Rainbow Dash: Equestrian Hero by Hopeful_Ink_Hoof
I Was Nothing by ROBCakeran53
You Lose Some, You Winsome by Arwhale
Fluttershy's Tail Extension by The Usurper
A Draconequus' Guide to Immortality by ArgonMatrix
Rainbow Dash: Equestrian Hero by Hopeful_Ink_Hoof
Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Scootaloo, Wonderbolts and King Sombra
Alternate Universe/Dark/Sad/Tragedy; 5k words; Dec 2015; Teen
How Far Will Rainbow Dash go to stop King Sombra and save Equestria [sic]The very iffy English of the description thankfully isn't replicated in this fic's main text, though it does have some technical issues. The story is set in the "War against Sombra" timeline, from Rainbow Dash's perspective. It's pretty dark stuff – you don't have to get very far in before being told about the death of a character we've seen on the show – but despite a lot of exposition, I still found this fairly interesting. It may not feel so fresh after another 100 fics on the same premise have appeared, but for now it's worth a look if you're into this timeline. A high two. ★★
I Was Nothing by ROBCakeran53
Trixie
Alternate Universe/Slice of Life/Tragedy; 2k words; Dec 2015; Teen
I am the greatest and most powerful unicorn that ever lived.Although he'll be forever known for My Little Dashie (PR 7), ROBCakeran53 has actually written quite a few other fics. This is one: a monologue by Trixie from the "wasteland" alternate timeline seen in the S5 finale. Trixie feels like Trixie, and you notice her language change through the piece. I didn't enjoy a fairly brief off-screen gore scene, but it does make sense in context. I was left wanting more: a good thing in its way, but one that limited this to a top-end three when a four was there for the taking. ★★★
You Lose Some, You Winsome by Arwhale
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo
Slice of Life; 5k words; Dec 2013; Everyone
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo decide to go on another weekend camping trip to Winsome Falls. But on their first night in the tent, Scootaloo accidentally wakes Rainbow Dash in the middle of the night with an embarassing secret: she's wet the bed.You remember that "Making the Most of the Mundane" contest that I won with Ever Let the Fancy Roam? Well, I'm glad it wasn't up against Arwhale's fic, as this would surely have walked it. As can be seen from the description, this story doesn't hide any great surprises: it's Scootalove pure and simple. I don't like the title, but the rest is lovely. It's a Royal Guard inductee, and in truth I'm a tad surprised it was considered that good, but if you like Dash/Scoots bonding then you'll probably like this a lot. I do, and I do. ★★★★
Fluttershy's Tail Extension by The Usurper
Fluttershy, Rarity and Rainbow Dash
Slice of Life; 10k words; Apr 2012; Everyone
It was revealed in one of the editions of the Foal Free Press that Fluttershy has tail extensions! I [sic]From the author of As You Fancy, Minister (PR 18), this is a look at how Fluttershy came to have that long tail in the first place. Written a matter of days after "Ponyville Confidential" went out, it's dated in parts and, oddly, Rarity's mother doesn't seem like the one we'd already seen in the show by that point. Still, it's a reasonably pleasant read, especially for Flutterfans. Where it's let down, apart from some rather intrusive LUS ("butter-yellow pegasus" being the main offender) and a few punctuation issues, is in dragging on a bit. Sharpened up a little, and cut down by about a third, this could certainly have been a three-star fic. As it is, it has to make do with a high two. ★★
A Draconequus' Guide to Immortality by ArgonMatrix
Twilight, Discord, Spike, Celestia and Mane Six
Slice of Life; 7k words; Feb 2014; Everyone
After suffering an internal crisis at her coronation party, Twilight gains a bit of insight on immortality from the likeliest of unlikely sources.This was written just after S3 finished, and it feels it, too. That said, if you don't mind stories of the "how will Twilight cope now she's immortal, if indeed she is?" variety, this is a pretty decent one. It takes quite a while to get going, and I found "Twilight slanted her eyes" (used more than once) an odd piece of phrasing, but it does have the huge advantage of a believable Discord. If you hate the very premise, it probably won't convert you, but otherwise it's well worth a look. ★★★
Next time on Ponyfic Roundup, stories reviewed will include ocalhoun's Six To Eight Weeks Dungeon and Regidar's Blank Book.
Trivia: "butter-yellow pegasus" is my least favorite application of LUS!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteFriggin' typos...
DeleteWhat is the deal with people's obsession with the coat colors, anyway? I've lost track of the number of writers I've tried to help out who had paragraphs like this:
Gearshift was working in his shop on a summer's afternoon. He had grease on his grey coat. His mane was lime green. He was taller than most ponies, and very muscle-y. On his face, he had a scar under his right eye. He's a Virgo, and likes long walks on the beach with his indigo hooves."
I always feel like I'm running into a mental wall with them when I try to explain that very little of that is interesting to most readers. They want details that matter. At the very least, work those physical details in around other descriptions so that it's not just a wall of seemingly unimportant detail that hits you all at once.
I now really want to read about those indigo hooves that go for long walks with Gearshift.
DeleteActually, his indigo hooves HATE long walks on the beach, but their in a co-dependent relationship with Gearshift, so they suck it up and don't say anything.
DeleteWell, when you make an OC, you want everyone to know everything about them, right? It's a combination of that and the fact that ponies are so colorful and visually-oriented, design-wise. At leas, that's what I think.
DeleteOkay, here you go. I whipped this up for you. Apologies to Lovecraft, as I tread a little close to some of his work.
DeleteAlso, apologies for the probably billions of mistakes. I haven't gone back to do any editing.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EKjwVq-9bObrch98T4gWvq4UrEvsL31-5thxGqgIZBk/edit
I'm sure it does have to do with enthusiasm for one's OC, but it just seems like common sense not to do that. No one starts off a personal story that way. If I'm describing how two guys at my job got into a slap fight, I don't spend minutes talking about their clothes and their haircut and their relative fitness unless that somehow factors into the tale somehow. Anyone would look at a person strangely if they told a personal story that way, so it's really odd to me that SO MANY authors WRITE like that.
Deletejuggs, you absolute monster D: clean that shit up and post it on Fimfic, you hear me?
DeleteI swear, if I could just type one simple reply without ten typos in it, I would be so happy.
DeleteAnyway, I'm not sure many readers would be all that interested in that little story without the context of this discussion.
Well, the question I ask is, is it effective without context? I wouldn't include this conversation until after the story is read, after all. If nothing else, the way you constructed the piece is pretty darn good. :B I think it's got merit.
DeleteI'll probably re-read it in a week or two and see if it grabs more or not. It was really just a silly one-off to explain that weirdly constructed sentence. If I'm into it on the revisitation, I might try to shine it up some.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete