After a brief flirtation with actually publishing PR on the correct day last week, I'm back to wobbling around the week like a jelly. Only the two fics to review this time around, although one of them is much longer than I'd normally include in a non-Spotlight post – and it's a story that was once extremely famous. Was it worth the read? You'll see...
What You Can Imagine by darf
Progress by Andrew Joshua Talon
★: 0 | ★★: 1 | ★★★: 1 | ★★★★: 0 | ★★★★★: 0
What You Can Imagine by darf
OC and Other
[no genre tags, though Sci-Fi may be closest]; 10k words; Sep 2012; Teen
A Pony's deepest desires brought to life aren't always what they expect.A colt makes his first visit to a place where your fantasies can come true – in a manner of speaking. Almost the entire story is set in the waiting room, as we follow Grey's (for that is his name) interactions with some of the room's other inhabitants. I found this pretty involving, and the less salubrious ponies waiting with Grey made my skin crawl appropriately – one stallion named Squeaky Clean especially. I also enjoyed some nicely original use of language, with one phrase about an OC's accent especially standing out. However, this feels like an original-fic story with the serial numbers stuck back on, if you will. The echoes (deliberate or otherwise) of Red Dwarf's "Better than Life" were strong more than once, and maybe the Equestrian setting actually hinders this fic slightly. I liked this, and the ending worked for me, but it doesn't feel especially Pony. ★★★
Progress by Andrew Joshua Talon
Luna, Celestia, OCs, Applejack and Apple Bloom [and plenty more]
Comedy; 58k words; Jul 2011–May 2012; Teen
[no short description; I guess you could do that back then]This is where Luna's abacus comes from. The first story, "Luna versus the Microwave", is good fun if you accept a considerably more technologically advanced Equestria than the show offers. A few later chapters, notably those centring on OC pairing Sundance and Hoyden, are entertaining as well. For example, I enjoyed one where Luna tells a fable about a pony "capturing the Moon", though it's very clearly based on an Earth one. The biggest problem with Progress is that it goes on way too long. "Luna versus Ponyville" sprawls across nine (admittedly short) chapters and I was bored after three. More in the YMMV category, "Luna versus Baseball" has a number of clear joke references that as a non-baseball fan I don't get at all. (I have not the slightest clue who "Grey Marex" is based on, for example.) Actually, there's too much meta in general later on. Progress is intermittently amusing, though very rarely laugh-out-loud funny – but it might have been considerably better at a quarter the length. ★★
Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed should include Summer Island by Bachiavellian.
Oof, I'm sorry you had to struggle through Progress. :B It's the poster child of "did not age well" stories.
ReplyDeleteI would argue that even back it wasn't that good. I still think that the the first chapter is amusing enough, but all the subsequent ones just help dilute the effect.
DeleteI'd certainly have enjoyed it more had it just been that first chapter, though as I say I did find some of the Sundance/Hoyden stuff pleasant enough reading. It's certainly far too long, though.
DeleteGrey Marex is a play on Greg Maddux, I assume. He was one of the best pitchers in a long time, and he was also considered one of the smartest, if that jives with how it's used in the story.
ReplyDeleteThanks. The name means nothing to me, but at least I have a point of reference now. In the story he's pretty much a generic "great baseball player" -- the Apple Family are depicted as big baseball fans.
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