun! I'd probably react with, "Finally! A decently paced story!"

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