Here we go again! Another three stories this week, two slightly longer than I usually review here and one very short one.
Stuck by Callisto
The Best and The Worst by Firesight
Maybe Tomorrow by Baal Bunny
★: 0 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0
Note: I use a skewed rating system. A fic I find average scores two stars.
Stuck by Callisto
Applejack and Rainbow Dash
Romance/Slice of Life; 12k words; Feb–Jun 2012; Mature (Sex)
Applejack and Rainbow Dash go for a run in the woods when an awkward situation brings them closer.Obviously inspired by that final scene from "Fall Weather Friends", the setup for this story is that while out running with Dash in a conveniently remote part of the woods, AJ gets herself stuck inside a hollow log and Rainbow Dash needs to find a way to get her out. She starts off fairly normally, but after a while the close physical contact has... certain effects on both mares. So yeah, this is a clopfic and so things get intimate. But it doesn't just hurtle into sex after 400 words, and that helps a lot. The writing does occasionally get pretty clunky (eg "Facing Rainbow Dash's back side, pert and looking ready to consummate") but most of the time it's fine. I should think many readers will even find some of it quite hot. AppleDash enthusiasts should go for this, though unless you truly hate that ship (or M-rated stuff, I guess) it's reasonably good reading anyway. ★★★
The Best and The Worst by Firesight
Twilight and Celestia
Dark/Drama/Mystery/Crossover/Alternate Universe; 16k words; Aug 2019; Everyone
Twilight Sparkle has seen some of the best of humanity during her visits to Earth. Now it is time she sees some of the worst...The location is Chernobyl. That's no spoiler, as the long description explicitly notes the link with the TV series. Celestia takes her there, by way of the semi-hidden pony microstate-on-Earth of Equios, and we see things mostly through Twi's eyes (though there is a little head-hopping). I felt it nearly worked, but didn't quite get there. It's very wordy at times, almost like a encyclopedia article framed by ponies, and occasionally it teeters on the edge of becoming a political tract. There are certainly moments of genuine high emotion, but also times when I just wanted the story to get on with it. (I'm aware the TV series' pace was also steady, but nevertheless.) The final chapter is certainly my favourite part of The Best and the Worst, and it succeeded in justifying the first part of the fic's title. I also appreciated the world-building. But in the end, this didn't quite do it for me. A high two, but a two nevertheless. ★★
Maybe Tomorrow by Baal Bunny
Fluttershy and Angel
Sad/Slice of Life; 1k words; Oct 2014; Everyone
Angel Bunny wishes he could leave Fluttershy. Oh, how he wishes it...I added this to my RiL list after "She Talks to Angel" came out, though this fic is much older. Written for a WriteOff prompt of "Just Over the Horizon", it's from Angel's perspective and it gives him a very different character from the one he had in the S9 episode. Here, Angel is a more thoughtful, introspective being, and his thoughts on ponies in general and Fluttershy in particular are somewhat conflicted. What's most intriguing is that Angel sees that ponies influence the world in a way they're not even aware of. There's a parallel with humanity there if you care to look for it. This is an efficiently written story, packing quite a lot into a small space, and I suspect I'd see more if I read it several times. A high three for sure, with the potential to shade into a four if Angel's portrayal really grabs you. ★★★
Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed should include Wanderer D's The Changeling Queen.
I don't think I've ever seen you review a clopfic before. I feel a bit less inappropriate now!
ReplyDeleteThat Angel story was responsible for one of only two times I watched the show and thought "I've seen this synopsis done better out of canon". (The other was Luna doing Celestia's job for a day in 'A Royal Problem', spoiled by 'The Day Shift', the excellent Luna issue of the micro series comic - although overall that ended up being one of my favourite episodes.)
I don't read many, but I have reviewed a few, though it does depend how you define "clopfic". Three M-rated fics with the [Sex] warning tag that come to mind are When the Levee Breaks by a Hoof-ful of Dust, Ribbons and Lace by Jot Jiggety Jig and Cadence in A Minor by Isseus.
DeleteGosh, it's ages since I've read the micro-series comics. Luna's was probably my second favourite of the ten, after Rarity's, and it certainly had my favourite cover. (The "I'm switching you to decaf!" one.)
Hello, I'm Firesight, author of The Best and The Worst. I would have appreciated the courtesy of being notified of the review rather than discovering it through my referrals months later. When I saw louderyay.blogspot.com appear in the story's referral list, I did a site search on google and found this.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I thank you for taking the time to review it. If the story just didn't quite do it for you, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't change its pacing or its level of wordiness. The tempo was very deliberate for purposes of suspense and really immersing/unsettling Twilight. I wanted to make her slow discovery of the truth about the place beliveable, including her deductions of where they were and the source/nature of the strange contamination she sensed. The places she visited were the disaster's iconic locations--the vehicles graveyards, the abandoned town, the Ferris Wheel, and control room/Elephant's Foot, each designed to impart her new knowledge and clues.
I'll also take some mild issue with you saying it was on the edge of being a political tract. No more than the original series was, and only if you consider being anti-communist political. I went out of my way to praise the Soviet people even as I condemned the Soviet state.
The only thing that strikes me as slightly encyclopedia-ish about it was Celly's explanation of the disaster, and the reason I did that was to correct the HBO series narrative about it. The series got a couple major things wrong, embellishing the truth where it simply didn't need to and doing a disservice to both history and their viewers in the process. So I gave my own account of events that I very carefully culled from various (non-Wikipedia) sources, and only stuff that was in general agreement.
I'm flattered you liked the worldbuilding, which is always a major thing in my stories. I borrowed on one of my existed verses for it. I just figured the story would fit well in that verse because it had a ready-made explanation as to why the pair would be there.
In the end, I accept your review with the caveats mentioned and will link my readers to it. Thank you very much for directing some interest my way, as getting readers for this story has been a slow process.
Addendum: As a thank-you, I plugged the review and your blog. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/896795/the-best-and-the-worst-review-2
DeleteA stupidly late reply from me, but thank you. I am flattered that you took the time to make those comments. Of course, like any review mine is just a personal view. It's obvious from the reception your fic got that plenty of people had a very good time with it.
Delete