Ponyfic Roundup 243: It Says that They Liked Jousting

I could make some highly opinionated comment here on Brexit or Article 13 or something, but I'm not going to. Anyone who wants to know my political views probably already does, and I'm not going to inflict them on the rest of you. Well, not usually. This blog is staying rooted firmly in Equestria!

Read it Later story count: 266 (+1)

Thanks to a lot of work and some emergency painting (of the DIY type, not the artistic type) there are only two fics in today's Roundup, which only just qualifies it as a roundup at all. But off we go anyway.

My Full Sized Goddess Horse by PresentPerfect
Applejack's Day Off by 1Bit

★: 0 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 1 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.

My Full Sized Goddess Horse by PresentPerfect
Celestia [and an OC]
Random/Sad/Human; 4k words; Jan 2013; Everyone

What would you do if you found a full-sized goddess horse in a box?

This is a parody of My Little Dashie (PR 7), and I don't really recommend you read this unless you've read ROBCakeran53's original first. Mind you, how many people haven't read MLD by now? Anyway, the protagonist here is the sort of guy who likes to remind you every two sentences how miserable his life is, and that his parents are dead because of "fatal death". (What a curse.) While wandering through his extremely empty and abandoned dystopia and somehow avoiding getting mown down by all the traffic, he finds a cardboard box containing... Princess Celestia. Things proceed from there in a ludicrously overblown writing style that perfectly captures the mawkishness of MLD and inflates it so much it explodes, leaving sad, wet bits of balloon all over the room. There are one or two old-fandom references, but getting those isn't vital. The reading linked from the end A/N is no longer available, and this really should be rated [Teen] for language, but that doesn't affect the star rating. ★★★

Applejack's Day Off by 1Bit
Applejack, Apple Bloom, Big Mac and Granny Smith
Slice of Life; 4k words; Jan 2015; Everyone

Applejack's not one to stop working and unwind for the day, but she doesn't have much choice...

Don't be confused by the title – this fic pre-dates the similarly-named show episode by over a year. In this one, Applejack injures her leg and is confined to bed, unable to work on the farm. Predictably, she hates it and tries to find ways to get back in action, repeatedly thwarted by her family. The story is set during S2 and the author tries to echo the feel of a show episode from that period. The limited scale and folksiness are present and correct, but the fact that this was the author's debut does show. There's an overlong diary extract which takes up a whole (short) chapter, plus enough minor technical errors to become irritating even in a brief fic like this. It might have worked better with a bit of show-tone comedy added in. ★★

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Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: I am going to review five fics. Yes, five. I'm saying this right here, right now, so that I can't pretend I didn't say it!