tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301854188587462574.post1697669288487813812..comments2024-03-29T00:13:11.250+00:00Comments on Louder Yay: Ponyfic Roundup 157: Throw Yourself at the Ground and MissLoganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03769758118827489093noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301854188587462574.post-36251044263232234952017-05-17T15:16:57.107+01:002017-05-17T15:16:57.107+01:00I gotta agree with this. It was decent, but ham-f...I gotta agree with this. It was decent, but ham-fisted in enough ways that it detracted from the experience. I ended up just thinking that it was just okay by the end.xjuggernaughtxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12286896058684660654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301854188587462574.post-39149449460428477062017-05-17T14:29:16.169+01:002017-05-17T14:29:16.169+01:00I read "I Can Wait" a long time ago, and...I read "I Can Wait" a long time ago, and it was a big disappointment for me, not in the way that I thought it was terrible, but in the way that I though it was pretty good but so on the verge of being excellent. There were three main things that gave me that reaction.<br /><br />First, the story's told from Rainbow Dash's perspective, which is an entirely appropriate choice, since we're supposed to see the dissonance between what we can tell is going on and what Dash can (or can allow herself to) figure out. But that's marred by the occasional slip into other characters' perspectives in a couple of spots, as it should be completely unnecessary to inhabit any perspective but Dash's in this story.<br /><br />But even more than that, there are slips into an almost omniscient point of view, where Dash seems to be acknowledging that she's not reacting how she should or that she does know what's going on even as she reacts as if she doesn't. Authors really need to keep on top of how they're wording limited narration so it really does convey what the character knows and how the character perceives it, and there were too many places here where the narration is inconsistent on that front. The story would have so much more impact if the reader realized that dichotomy, but it's lost when the narration spells it out explicitly at times, or worse, unintentionally has Dash realize it as well.<br /><br />And last is that it goes over the top. "Less is more" is a good axiom to live by for sadfics, so when Dash is crying so hard that her throat gets shredded into a bloody mess, the story has officially crossed over from sad to comedy.<br /><br />There were a few other small things, like how Twilight quickly goes from being unable to give a speech because she's overcome by emotion to speaking very stoically with Dash.<br /><br />It's the "almost" stories that can be the most frustrating. I certainly wouldn't downvote a story over this, but I'd usually rather read something thoroughly mediocre than something with a critical flaw that stops it right on the edge of working perfectly.Pascoitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05861834765162800926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301854188587462574.post-14257814820971904392017-05-17T12:52:25.988+01:002017-05-17T12:52:25.988+01:00No love for Two Peas? D: I FAINTNo love for <i>Two Peas</i>? D: I FAINTPresent Perfecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16195959811544391904noreply@blogger.com