Ponyfic Roundup 467

Read it Later story count: 97 (nc)

Words read this week: 27,532

Hello again, everyone. I am well aware – painfully well aware – that I have posted nothing on this blog since last week's Roundup. Believe me, this state of affairs will not continue. For one thing, I really want to rewatch "Parental Glideance"! However, for now it's ponyfic once more. As I trailed last week, I'm having a week off Thousand Words Contest II fics to fit in a standard edition. That means five stories:

The Return of Sunset by Ninjadeadbeard
What it Means to Rule by Boltstrike58
Chances of Fire by yodajax10 (review requested by author)
The Empress and the Goose-Girl by Shaslan
Twilight Seeks Help by TheOtakuX

★: 0 | ★★: 3 | ★★★: 0 | ★★★★: 2 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I enjoy an average amount scores two stars.

The Return of Sunset by Ninjadeadbeard
Sunset Shimmer and Celestia
G4 [tagged EqG but it's basically FiM]; Sad/Slice of Life; 8k words; Oct 2019; Teen (Death)

Sunset Shimmer returns to Equestria a bit earlier than planned.

The late lamented Ninjadeadbeard continues to live through his fiction, and indeed to interest. The snag with this story is that it's really hard to review without massive spoilers. Heck, even the shortdesc above is a spoiler, though since everyone is going to see that on the fic itself I won't redact it. What I will say is that time travel is a factor here, but not in a particularly obvious way. The story directly confronts the paradoxes that come up when people travel to the past, and it's the better for it. It's also, I feel, more of a Celestia story than a Sunset one, and I'm always up for an interesting look at Tia's character. Nicely paced, well-judged emotionally and just an all-round solid approach. A pretty high four and recommended. ★★★★

What it Means to Rule by Boltstrike58
G4; Slice of Life; 3k words; Oct 2019; Everyone

The Crystal Empire celebrates their liberation from King Sombra. Flurry Heart asks Twilight why that's cause for cheers.

Young Flurry (she's a bit younger here than the S1 CMC) has so far been taught only (it is implied) about the likes of Cadance, Celestia and Twilight – and so automatically associates rulership with goodness. As the chapter title says, though, not all rulers are good, and I like the notion = that Flurry is just now learning this. It also makes sense that Flurry would head for Auntie Twilight, who is after all the fount of all knowledge, or at least most knowledge. My problem is that even for somepony Flurry's age, it stretches credulity to believe that she wouldn't know anything about just why the Crystal Ponies were holding a Festival of Liberation, why Spike's statue was there, etc. Flurry's parents don't seem the types to keep big things from their daughter entirely. That bugged me quite a lot, and that's the main reason I can only justify a highish two-star rating. ★★

Review requested by the author
Chances of Fire by yodajax10
Spike, Twilight, Fluttershy and Quibble Pants
G4; Comedy/Sad/Slice of Life; 3k words; Aug 2023; Everyone

Twilight has been saved by Fluttershy from a cockatrice, but the story isn't over yet.

This fic is set back during "Stare Master". All three of the Fimfiction commenters at the time of writing use the word "sweet", and I can see why. Spike in particular is given a good deal of welcome attention and affection – although Twilight needs to be prompted a bit on that by Fluttershy. This wouldn't feel right for S9, but it's much more reasonable for S1, and I like the tone of 'Shy's talking to Spike and her comments to Twi. What does let the fic down a bit is some of the surrounding stuff. The ending is a little lacking in impact. "Jim" (especially) and "Miller" are distractingly unusual names for ponies. There are some relatively minor technical issues, such as several tense mismatches and unnecessary "An orange earth stallion with grey, black and white hair greeted them" stuff. As this stands, a high two, but it wouldn't take that much tidying and tightening to push it over the line to a three. Somewhat reminiscent of early stuff by The Descendant, before he entirely found his rhythm – and giving Spike a good part is never unwelcome. I enjoyed that. ★★

The Empress and the Goose-Girl by Shaslan
Fluttershy, Nightmare Moon, Angel and Luna
G4 AU; Dark/Horror; 12k words; Jun 2023; Teen (Violence)

Fluttershy lives a peaceful life with her geese, taking them every night to graze in the meadows, hurrying home before the forbidden sun rises. She tries not to look at the Midnight Spire as it rises before her, dark and terrible.

By the author of the spectacular Flower Wars (PR 457), this is another winner. It's set in a timeline we're familiar with from the S5 finale: "Nightmare Moon wins". The Empress (as she now styles herself) is dangerous, with a nearly total grip on her lands – I very much like the sprinkled hints that dissension does remain. That said, it's made not absolutely certain just how dangerous: she both claims not to kill her citizens and offers to have several hanged. (Yes, "offers", but the context for that's a bit too spoilery.) A dystopia that is nevertheless a gripping read, with an excellent Fluttershy (not least in her feelings for Angel) and a fascinating "Empress". World-building and characterisation, with a clever canon-inspired ending. Didn't quite blow me away as much as Flower Wars, but then very little does. This is still a great read, and an easy recommendation. High four. ★★★★

Twilight Seeks Help by TheOtakuX
Twilight and Applejack
G4; Slice of Life; 1k words; Dec 2012; Teen

When a bad habit from her Canterlot days returns, Twilight asks for help from one of her friends.

As the (short) "longdesc" says, the bad habit is a drinking problem. There's nothing wrong with the idea of Twilight asking Applejack for assistance here. AJ is in her more serious mode, rightly, without any silly cider cracks. Unfortunately the fic doesn't really convince on why Twi had the drinking problem in the first place. Sure she's been under stress what with all the world-saving, but there's a lack of any real reason why the reader should truly empathise with her here. It all just... happens. As such, I can't go above a lowish two. ★★

---

Back to thousand-worders next week! Also back to more fics! I'll be looking at the remaining five Judge's Prize winners, and also the seven Bronze Medal winners. That's right: no fewer than twelve stories await you in PR 468! Also, I should stop using exclamation marks quite so often! Really! Here's the list:

Judge's Prize

The Pact by Unimpressive Chaos Lord
The Trees of Harmony by Reviewfilly
Cherry Pits by The Red Parade
Hall of Mirrors by RB_
Magic is Most Imminent by heartlessons

Bronze Medal 

The Swing by metronome
I Can't Ask Fluttershy Out by SparklingTwilight
Hop-Frog Afternoon by Pascoite
Through Time, With Love by daOtterGuy
Medusa by NorrisThePony
An Unroyal Wedding by Shrink Laureate
Frag/ment/ed by Dashie04