Ponyfic Roundup 265: Feghoot winners, part 2

Read it Later story count: 236 (nc)

Right then, it's time for me to look at the six best-placed entries in the Fimfiction Feghoot Festival! I've been looking forward to this, and I'm really hoping for something pretty special once I get to the sharp end. Will I be satisfied on that score? There's only one way to find out, so off we go.

6th: Roc Banned by AlexTFish
5th: Rarity Borrows a Knife by AlexTFish
4th: Ghost Butters by DragonGeek
3rd: A Diamond Dog Applies For a Loan by Twinkletail
2nd: Si vis bellum, para scilis by TheDriderPony
1st: Into the Twily-verse by Raugos

★: 0 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 3 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 0

Roc Banned by AlexTFish
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Mayor Mare and Maud Pie
Comedy; 2k words; Jul 2019; Everyone

Mayor Mare commissions Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie to drive away a roc that's nesting near Ponyville. Will they be able to persuade it to leave? Or will the threat of bad puns become too great?

First up this week is a fic by the only author to win a prize here that I've actually met in person (at a past UK PonyCon). It doesn't disappoint, either, with a nice sprinkling of amusing puns. I was also pleased to see a roc used in ponyfic for what I think is the first time in any story I've read. The highlight, though, is Maud, who is written very well. As for the ending pun? It's not at all bad and isn't even one I've seen before. A very solid three-star fic to begin with, then. ★★★

Rarity Borrows a Knife by AlexTFish
Rarity and Applejack
Equestria Girls/Romance/Comedy; 1k words; Jun 2019; Everyone

Rarity has a creative design in mind. What does she have to do to get the tools she needs?

Yes, the same author snagged sixth and fifth places. This fic is rather different, as its tags will suggest. It has quite a nice setup which ties together its (and Rarity's!) loose ends eventually. We get a truly painful – in a good way – extended pun near the end, though I'm not altogether sure I like the fact that the fic continues for a little while after that point. There's also an epilogue, which does finish with a (shorter but also painful) pun. I'm not convinced that human Rainbow Dash (who briefly features) would mishear "filigree" as "fillies". A top-end two as I'm not quite as enamoured of this one's pun(s). ★★

Ghost Butters by DragonGeek
Daring Do and OC
Comedy/Random/Slice of Life; 3k words; Jul 2019; Teen (Death)

Daring Do never expected to encounter a ghost, but if she [i]had[/i], she never would've thought it would be like this.

Yeah, the BBCode is in the original short description. Anyway, this one has a sheep in it, so it must be good! This one is a ghost sheep, too (the reason for the [Death] tag) and one who is very happy to see a flesh-and-blood pony Daring Do after all these years. I saw the ending, at least in general terms, coming from half the story away, which was a shame. There's a short epilogue whose final line surely can't really be as clunky as it looks but which I'm otherwise stumped about. As such, only a two-star fic for me, but the potential for another star if you do get the ending. And like the first chapter's puns. ★★

A Diamond Dog Applies For a Loan by Twinkletail
Applejack, Twilight and Diamond Dog
Comedy/Slice of Life; 2k words; Jul 2019; Everyone

A Diamond Dog Applies For A Loan.

This one starts off shakily and gets better. The chapter title, "A Bit Clerky", didn't make sense to me with either American or British pronunciation, and an early Pinkie joke didn't really land. But once we start hearing about Pebble the Diamond Dog's family history, things really take off – and they do so in a somewhat surreal manner; I sympathised with Aplejack's confusion. This is almost worthy of a [Random] tag at times. The ending joke made me laugh (out loud!) and is one of the funniest I've seen in this contest. What gives me slight pause is the "Blame Norm MacDonald for this" note in the following Author's Note – it makes me wonder how original the pun actually is. All things considered, this still gets a three, because I did laugh... and for Pebble's background. ★★★

Si vis bellum, para scilis by TheDriderPony
OCs
Comedy/Random; 1k words; Jun 2019; Everyone

A historical account of several creatures not doing what they were supposed to and almost ruining everything for everyone, some more than others.

As Present Perfect pointed out last week, it's impressive that TheDriderPony submitted three stories, all of which placed. This very short effort is set in the early days of civilised contact between ponies (some of) the non-pony races. The fic sets up its joke carefully all the way through, and though it turns out to be a simple pun, it'll probably be a pretty solid one for most. Sadly, it didn't work for me as my own dialect of English pronounces a crucial word differently! I'm going to give it a three anyway for the setup, though you'll appreciate it all the more if you pronounce that word wrongly in the way TheDriderPony does. I enjoyed the clue in the Latin title, too. ★★★

Into the Twily-verse by Raugos
Twilight
Comedy; 8k words; Jul 2019; Teen

A magical mishap leaves Twilight having to deal with a series of Twilights from alternate realities. It's all downhill from there.

And here it is: the contest winner! I can't say I disagree, either: this is among the longest entries and it makes good use of that extra space. This allows several of the various Twilights to have their moments in the sun, while the story also manages to give Starlight an interesting (and occasionally slightly disturbing) supporting role. There are one or two little touches that will probably be appreciated most by old-fandom stalwarts, and a character name that will make many smile. Fluttershy's little role didn't entirely convince me, and the final pun feels slightly short of the very funniest I've seen, but overall this fic gave me the most entertainment of the 11 I've reviewed. A worthy winner. ★★★★

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Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: we're back to non-feghoot fics! That doesn't mean no comedies, though: all being well, stories reviewed will include Bad Horse's Behind the Scenes. Because I want to get that one done before the show ends!