Ponyfic Roundup 62: She'll Save Every One of Us

Apparently Build-A-Bear are going to do a Derpy, though I assume she'll actually be referred to as Muffins. Any guesses on what proportion of their sales of this particular plushie will actually be to kids? I suspect it won't be very high. Anyway, I think it's about time we had another spotlight edition of PR, and I know that at least one reader has been eagerly awaiting this particular review. Here we go, then:

Flash Fog by Kwakerjak
Fluttershy, OCs, Mane Six and CMC
Comedy/Adventure; 128K words; Sep 2012–Nov 2014; Everyone
Fluttershy qualified as a fog specialist for tax reasons – but now there's a real fog-based emergency, and the Department of Weather wants her to overcome it. This is a very entertaining story, which scores points from me for writing Fluttershy particularly well. The main OC, Pencil Pusher, really grew on me as the story went along, and there's a fun background plot involving some classic CMC hijinkery. Plus humans with Lyra and Bon Bon, though not quite as you might imagine. It does drag a little bit, especially in the middle, but it's still an enjoyable read despite its length. ★★★★

If you don't mind spoilers, come past the break for more!

The thing I like most about Flash Fog is how well Fluttershy is written. Although it was a little bit of a stretch at first for me to accept her tax-dodging, that was soon forgotten. She isn't portrayed as a complete doormat (hooray), but neither does she go unrealistically far the other way. Her talks with Rainbow Dash are generally enjoyable (for the reader, if not always for her!) and I enjoy the way she and Pencil Pusher gradually interact more, too.

Talking of which... yes, there's a shipping element running almost throughout this fic, although it's quite restrained and doesn't push its way into places where other plotlines are more interesting. I can understand Kwakerjak not wanting to add a Romance tag to the story. Pencil Pusher himself is a pretty good OC, although it's a little bit of a cliché for him to have an overbearing boss (and the explanation for Greg's unusual name is pretty thin). Still, by the end I was really hoping 'Shy would say yes to Pencil.

There's some interesting world-building in this fic, ranging from Pinkie Pie's encounters with a certain rock-farming family to the actual nature of the ever-encroaching fog – something which forms a crucial subplot in itself. I thought the "fog suit" idea was quite clever, in that it attempts (with some success) to solve a perennial pegasus problem: how come they can walk on clouds and fly straight through them? "Pegasus magic" is the usual answer, but this fic goes one step further in addressing the issue.

The humour in this story isn't (mostly) of the "hysterical giggling" type, and it's mostly provided by the supporting characters. Interestingly enough, Pinkie isn't chief among these: her big set-piece party near the end is relatively seriously handled. (There is some gratuitous Derpy here, though. Not that I'm complaining!) Applejack's reaction to the romantic stuff is funny, as are the CMC-related shenanigans, but my favourite is the way Lyra and Bon Bon's human obsessions are written. Cleverly done, I feel.

Things I don't like so much? I do feel that it's just a little too long. I don't mind the slow pace particularly, but there are times when there are just so many subplots in the mix that you start wondering when we're going to get back to Fluttershy. I wasn't that keen on AJ's "disaster = sales" thinking early on, and I didn't think the dodgy journalist Hard Hitter was that interesting a character, maybe because he wasn't fleshed out much. Still, the pros certainly outweigh the cons, and this fic can be recommended.