Ponyfic Roundup 182: Chocolate Digestive

Read it Later story count: 380 (-6)

Another four-fic week. I was hoping I might make it up to five this time, but as usual the world conspired against me. Also, cricket. Just as I'd resigned myself to England being utterly useless in every department, they suddenly put in a really good performance. It's probably too late for it to save the match, and we're probably going to lose the Ashes as a result, but at least it's something. When you've been an England cricket fan for as long as I have, you take what you can get! Anyway, today's fics are:

App. Jack by shortskirtsandexplosions
Critical Condition by KR Chrome
Blink by ocalhoun
Burn by rogueunicorn

★: 2 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 1 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0

App. Jack by shortskirtsandexplosionsApplejack, Mane Six and Spike
Comedy/Slice of Life; 5k words; Jan 2015; Teen

The citizens of Ponyville become addicted to a holographic talking Applejack that they've downloaded to their crystalline "smart-watches."

SS&E comes up with another oddity here. Much of the comedy early on is provided by various ponies asking "Virtual AJ" stuff and having her answer it as only she can. After a while, though, Rainbow appears and is not happy with Applejack's likeness having been used without her permission. (Are they supposed to be an item?) A mildly cute ending, which I suppose I should have seen coming. It's not exactly memorable, but if you like the thought of an Applejack version of Siri it might hit the spot. ★★

Critical Condition by KR Chrome
Mane Six (EqG), Sunset Shimmer and CMC
Drama/Equestria Girls/Sad/Slice of Life; 3k words; Jul 2017; Everyone

Based on 2014’s My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Holiday Special, aka the infamous Anon-a-Miss story. Anyway, this is an alternate retelling of the story. What if something happened to Sunset Shimmer as she went out holiday shopping?

Not many people liked that Holiday Special comic, but I thought it was okay, so I was interested to find this fic. The "something happened" in the description is her car being hit by a drink-driving Berry Punch, who is almost absent thereafter. I can't really buy Sunset being in a critical condition but encouraging any and all visitors, and the story's pacing is much too fast. The search for the real Anon-a-Miss does end with a reasonable choice of culprit, but their motive seems too nasty for their character. That really prevents the story from gelling properly. ★

Blink by ocalhoun
Twilight
Dark/Horror; 1k words; Aug 2016; Teen

Teleportation. It is *the* best possible way to travel... As long as you don't think about it too much.

No relation to zaponator's story (PR 122) despite title and broad concept, this is a different and disturbing take on the "teleporting isn't as clean as you'd like to think" idea. The reveal is one of those that might seem a bit silly if it doesn't grab you, in the way that often happens with grimdark, especially as there isn't space for much depth. The explanation may not work quite so well now Starlight's established in the show, and there are a few annoying comma splices, but it's still worth a few minutes of your time. ★★★

Burn by rogueunicorn
OC
Dark/Sad/Slice of Life/Tragedy; 1k words; Dec 2013; Teen

Sometimes, you have to fight fire with fire.

This is the author's only published story and tells the story of unicorn Flame Blackheart, who spends her lonely days waiting for her father to come home and physically assault her. One day, she cracks and takes her revenge. There's no real tension here, unfortunately, and little depth to either character. It's just relentless unpleasantness followed by a shock ending that's not really any shock at all. A shame the author didn't write more fics, as we'll never know whether they would have improved. ★

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Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed will include theworstwriter's When You Fall and The Descendant's Dear Idiot.