How to get your story reviewed in Ponyfic Roundup

I'd like to begin by saying that this post isn't my fault: someone, who as I'm feeling in a good mood shall remain nameless, wanted me to make it. I resisted for quite a while, since it seemed so silly, but this someone probably wasn't going to stop asking until I actually did make said post. For those odd enough to want a PR review, then, a few pointers.

Read this blog
That's why I'm posting this here and not over on Fimfiction! The place I'm most likely to see your comment is in the comments (funny, that) of an actual PR post. Please don't comment in a totally unrelated post, as that won't help you get very far at all. That said, I'll happily accept requests and suggestions via my Fimfiction PMs if you'd rather make your case privately.

Submit complete stories only
This is a very nearly unbreakable rule: I do not enjoy reading stories until I know there's a conclusion waiting at the end. Your fic needs to be marked "Complete" for it to have a chance. I say "very nearly" because I did make an exception for Proof Reading Clopfics Sucks (PR 112) and Cheerilee's Thousand (PR 208) as their format made them pretty much self-contained as they stood.

Don't squick me... too much
I don't read much Mature-rated ponyfic, but I don't rule it out. I won't read foalcon under any circumstances. I can deal with some fetishes: I've reviewed stories covering BDSM and exhibitionism, for example. As far as gore goes, I've read Cupcakes and have zero interest in reading yet another terrible new version. I may accept even M-rated gore in the service of an actual story, though. Bear in mind that my favourite pony is Fluttershy, and that I think cruelty is the worst sin of them all.

Expect a wait
At the time of writing, my Read it Later list is north of 250 stories. I don't read in strict adding order, so if the fic you suggest really grabs my attention, it may not take long for me to get to it. Some stories still haven't been reviewed after two years on the list, though. I just don't have enough spare time to read 50 stories a week.

I like one-shots
This is connected with the previous point. If I can read one 70,000-word fic or ten 7,000-word fics, I'll usually choose the latter. Not always, as my occasional Spotlight editions demonstrate, but you're definitely more likely to be reviewed if you submit a short piece rather than a million-word epic. (Again: I am not going to read, much less review, Project Horizons.)

Know what you're getting into
If you're on Fimfiction, you'll probably already know that its reviewers are rather tougher than the ones you get on FanFiction.Net. While I'm far from being the toughest around, and won't insult you personally, I'm not going to hold back if I think a story has serious faults. Seriously: don't ask for honest thoughts if you can only deal with praise.

Give me feedback!
When my review of your story goes up, I would love to talk to you about it, especially if you want to pick up on anything I said. I leave the comments here open, including to anonymous users – though please at least sign a name if you go that route. As with stories themselves, your comments and criticism will help make my reviews more useful.