Ponyfic Roundup 282

Read it Later story count: 226 (-6)

Off we go at last! I'm gradually getting back into the swing of things now, and for once I have a fic under review that isn't a one-shot. It'd be nice if I could manage that more than about once a century, wouldn't it? Ha ha ha. Anyway, here's today's tasty (I hope) trio:

The Sparkle Census by Skyward Shoe
Alpha Predator by Jest
The Carmine Line by Zontan

★: 0 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 2 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0

The Sparkle Census by Skyward Shoe
Twilight
Adventure/Comedy/Sci-Fi/Alternate Universe, 25k words; Dec 2016–Feb 2017; Everyone

Upon gaining access to the multiverse, some people go on fantastic adventures, rewriting history or exploring the vast unknowns of time and space. Twilight Sparkle had another idea.

As that story name suggests, when Twi is summoned into another dimension, it's actually to take part in a census of all Twilights. All Twilights, including those who aren't alicorns. Or ponies. Or mammals. After a while, though, she realises that something darker is going on. This is largely a pretty entertaining read, with plenty of fun world-building, and it's quite the rollercoaster too. The author does a good job in stopping the various speaking-role Twilights' characters from blurring into one another. Things occasionally get mildly clunky: trying to remember the name of a computer mouse (she'd seen them at CHS, so no problem in itself) and guessing "chipmunk" and "rat" is trying too hard. And I really wish SS had sorted out their speech punctuation. I only really have two complaints about the story itself. One is that Twi doesn't seem to find the prospect of spending potentially months away from her friends (her POV, not theirs) worrying or upsetting. The other is an ending that's a clear hook for a sequel the author's now decided not to write. Still, if you really like multiverse stories you'll probably really like this. I only mildly do, so a highish three seems right. ★★★

Alpha Predator by Jest
Fluttershy and Zecora
Comedy/Random, 2k words; Oct 2019; Everyone

The scariest, most intimidating and powerful creatures of the everfree have come together to discuss the one true monster of the forest. Zecora.

What you see (above) is what you get, really. A manticore, the hydra, you get the idea. Most of this fic is taken up with the monsters discussing, in tones not a million miles from awe, Zecora's capabilities. This does help to explain her Everfree Forest home, if you still cleave to the idea of the Everfree being terribly dangerous. For some reason the cragadile present says things like "That's not cool man", but there y'go. Technically this badly needs a clean-up: at one point a manticore exclaims something sagely. But I quite like the general concept, and the ending isn't bad. ★★

The Carmine Line by Zontan
Rarity and Twilight
Dark, 1k words; Sep 2019; Everyone

When Rarity accidentally nicks Twilight during a fitting, she discovers just what alicorn blood can do, properly applied.

Suffice to say, to avoid spoilers, that it does something which brings Rarity eventually to a rather dark place. Not that dark, as this is E-rated after all. It's  a clever little fic, relying on atmosphere rather than action and I very much like Rarity's and Twilight's dialogue. Early on, Twi uses a spell to close up a wound, which isn't something we ever saw in the show, but that's not too big a deal. My real sticking point, and the reason this is a (high) three rather than something more, is that what Rarity does seems a little bit much for her, especially when one of her closest friends is involved. ★★★

---

Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed should include Muramasa's The Last Ride.